Game of Thrones Review: “The Kingsroad”
Today begins my official series of reviews for HBO’s Game of Thrones now that Dexter isn’t on and Lost is long dead. It’s a bit of a gamble, as the show doesn’t have a large established fanbase yet, but from the pilot, I have a hunch it will get one soon, and seeing as the show’s already been picked up for season two, I know that it will last at least a decently long while.
And how can it not? HBO has poured a TON of resources into Game of Thrones, and it shows. The landscapes and costumes are film quality, and they had better get a lot of episodes out of them to recoup their investment. The show hooked me last week, and now that I’m back and officially reviewing, I think it’s a good idea to format this installment a little differently to get things started.
There are a LOT of characters in this show, and their names are uttered about once per episode, so it’s hard to keep track of who exactly they are, especially in writing. I’m going to integrate this first real review with a character summary so going forward we can know who is who, what they look like, and what they’re up to. This might take a bit of time, and it might not be entirely correct, but I’ll do my best and make edits later if necessary. If you want a super detailed list, go find a wiki, but this should be a decent overview.
Eddard “Ned” Stark
The guardian of the north in Winterfall, and the king’s new right hand man, replacing his recently deceased one. He’s more or less the de facto main character of the show, and spent this episode palling around with the king, solving disputes between their children as they make their way south toward King’s Landing.
Jon Snow
The bastard son of Eddard and another woman who remains a mystery. Not officially a Stark, he’s hated by the other children’s mother, and has recently left to go join the priestly order that guard the great ice wall of the north.
Catelyn Stark
The matriarch of the Stark clan who hates Snow. She was attacked while tending to her injured child, who had been pushed off a tower by this man:
Jaime Lannister
The good looking but super evil twin brother of the Queen, whom he also enjoys sex with.
Cersei Lannister
The aforementioned Queen who in addition to being incestuous pervert, defended her dumbass brat son when he lied about being attacked by Eddard’s daughter. A very cute dire wolf ended up dead because of her bitchiness. I’ll never forgive her.
Tyrion Lannister
The dwarf brother of the Queen who is probably my favorite character of the show. He’s a drunken womanizer, but smart as a whip and currently journeying with Jon Snow to the wall because he’s…bored? I’m not sure exactly.
Robert Baratheon
Should probably mention this guy, since he’s the king. He’s best friends with Eddard, and annoyed with all the drama that went on with the kids. But he does cave into his wife and that damn dog dies.
Arya Stark
The tomboyish daughter of Eddard who gets in trouble for “assaulting” the young prince via her dire wolf. In reality he was beating up on her commoner friend and was swinging a real sword at her face. Douchebag.
Joffrey Baratheon
The douchebag prince in question. He has a really small mouth and far apart eyes and it creeps me out. He must die.
Viserys Targaryen
The super blonde exiled prince that is trying to win back the throne by having his sister marry a barbarian with an army. Currently holds the record for the show’s best quote saying “I’d let 10,000 of his men and their horses f*** you if it would get us back the throne.” What a good brother!
Daenerys Targaryen
His hot blonde sister whose entire plot this episode was learning how to please her new man with the mystical position of “girl on top.” Serioursly. Also, she has some dragon eggs that I’m REALLY hoping are going to hatch. That is not a euphemism.
Khal Drogo
The barbarian chief whose role on this show is to nail the above chick while saying absolutely nothing. Acting gig of the century if you ask me.
So these are the major players, and I’m forgetting a few like some of the less important Stark kids and the constantly parade of scruffy middle aged dudes wandering around the kingdom. But if they become more relevant I guess I’ll add them.
This episode wasn’t quite as exciting as the first, but it’s a lot easier to see the hero/villain lines drawn in the sand now, with the Lannisters clearly up to no good in addition to the more distant threats of the Targaryens and the White Walkers. But now with the incest-witnessing kid awake, some serious shit might be about to go down.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing this show’s potential realized, and so far it’s been a great start.
I hardly think you can call the Nightswatch a priestly order, in spite of their vows.
Winterfell not Winterfall and the Nightswatch is NOT a priestly order unless you are are strictly referring to their vow of celibacy.
I love the funny and accurate characterizations, and this different approach to a ‘review’.
Also, I’m not sure that “I’d let 10,000 of his men and their horses f*** you if it would get us back the throne.” is the correct quote so you may want to mention it is a paraphrase. I know he has at least 40k men.
It will be interesting to see how your list of major characters changes through the series.
Hahaha, good luck Paul, writing a review about a show based on a popular book series. I thought the review is a good recap for anyone who hasnt started watching the show just yet, but the comment sections of these reviews are probably going to be nothing but “You got _____ wrong!”
So again, good luck.
“A very cute dire wolf ended up dead because of her bitchiness. I’ll never forgive her.” – haha! my wife was *pissed* when that happened. and do you think they’re using CGI or some kind of facial appliance to the blond prince kid? because MAN he is freaking looking. inhuman.
I was a little disappointed that we didn’t see more of the White Walkers, but I’m sure, like most series, as time goes on and the major players are further defined entire episodes will focus on one element of the story. I’m pumped.
Can’t wait to see the next couple of episodes. I don’t know the breakdown of plots in each episode and don’t want to find out, despite knowing what’s going to happen, but I can guess what’s going on in the next couple of weeks and I’m excited. This series is living up to massive hype.
@J5, asking to get names and quotes correct is hardly picky in my opinion.
@J5
I’m with you brother. I can barely pronounce some of the names. When I get around to watching this I will be able to place the faces with the character profiles that Paul has so kindly written.
Good job, Paul. This was a quick, easy, funny read. Most importantly it made me want to go home and watch!
I -really- think that Jon is the son of the former queen, who I believe was Stark’s sister (unless I read that sentence wrong). It would make sense, afterall. He’s being hidden, for lack of a better term, in the North. This could be because he’s royalty and it’s best that no one knows about it. Also because Stark had an affair with the Queen (he refuses to describe her to the King, likely because he knows who she is). Even further because it would mean Stark had an incestuous affair (which is given further credit by the fact that the current queen is also having an incestuous affair)
I know it is based on a book, but I’ve never read it so I have absolutely no idea for sure what is going on. I’m just grasping at straws with Jon because he seems far too big a role for just the bastard of a Lord.
@Josh:
They mentioned in the last episode that the mother of Jon was just some bar wench – the king and lord stark talked about it. It would make sense, it’s the typical set up for a heroic character in a long term fantasy book series. Son of a lord (and so he has the whole “heroics” thing in his blood), but also a bastard so no one cares or excepts too much from him. I have never read the books, but he looks like the character who will be playing a big role in the series.
be sure to pay attention to Jeor Mormont (the guy helping danyreus) and Sandor Clegane (the Hound, Joffrey’s bodyguard with half his face burned) they stay in the series a LONG time. and i’ve read all the books at least twice, Tyrion and Jaime are still two of my top five fave characters
Eddard “Ned” Stark’s late sister, Lyanna, is not a/the “former queen”. She was betrothed to Robert Baratheon before he became king. She was abducted by Rhaegar Targaryen (brother of Viserys and Daenerys) and died during the abduction. This was obviously a major event that had many repercussions to the story you are seeing today.
It is obviously a much longer and evolved story than what I have said above but I’ll let you look that up yourself or better yet read the series.
You are to force, the reply many people