A Tale of Two Trailers: Predators vs. Grown Ups

You can’t always tell whether or not a movie is going to be good based on its trailer and marketing, but I think I have a pretty good idea about two movies coming out this summer: Predators and Grown Ups.  The only thing these movies have in common, I suppose, is that I am part of each of their target demographics.  Based on its trailer and marketing, I have high hopes for Predators – but I’ve been totally fooled before, like when I saw a midnight screening of Terminator Salvation.  Grown Ups, on the others hand, is going to be as generic and awful as a comedy can be and, to me, is the epitome of what’s wrong with many movies today.  Again, I could be totally wrong – especially about Predators – but I would bet the house that Grown Ups is cinematic torture.

Here’s the trailer for Predators:

Now, I don’t know about you, but I think this looks pretty good.  Sure, it could just be a very well-cut trailer, but with what I’ve read and who’s involved, I am optimistic about this movie.  First off, I like who’s involved.  I generally enjoy most of Robert Rodriguez’s stuff – especially Sin City and From Dusk Till Dawn – and even though he’s not directing, his oversight and influence is probably a good thing.  After all, he did produce those movies, too.  He’s not a Bruckheimer, that’s for sure.

I’m also optimistic about Predators because of the cast.  There will never be another Arnold Schwarzenegger, so there’s really no point in trying to replace him.  Besides, I’d take a good actor who tries to bulk up and get in shape over a meathead who tries to act every day of the week.  Adrien Brody is a good actor, and from what I’ve read, he’s taking this role very seriously.  He’s been lifting weights – he certainly looks bigger – and has made himself crazy trying to get inside the mind of a dangerous man who finds himself being hunted.  Maybe Adrien Brody doesn’t scream “action star,” but would you prefer John Cena of Channing Tatum?  The rest of the cast seems fine, too, as I’ve been a Lawrence Fishburne fan since Boyz N The Hood, and I think Topher Grace is pretty decent, too.  Throw in Danny Trejo and it’s a solid cast for sure.

I’ve always been partial to the original Predator movie, as well as a lot of the comics published by Dark Horse.  Predator 2 was fine; it did a decent job of creating a new mythology.  But the AvP movies were atrocious.  This new movie – Predators – looks a lot like the first film and seems to have embraced everything that made it great: the atmosphere and the idea of total bad asses being hunted.  I know it first appeared in the comics, but I always felt like the “Predalien” was the worst kind of shark-jumping fridge-nuking.  It’s stupid, period.  But it doesn’t look like there will be any gimmicks in Predators, as any creatures we see will not be born from some half-baked fan fiction, but rather, from the Predators’ home planet, something Predator fans have been excited to see for literally decades.

There isn’t a lot of cross-promotion for Predators – I haven’t seen any – and it looks like Rodriguez and company are confident enough in this movie to let it speak for itself.  Again, I could be totally off on this one, but I think Predators is going to be pretty damn good.

The polar opposite of Predators, at least in terms of marketing, is Grown Ups.  Here’s the trailer:

*Sigh*  It’s not disappointing that a comedy looks terrible; it’s disappointing that a comedy starring some of the funniest people on Earth looks terrible.  Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised, as Adam Sandler & Co. have spent more time making silly family movies for boatloads of cash as opposed to raunchy, R-rated comedies.  And this doesn’t make these guys bad people by any means – they’re working for a living, so why not make it so that their great-grandchildren never have to work?  So what’s my problem?  Lost potential.

If you had assembled Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade, and even Rob Schneider for a comedy in the mid-90s, I would have been counting down the days until its release.  Sandler’s early movies – Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore – are amongst the funniest I’ve ever seen, Spade was almost always funny – especially in Tommy Boy – and Chris Rock, too.  Kevin James is sort of the outsider to the SNL alum, but he’s fine, too.  So instead of bringing all these guys together to make an outlandish, legendarily hilarious comedy, we get a generic, vanilla, predictable, safe comedy.  The movie is not rated-R, so what you see in the trailer is likely what you’re going to get in the movie.  It’s 2010, and we are watching pee in the pool jokes and fat guys falling down jokes.  Amazing.

Of course, since this movie can’t stand on its own, Columbia pictures has shoved this down our throats.  I can’t watch the NBA Finals without a barrage of previews and clips of Sandler and the boys sitting around talking about basketball.  In fact, even during the game itself, I can’t escape – Chris Rock, sitting with Spade and Sandler, was being interviewed during the game.  And I mean literally during the game, like when there was action on the court.

It’s really a shame, because this represents, to me, all that is wrong with Hollywood: some of the funniest comedic actors getting together not to make people laugh, but to promote the hell out of a crappy movie and walk away with tons of cash.  Again, I don’t blame them, but you have to think in terms of opportunity cost – there will never be a funny movie again featuring the brilliant SNL alum from the mid-90s.  One last beef – why make Grown Ups PG-13?  Either make it for kids or make it for adults.  The only thing a PG-13 rating does is let me know that this movie isn’t for families and at the same time isn’t going to be funny – because it’s not like all the funny, dirty parts had to be left out of the trailer.

Maybe I’m looking way too into this, and maybe I’ll be totally wrong with regard to each movie – it certainly won’t be the first time.  But I’m pretty confident that Predators will be at worst decent, while Grown Ups is something I am going to avoid at all costs.  Paul, you can review the latter movie.