Spartacus Draws Final Breath In War of the Damned


As told in the tongue of the show itself.

My fast is broken. For too long, eyes have been far removed from tales of Spartacus and gladiator brothers. My mind was diverted with thoughts Doctors traveling space and time, or Vikings pillaging lands far from sight. But at last my gaze returns to behold the glory of final bloody contest as Spartacus removes himself from our televisions once and for all. So remove cock from ass and join me in celebrating his final victory as I move thoughts from mind to words on page.

Spartacus has always appeared to be a show absent reason and sense, embracing spectacle of blood and sex like none before it. The latter is true, the former a grievous lie. Despite slavish devotion to carnage and mayhem, the show and the man are not the brute they appear.

In seasons past, Spartacus was gladiator upon sand, rebel upon streets. Now here he stands general upon battlefield, with Rome trembling before him. Actor Liam McIntyre acquired job none would envy. Replacing beloved predecessor Andy Whitfield, struck from earth too soon by the sinister grip of cancer. But McIntyre rises to the occasion, bringing glory to character and program alike. No replacement of lead has ever stood so successful, spanning all of history.


By War of the Damned, many foes and friends of Spartacus have been stricken from earth, laid deep in ground by way of sword or spear. A small wonder enough cast still stands to carry on, and near end of final battle, even fewer still remain.

New enemy greets old heroes, Crassus, Roman general of infinite wealth and greater savagery. Joined with him beloved son, Tiberius and trusted friend, Caesar, meant to bring ruin to the Bringer of Rain. Spartacus must prove himself a god of more than the arena, and become near Ares himself with strategy of war ever present in mind.

Spartacus, like show in which he exists, is much smarter than he might appear. A game of wit and swords ensues, both men raining blows upon the other. Slow-motion camera is ever present, blood pours like ocean sweeping over earth. Dialogue, one constant scream.

Spartacus represents basest instincts of mortal man. Thirst for violence, equal desire for pleasure.  In truth, the program remains more than simple bloodbath or brothel. Themes of freedom and brotherhood stand stronger than outpouring of blood and tits.

Spartacus: 3

Or some combination of the two.

War is not the place for Spartacus, and it does stand true that program was perhaps stirred more passion when back on sands of arena. Infinite slaughter of countless, nameless Roman foes grows tiresome during this War of the Damned. Easy to miss true contest, that of legendary names standing upon sands, seeking glory and freedom. War brings more blood, yet same impact is not felt as with past memories.

Ending brings sorrow, little light. As Spartacus’ tale is based in historical truths, crushing victory of Rome must elude him onscreen as well. Hated foes yet live at curtains close, and many friends slaughtered before our eyes, ones long known for the span of years. Spartacus himself must fall, though his memory lives on throughout history as evidenced by these words gathered to page here today.

In age of “intelligent” programs on rival channels, Spartacus is often far from mind when recounting quality entertainment. But this is grievous error. Through blood and grime, his tale stands to delight the senses, yet move the heart as well. Few others create cast that feels as family. Fewer still know what they are, and what they are not. Spartacus gives no apology, holds nothing back. Spartacus drew shouts from viewer’s throat and fists raised into air, even when ass was firmly planted on living room couch.

Absent replacement for delightful mayhem, heart grows heavy. Live on, Spartacus. May other discover your tale for themselves, and draw equal pleasure from it.


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  1. Well done Paul. I want to talk in everyday conversation like they do on the show. Fantastic series. Liam Mcyntire really grew into Spartacus this final season.

    Agron said it best:

    ““One day Rome shall fade and crumble, yet you shall always be remembered.”

  2. Well played sir. Well played.

    Quality show. One that will no doubt be discovered over time on BluRay and DVD by those unfortunate enough to miss it first time around. Here’s hoping they go with that Ceasar spin off that was mooted.

  3. Jupiter’s cock! Apologies. The review was fun, but the first comment officially put my sides in orbit. Gone from Starz programming Spartacus and trusted comrades in battle may be, but their cocks indeed rage on.

  4. I’ve been waiting for you to remove cock from ass and pay tribute to the glorious end of Spartacus.

    You delivered in a way that would make Jupiter’s cock swell with pride!

    Gratitude to Starz for a legendary series.

  5. True words, i remember how the rage merge when Barro died at Spartacus´s sword. It was shocking to know how much empathic I develop for the characters… jupiter´s cook…

  6. Sorry gentlemen…

    Rome came to be by crushing barbarian armies underfoot through combined arms and superior tactics. The ONLY time we were given the opportunity to see the Romans fighting in true Roman style, was in the final episode of this series. This STRONGLY weakened the threat of Rome, and served to illuminate the veritable force fields about our heroes. It took 3 seasons to form a proper phalanx? Only the heroes of Spartacus’ armies were blooded in the arena, the rest were veritable rabble.

    Mannu Bennett’s Crixus was by far the stand-out star of the show, imho, followed by John Hannah’s Batiatus, and then Lucy Lawless, and on from there.

    I agree that Mr. McIntyre did an admirable job of replacing Mr. Whitfield, and I agree that this show was more than just screaming, leaping, slow motion, cg blood and tits.

    I just wish it had been more than what it was, and less what it settled on being.

  7. Very well written. Great job. I tell people all the time Spartacus was much more than sex and violence. You have written a perfect farewell. Gratitude.

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