Joffrey Must Die: Six Ways to Kill the King
4) Ser Barristan Selmy teaches Joffrey how to respect one’s elders
After the death of King Robert, one of Joffrey’s first moves was the dismiss Selmy from his position as head of the Kingsguard. OK, technically it was Cersei who dismissed him, but Joffrey was the one sitting next to her being a little piece of shit. Since the Kingsguard are supposed to serve for life (and Joffrey wears ‘smug’ like a Leatherface mask), this is already a huge insult.
Anyway, I’m not sure what became of Selmy after his less-than-honorable discharge, but I think he’s still kicking around Westeros somewhere. He probably still has a part to play in the overall narrative, and he must hold a grudge against the Lannisters—Joffrey and Jaime in particular. We already know Selmy’s a great warrior (despite his age), and I wouldn’t mind watching him teach that towheaded ingrate some respect for his elders.
5) Arya + Nymeria (Arya’s direwolf) = double the vengeance
Thanks to Joffrey being a pussy, Nymeria (Arya’s direwolf) was chased into exile, and her sister (Lady) was wrongly executed. With Arya headed up north lately, I have a funny feeling she might get reunited with her direwolf along the way, though I’m not sure in what capacity. Arya’s got revenge on the brain, no doubt, and direwolves know evil when they smell it; put those two alone in a room with Joffrey, and that miserable little troll wouldn’t stand a chance.
6) Jaime Lannister looks out for number one
Yeah, yeah, it’s the kid’s own damn father, but Jaime doesn’t seem particularly fond of his offspring. Maybe that part’s just me. Still, he definitely has no qualms with killing children on a whim. And with as shitty of a ruler as Joffrey’s shaping up to be, it’s not hard to imagine a scenario where the young king’s death would benefit the remaining relatives. I know the Lannister family is big on loyalty and debt payments and whatnot, but what would happen if the Starks offered them Jaime’s life in exchange for Joffrey’s? Or if Joffrey went insane with power (as he’s pretty much in the middle of doing) and Jaime was somehow the one who had to put him down? He’s the Kingslayer, after all, and that would make for some pretty good poetry…
Please, no book spoilers in the comments!
Gendry actually has no claim to the throne. The only reason they killed the Bastards is they look so much like Robert and Joffrey et al. look nothing like him. Hence if Stannis got a hold of the bastards it would be more evidence that Joffrey is a Bastard.
To clarify further, the only time Bastards can have a claim is if their Father or someone in power(Brother who is a King perhaps) legitimizes them
If only there was some book or something where this story was written in advance….oh wait…
Personally, I am rooting for Sansa pulling the trigger on good old Joff-joff.
Hmmmmm. Well I’ve seen the future and I know how he might possibly die….or i just read the books.
I have read all the books and I fucking love hearing the theories that people come up with. These books have been a huge part of my life for years and it is so exciting to see how much the tv show is captivating people. George RR Martin is an epic story teller (I would put him up there with Homer).
And even though I know what happens I wish all of these things could be true at the same time. Joffrey death pile! Woo!
I only just last night realized where I recognize the HBO Joffrey from. He was the little boy in Batman Begins who tells Batman that “none of his friends believe him.”
haven’t read the books… gotta say my favorite scenarios all along have been either Sansa or Arya (+ direwolf for bonus points on the kill) doing the deed. I leaned toward Arya just because i love her character, but perhaps Sansa doing the deed would be better to make her more like-able. regardless… as long as Joffrey dies (preferably slowly and painfully), I’ll be happy. He’s probably my most hated character, though in a good way, ever in a tv series (although E.B. Farnum from Deadwood is close… that little sniveling pathetic rat of a man)
It’s entertaining seeing how far off your guesses are as to what might happen. At the same time it reminds me why I loved these books, most of the characters are not one dimensional and characters that you may like or hate right now you may empathize with differently as the story progresses.
I actually read the books after watching season one and I have to say that it has made me love watching the show even more. I was worried that knowing what might happen would spoil it but instead it has given me even more appreciation for most of the characters.
@Jason
OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT. Wow.
As much as I love any of your GoT related posts, it seems to me that you’re just asking for spoilers considering many of us have read the first five novels and know the exact answers to your ponderings. Its a dangerous path friendo!
I love reading posts like this. Since I read the books, I am deprived of the chance to guess at what is going to happen. I have a buddy who didn’t read the books, and when we talk about the show all I can tell him is just wait til you see what happens.
Basically, you can’t even imagine all the crazy stuff that is gonna go down.
@Drose
A dangerous path, indeed! Luckily, I don’t care that much about spoilers (though I try to respect others that do); I appreciate the shock value of a good plot twist or unexpected character death, but my favorite shows have plenty more to offer that keep me coming back. Plus it’s hard to write articles like this for the internet with my ears plugged and eyes closed. 😉
I’ve only read the first book so far, and after season 2 of the show I plan on re-reading it and delving into the rest of the series. Until then, I’m giving myself free reign to speculate, baby! Bubblegum for the brain, if you will.
Im pretty sure he is in another Christian bale Movie called “regin of fire” he is very young there and you only see him for a few seconds but i think ist him.
the ghost of ned stark kills him!
very interesting theories! as one already stated, way off! read all the novels and you will be shortly surprised! oh, jamie does in fact actually love his kids by his sister. he does put his family first and foremost. and that does extend to tyrion, cersei, etc……. he does have some redeeming characteristics that will be displayed in later shows.
how is dance with dragons? waiting for it in paperback.
To everybody who’s inquiringg about his filmography: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0322416/
Although it might take you longer to get there than you want, “choice #7” is even better still.
The truth is even better, and I read that chapter just to put a smile on my face. Ahhh, the karma.
Also, Jaime Lannister? Not as much of an a$$hole as he appears.
Barristan Selmy? He’s kicking around…
Somewhere.
I want a dragon to eat him.
It would be aawesome if his family did it julius style. Stabbed by closest members harsh.
Ros comes back from the dead with Ned and they conspire to pump him full of arrowas and remove his head