Seven Conceptually Insane (Yet Undeniably Awesome) Adventure Time Princesses

I am a huge Adventure Time fan, completely convinced that my path in life will lead to me either writing for, or drawing for, Adventure Time, be it the comic or the show. I just find everything about the whole universe it creates to be magical. A wise man called it our generation’s Yellow Submarine, and they are correct. Fun for kids, but truly a trip for adults, Adventure Time has something for everyone, and nowhere is this more on display than the incredibly versatile roster of princesses on the show. About two months ago, I started keeping a notebook with me when I would watch Adventure Time. Why? There are so many references and quick, inside jokes, that it would be easy to miss everything if you just took it at face value.

But I noticed a trend when looking at my Adventure Time notebook this week. The genuine insanity in the design of a great deal of the show’s princesses.  So I decided I would proverbially venture into the land of ooo and pull back the curtain on some of the lesser known (but still awesome) princesses from the wonderful world of Adventure Time. Some of weird, some are wonderful, and some aren’t even fully developed in the womb yet, which shows you just how wonderfully insane this show can get at times. Which one is your favorite? Also, please note, the most well-known and beloved princesses will NOT be on this list. No LSP, no Princess Bubblegum, and no Flame Princess. This list is all about the minor princesses who make major impressions.

Embryo Princess

How the show even gets away with stuff like this is beyond me, but I love it even more as a result.

Yes, I am not making that up. And Embryo Princess wasn’t just a passing one-time cameo, either. Embryo Princess had made multiple appearances on the show, and even has a pink, gelatinous cell phone, which I feel is worth bringing up here because she just oozes with so much WTF’ery. Only adding to that is the fact that she floats around in an embryonic pink sac, making everyone who encounters her even MORE uncomfortable.

But come on, being a princess while still embryonic is pretty impressive.

Ghost Princess

As cute as this show may seem, Ghost Princesses story is a heart breaking one.

Formerly known as The Warrior Princess (Xena, is that you?), The Ghost Princess was actually murdered in battle by her lover, and is cursed to walk the land of OOO as a ghost, with no actual recollection that it was her lover, Clarence, who killed her. There was an entire episode about her and her reunion with Clarence, who she found peace with, even after her death.

Wow, it feels like I am writing about a Shakespeare play, yet I am writing about a show that stars talking candy. Just shows you how many levels this show works on.

Princess Beautiful

Metaphorically speaking, this is how my every day feels when it starts.

This one is ironic because Princess Beautiful is long dead, and is not so beautiful anymore. And her grave, when discovered by Finn, says:

She was so beautiful, but died of baldness.

Oh, okay. That old ailment. You should also look at that gif. up there, because as you can see, she is super emo and sleeps on a bed of bones. So basically, she is a zombie. So, for those keeping score, we have a embryonic princess, a ghost princess, and a zombie princess on this list. Basically, all the voices that live in my head, animated and brought to life.

Bounce House Princess

There is a HUGE METAPHOR in this picture that is not so subtle.

She is a bouncy bounce. And she is a princess. Right there, all arguments should be rendered useless. This wins.

And what made it even cooler is that she invites Finn “inside her” and he declines, noting that the very idea of that makes him uncomfortable. So yes, Adventure Time knows what it is doing, and is doing it on purpose.

Here Finn, allow me to pull back my folds and let you into my soft, squishy insides and pink walls. No really, she has pink walls. So far, this list is all about sex and death. Bet no one saw that coming.

Space Angel Princess

She kinda looks an angel from spac…OH. I GET IT!

We know very little about Space Angel Princess, and don’t even know what realm she is the princess of, but we all assume it is somewhere awesome and obviously in outer space. Is she dead, like many of the other princesses on this list, thus why she is an angel? Or are “space angels” a thing?

Truth is, I have none of the answers you seek, but I know when Ice King turned into Nice King, she was caged up in his place, and yelled out “Nice King, I love you!”, so apparently, Stockholm syndrome exists for space princesses, too.

Princess Princess Princess

So if you dated her, there is a head for every occasion!

Princess Princess Princess is kind of the visual representation of all women in the sense that there are so many aspects to her personality. And though I didn’t notice it at first, each head seems to wear its own different crown, so she is like the “value meal” of princesses. Oh, and one of her heads is super evil and demonic, but we all have that inside of us, so it’s not that odd to see it represented. I also like how they looked like they are melted ONTO a dress, as oppose to wearing one.

Just those sick little touches that make it all that much more memorable.

Raggedy Princess

From the “Puppets for kids whose parents hate them” series.

Raggedy Princess might actually be my favorite. Why? Because every time we see her on the show, she is in some awful scenario that there seems no logical way she could have gotten into, and no logical way she can even get out of. The other odd thing is people just kind of accept it, and rarely do we see anyone do anything to try and change or better her scenario. She is like the Eeyore of Adventure Time. Always depressed and just a few stitches away from falling apart.

I relate to Raggedy Princess far more than any grown man should.