The Fable 2 Journal: Day 4

You know, it’s more rewarding than my actual job.

(Read Journal #1 here)

Well, I’m about 10 or so hours deep into Fable 2, and I haven’t beaten it yet, which is a pretty good sign. I think I’m right on the cusp however, as I’ve been told to finish up all my business on the mainland before heading out to sea to kill what’s-his-face who threw me off a roof a decade ago. I’ve been so busy blacksmithing and sacrificing townsfolk, I’d forgotten all about that little incident.

So, how’s it going then? Well, I’m pleased to say I’m still enjoying myself. I’m finding I’m relishing in many of the non-combat aspects of the game like having a job, making bank, and buying up all businesses in the land to make even more bank.

Other reviewers like Yahtzee may dismiss these kinds of tasks as trivial and boring, but there’s a reason tower defense flash games are popular, sometimes people like tedium and mindless repetition. Plus it’s kind of cool to be able to bartend for a night and earn enough to buy the bar you work at.

But one Yahtzee-trashed aspect I do believe is mildly retarded is the whole marriage system carried over from the previous. There’s just no point to it. At least working earns you money, but a family? They suck away time and resources, and make me question my future goals in real life.

My wife constantly nags me while I’m out questing that I need to come back and buy her something, and on rare occasions @#$% her, but without any Hot Coffee type minigame, it seems that through Fable 2, Peter Molyneux has made sex into a dull and annoying activity. Impressive! I lasted about an in-game month with my wife before I stopped trying to meet her needs, which prompted her to quickly divorce me and leave the country. Damn, and I was just going to sacrifice her to the Temple of Shadows too…

And yes, I’m an evil character like I said, but honestly the morality system in this game is beyond bizarre. I can slay an entire town, orphaning all the unkillable children, but ten minutes later I can be the coolest guy in the realm if I’m able to hold a fart for 10 seconds.

Yes, the “Kill Everything” button from the original is still in working order.

But back to the actual core of the game, fighting. The hack and slash aspects are better than rival games, (mainly, Oblivion), although some more combos would be especially useful for variety in combat.

No one ever wanted to bother with archery in the original games, but the inclusions of guns in this game piqued my interest. And since that decision to invest my skill points in that regard, I’m still finding it hilarious that it’s the middle ages and I’m running around blowing bandits’ heads off with a shotgun.

The upgradable aiming system however, is borderline useless, and plays like a bad version of Duck Hunt. First person aiming is great, but it’s usually helpful to, you know, be mobile while doing it as to not be swarmed by a mob enemies who aren’t comfortable swinging a sword at you while standing perfectly still 20 feet away.

The magic system is still frustrating and complete unintuitive. I still have no idea how to quickly change between spells, and find that I just need to pick one and roll with it, FOREVER. I was trying to give lesser used skills like the “Blades” and “Tornado” (or whatever it’s called), but after being annoyed with how useless they all were, I just pumped everything into Time Travel and Lightning just like I did in the original and now it’s quite literally impossible to die unless I accidentally fall asleep at the controller while a Balverine is gnawing on my nuts.

Also, I’m not particularly pleased I can count all the different types of enemies on two hands, you would think for how rich the world is, a little more thought could have been put into the creatures and baddies you face. There’s the bug, the gnome, the bandit, the wild animal, the ghost and the big boss creature. That’s it. Apparently Fable 2 decided to invest its creativity skill points elsewhere. Like thinking up 10,000 different expressions that no one would every conceive of using. The chicken dance? Sigh.

The game is still exceptionally linear, which I can sort of understand, but I think Fable should seriously consider a broader, more literal open world format. If Fable‘s combat system combined with Oblivion‘s open-wordness and ease of spell use, we just might be approaching the perfect action RPG.

Lastly, my dog is still awesome. I named him Chips. Alright, time to go get on this boat and see this anti-climactic ending I’ve heard so much about.