Five Things The Walking Dead Should Fix When It Returns

I think we can all agree that The Walking Dead had a pretty fantastic season this time around. After a lackadaisical season two, the action has really picked up so far in the first half of season three, and it’s become the singular show I look forward to every week, now that Dexter is starting to annoy me.

That said, it’s far from perfect. It still needs some improvement in certain areas, and that’s why I’ve compiled this list of suggested fixes. It’s by no means comprehensive, so feel free to add your own. 

Guns Have Recoil

Oh my god, if I see one more gun fire without any semblance of recoil on this show, I’m going to lose it. It started early in this season when the gang was using all their weapons to clear out the prison. Not a single gun had recoil. Not sniper rifles, shotguns or .45 magnums. If you’ve shot ANY of those, you know they have some serious kick to them. But in the show, they just put little CGI gunfire bursts on the ends and call it a day. Even as someone who is far from a gun nut, this is really, really off-putting each time it occurs onscreen. Spring for some blanks people!

You Can Have More than One Black Guy Alive At Once

Seriously, this is getting ridiculous now. After doing nothing for two seasons, T-Dogg died, then was immediately replaced with a beefy black prisoner. Now barely a few episodes later, he’s dead and replaced by Tyrese. Due to his importance in the comic, I think he’ll stick around a while, but come on, it’s just so token-ish to have them trotted out one at a time like this.

We Don’t Always Need a Middle Aged White Woman to Hate

What is it with this show and making the one character everyone hates a middle-aged white woman? First it was Carol, who was super annoying with her asshat husband and once her daughter went missing. Then it shifted to Lori who was the center of the world’s most useless love triangle. Now that mantle falls to Andrea who is sleeping with the most horrible person on the show and completely oblivious to everything happening around her. Why does it always have to be the same demographic of character that’s annoying. See also Skyler in Breaking Bad and Betty in Mad Men. Maybe it’s an AMC thing.

Don’t Forget What You’ve Said Previously

This falls into a general “plot holes” category, but for instance, don’t have them say “he must have looked around the entire perimeter for openings” in reference to Rick’s search of the prison, and five episodes later show an enormous gaping hole blown in the back wall. Or don’t have characters use zombie guts to sneak past other zombies, then never, ever do that again for no reason.

Don’t Be Afraid to Kill Characters We Love

The Walking Dead has killed plenty of characters since season one, but few that audiences have actually loved. It’s taken the easy way out by killing people like Andrea’s sister, Sophia, Dale, Lori, T-Dogg and so on. Shane, for all his evilness, was the only one I felt the least bit bad about. Now what we have is the culling of the weak so only badasses like Rick, Daryl, Merle, Michonne and Tyrese are hanging around now. Even Carl is now a more badass version of himself. You don’t have to go full Game of Thrones on us, but killing people we love shouldn’t be off the table. But if it’s Daryl, you had better make it the best blaze of glory of all time.


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  1. I will burn AMC studios to the ground if they kill Daryl.

    I think it would work if they killed Glenn even though he is my second favorite. Hell, mix it up and kill Rick. I don’t care. But Norman Reedus owns this show. He leaves, I leave.

  2. That bugged me too about the gaping hole in the fence and fallen prison wall. I thought it was one of those flash forwards to the end of the episode – like an explosion had happened at the prison. I guess the perimeter he went around was that particular yard. Still a little irritating.

  3. 1) The perimeter Rick checked was for the front yard where they spent the night BEFORE they entered the prison. Completely different fences. He was checking that fence so they could go to bed, they’ve even mentioned several times that there are other parts of the prison they have yet to clean out.

    2) And as for never using zombie guts again? How do you think Michonne got to the prison in the first place?

    3) For all it’s worth, the tv series has for more or less stayed true to the comic, so when you say they shouldn’t be afraid to kill loved characters, you’re pretending that A) Tyrese is even a loved character for those who only watch the show B) that Dale wasn’t a likable character who they killed much earlier than in the comic C) That Shane, Andrea’s sister, and a few others were killed almost exactly as they were in the comics, and that they are following the source material, not taking the easy way out.

    Someone was reeeeally stretching to finish this article with more than a handful of weak points.

  4. In the comic there’s a suicide pact between Tyreese’s daughter and her boyfriend that goes awry, and in the teaser for the February ep’s Glen mentions something to Maggie about “getting away from all of this” or something. Considering the torment they endured I wouldn’t be surprised if they went with this but it[d be a real bum-out.

    I will seriously fuck someone up if they kill Daryl. Norman Reedus is a boss and if he doesn’t get a fuckton of kickass roles from this I will riot.

    Also is it possible that so far this show has had the most ridiculous increase in quality from one season to the next? I’m definitely gonna look into that when I watch it from the beginning (thanks New Year’s) but goddamn, it’s like they realized how stupid S2 was and are compensating now. I dig it.

  5. Man, people reeeeeaaaaaalllllyyyyy love Darryl. How they made an original character people love so much out of a complete hick with an evil racist brother (who also happens to be pretty cool in the villainous sense) when they couldn’t make a great existing character like Andrea into anything but a constant thorn in the viewer’s ass is beyond me. But good call on not being afraid to take the hillbilly heartthrob out. If anybody is safe, you don’t have a believable threat, and if you don’t have a believable threat, you don’t have a show here in my opinion. I don’t believe they’ll do it because the fans are so insane about Darryl, but in my mind that’s WHY they need to do it: to really knock everyone on their ass and get them feels.

  6. Some things that have bothered me about the series (though I haven’t read the graphic novel, so I don’t know the differences/omissions between the two.)

    – The virus is already in everyone and animates corpses. But what’s the difference then between getting bitten and getting a regular cut/injury?

    – Let’s say there’s something inside of a walker that prompts the activation of the virus which is why bites and scratches have an effect on a living person. If that were the case, then why wouldn’t having all those blood and guts that seep into wounds have the same affect as getting bitten? (Michonne had a bullet hole in her leg and had walker blood and guts pour all over it, and even goes so far as to place her dirty hand over her wound.)

    – If the virus only reactivates the brain stem down then having the rest of the brain destroyed would have little to no effect on the zombie/walker. Wouldn’t decapitation be a more effective way of dealing with a walker?

    – It’s all the women in this show that are blathering idiots, not just the middle aged ones…(But by far, Andrea, and yes, Michonne are the two biggest offenders.)

    In response to Rodimus:

    Rick and the crew had used zombie guts to avoid detection. Why haven’t THEY re-used that strategy? I could think of some reasons as to why not, but when it comes down to it it’s really the best option while traveling and exploring.

    Michonne had a pretty fail proof way of avoiding detection with her walker pets. But why hasn’t she taken the time out to do the same thing again? She’s skilled enough with a katana to be able to do it without much difficulty I would think.

    From what I’ve heard (and again, I have not read the graphic novels) neither Daryl nor Merle were in the source material. The show doesn’t always follow the source material and it wouldn’t be that far of a stretch to kill off a character to just throw a curve ball in there and make it someone that isn’t hated. (I really, really hated Dale…just as a side note)

  7. I don’t like how eager everyone is to cover themselves in zombie guts/blood. I cut myself on paper at least once a week. I’ll look in the mirror and see a cut that I have no idea how it got there. So why would I rip off a zombie arm by the bones? Bones can be sharp. None of those people wear gloves, they have cuts, even microscopic ones.

    What about the zombie headwater? Did all of the blood drain out? If that stuff hits your eye you say bye bye..

    BUT, that being said, as most movie/tv lovers know, if you take every plot hole and any fact that may be overlooked (aside that we are talking about zombie “facts” like they are real) into consideration then you aren’t going to enjoy the show.

  8. Daryl needs to get rid of the motorcycle. Here’s why:

    1. Its loud. If the sound of gunfire draws zombies, I would think the pipes on that chopper would do the same.

    2. Its unsafe. I know he’s a badass, and likes to maintain the image, but taking a tumble on that thing could mean his death. Aside from the fact that there are no more hospitals or ambulances, he never even wears a helmet.

    3. It offers almost no ability to carry supplies, and only one other passenger (which only places that passenger in the same danger as mentioned in #2).

    4. If he needs to plow through a horde of zombies in the road, he’s screwed. Even an old VW beetle would probably be able to run down a handful of walkers, but one clip on that motorcycle, and he’s down.

    They’ve been on the run for about a year, right?. I think in that amount of time, one of the characters would’ve come to at least ONE of the realizations I’ve mentioned above, and pointed it out to Daryl. Again, I understand that the chopper compliments his badass image, but at what point should somebody trade in their rebelliousness for practicality?

    I mean, if he MUST have a motorcycle, it should at least be a dirtbike of some kind – nimble and more capable of taking on rough terrain. But an chopper with ape hangers? Honestly???

    The show usually does a pretty decent job of realistically depicting how people would survive and adapt in a zombie apocalypse, so every time I see him on that hog, I yell at the TV.

    Ok, I’m done.

  9. Hey, I’m *almost* a real life scientist (as in, in 2 months I should have my Ph.D.) who studies proteins.
    Here’s a quick overview of my theory about zombification:

    Protein diseases are becoming more and more prevalent in modern medicine. You’re probably familiar with more widespread ones like Alzheimer’s and Mad Cow, and other related diseases. The way a lot of these diseases kill people is by aggregating protein within the brain, forming cavities and clots. Certain effects such as dementia, paralysis, memory loss, cognitive impairment, and schizophrenia may be the result of such brain damaging buildups. Protein aggregates often form when misfolded proteins enter the cerebral-spinal fluid by crossing the blood brain barrier, and operate on native proteins, disrupting their structure formation and causing a proliferation of the misfolded state.

    Prion proteins responsible for mad cow disease persist in contaminated meat, even after cooking. Heating a protein usually disrupts its stable, folded structure (think about cooking eggs or whipping cream). Since these proteins don’t have a stable structure to begin with, heating doesn’t really eliminate them.

    If the zombie disease is a protein based disease, it gains numerous advantages over typical viral and bacterial diseases. 1) Contaminated meat can still spread the disease, which is why you can’t eat zombies.
    2) Protein diseases usually don’t have specific target organisms or genomes that they can infect, unlike many viruses. They can infect ANY LIVING THING
    3) There is very little that an immune response can do to combat a protein disease. Viruses and bacteria possess specific markers that can be targeted by the immune system.
    4) they can pass the blood-brain barrier, immediately affecting the most important organ in the human body.

    Zombies are single purpose, instinctively simple, mindless drones. Sound like something’s affecting their brain?

    A possible theory about how people can be infected but not yet a zombie could be that the disease is normally tagged with a complex carbohydrate group, which causes it to be dormant. Maybe salivary enzymes cleave this carbohydrate and thus activate the protein. (Enzymes found in your mouth actually do digest carbohydrates) So, zombie bites may catalyze the activation of the zombie disease, while normal blood contact won’t.

    Now I gotta get back to my real research. 😛

  10. This is the thing that has always bugged me about post apocalyptic movies and the like…

    You wouldn’t have these units consisting of people from different backgrounds; specifically different racial, ethnic, and regional groups.

    When the lights go down, people break down along the most basic bonds. This is why ethnic cleansing was so prevalent in Africa, Bosnia, pretty much all of human freaking history.

    During the Black Plague, pretty much anyone who was not part of the dominate social group was either wiped out or driven away (the Jews, Moors, Christian minorities). I am always amazed how these films and TV shows depict people still in multi-cultural and racial groups when in reality, that wouldn’t happen at all. Heck… for the most part we don’t end up with that without a major social disruption event.

    Oh crap…I realize I sound really racist. I swear I am not. I think I even have a white friend!

  11. @diablo

    I think you’re really underestamating people as a whole. Also you make it out like these people have a choice in who they’re ending up with in an apocalypse.

  12. My friends think I’m joking when I talk about killing off one black guy to introduce another, as soon as Tyresse came on screen, I said “The prisoner is dead” and sure enough…he dies. LOL

  13. @Tomsense76

    I think others have explained it before as the bite from a zombie (rotting teeth/flesh) amplifies infection and kills you, then reanimate. Where as a normal cut could be clean of infection and not kill you.

  14. Yeah, there was more action than in season 2, which royally sucked balls. Nevertheless, the writing is still garbage (imo). It’s just one cliche after another… and to be honest… it feels like it was written by a combination of high school kids and studio executives.

    By the time it gets back on TV, I doubt I will have any interest in watching it again. Firing Frank Darabont was one of the stupidest decisions in the history of TV.

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