Four Movies So Bad, They’re Good
Birdemic
And this was it, people. The bad film that put a nail in the “liking bad films” coffin for me. This film is such a massive misstep in filmmaking, that to even talk about it is sucking intelligent thoughts out of my head, and replacing them with bad flash animations of bird clip art.
You think I am exaggerating? Oh really?
httpv://youtu.be/LrxZblVUkMU
Told you.
But to understand, it takes a good 45 minutes to get to the actual bird attacks. And those forty five minutes are filled with acting like this:
httpv://youtu.be/3cVtUnGPl5c
The lead actor in this film makes your most awkward friend seem as smooth as Johnny Depp.
And this film has what very well may be the most awkward dancing scene ever put on film, and most dancing scenes are awkward, so imagine just how awkward it is.
Well here, see for yourself:
httpv://youtu.be/cvM3ymUKrn8
I deliberately found a clip with out of sync audio, to make it all even more crappier. You can even see the actors making fun of the scene IN the scene.
I will admit this, though. That scene you just saw, with that song: Just Hanging Out With My Family. Yeah, I love that scene and I love that singer. His name is Damien Carter and he is just so terribly awesome that he shoots this movie from the stratosphere into the stars. I know I bring up Tim and Eric a lot, and I am about to again, because Damien Carter seems like a Tim and Eric character to me.
Side note: He got rather famous (?) as a result of this moment in the film, and you can book him for parties and weddings and such.
If I ever get married, I already told my lady fair that Damien Carter WILL be playing Hanging Out With My Family.
See, THAT is how much I adore bad films.
Every single thing about them.
But this film, Birdemic, is the movie that peaked my love for bad films, and since then, nothing has compared, to the point where I stopped looking.
While I was researching this piece, though, I discovered that Birdemic director James Nguyen has begun to work on the sequel: Birdemic 2: The Ressurection. And I honestly don’t think I have ever been more excited about an inevtiable piece of crap in my life.
Oh, and it is in 3D.
Yes, this is actually happening. Jesus IS magic!
Honorable Mentions:
Wicker Man (remake): Nic Cage has so many terribly amazing moments in this movie, it is hard to pick just one. Every one goes with “NOT THE BEES?!!” moment at the end of the film, but I much prefer when he asks the woman if they have a shark in the burlap bag they are carrying. Because, you know, so many woman tote around bags with sharks.
Plan 9 From Outer Space: Ed Wood is the master of films that are so bad they are good, and this is his masterpiece.
Manos: The Hands of Fate: This movie was made on a bet. That is not a joke, look it up. Torgo, the weird secondary character, owns part of my heart.
Showgirls: I am sorry, but this movie, like most Paul Verhoeven movies, is a trip. Sloppy sex, crappy dancing, and Saved By The Bell vah-jay-jay. Sign me up.
Road House: Yeah, I said it. Swayze for life.
httpv://youtu.be/UTYKoNoNXkA
Swayze throat removal services did fairly well its first day.
Every single movie on the SyFy network. Seriously, if that networked churned out any more hilariously crappy films than they already do, I would think they were related to Dino De Laurentiis. No one is going to get that reference, but it is astute and witty, trust me.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space: Now THIS is the best worst movie, ever.
For the win.
Huge fan of the Killer Klowns
Yes, Remy, Yes. Absolutely KKOS.
“Roadhouse” is one of my wife’s favorite films. Myself, I just can’t get past the entire concept of philosophers getting a gig a bouncers in some jerkwater dive. Unless you want to get into that whole Grasshopper trope, which I don’t see happening her. Truly an awful movie, imho
Am I counting wrong here? I am only seeing 4 films here.
“the Room” is a must watch.
Before I got into bad/good movies, I tried to take action movies seriously. I was a big action movie fan my entire life, but I actually didn’t like Arnold’s prime film “Commando” because I couldn’t believe how absurd most of it was. Then my friends introduced me to a little movie called “Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki” (can’t recommend this movie enough, GO SEE IT), and a new perspective on film swept over me.
For anyone that’s into the blaxpoitation films of the 70’s, “Black Dynamite” with Michael Jai White and Tommy Davidson is a hilarious parody/tribute to that sub-genre of film.
Oh and I would’ve put Toxic Avenger on this list. Also, “Death Race 2000” with Stallone (right before he did Rocky) is another hilarious heap of trash.
The only problem with the Five Movies So Bad, They’re Good list is that I for the life of me can only count four listed before the Honorable Mentions…so I guess the fifth movie is so bad and good at the same time that it is a secret ?
Adventures of Johnny Tao. Such a good bad movie.
Teen Witch….I still know most of the songs by heart…I am not ashamed
Wow, there is only four movies on this list, huh? I never go back and edit lists after they are published. BUT, had to here. Have no idea how I did that, but thanks for the heads up, guys. Wow, I am doofus.
“Nilbog! It’s goblin spelled backwards!!”
SHARK ATTACK 3!!!!!!! There’s a come on so WTF awesome that it has become known simply as “The Line”. It used to be a grave breach of internet etiquette to spoil that particular moment by repeating it. Also, it has the most insane laugh until it hurts climax I’ve ever seen. This is a single minute of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nzd0R_OeOc
You’re baiting me to sound like an asshole, but props for the De Laurentiis shout-out. Barbarella is one of the greatest movies of all time. A machine made of vibrators that you play like an organ! Pun intended.
I think for the sake of argument (or discussion) you need a working definition of “a movie that’s so bad it’s good.” To me that means, bad: as in low budget, sub-par acting, silly story line, poor direction, or any combination of those, and good: as in still ends up being entertaining despite those obstacles. And I would differentiate those films from ones that were intentionally made to be bad or campy. So, I would agree with Plan 9, Birdemic, The Room, Showgirls and even Roadhouse, but not with Killer Klowns or any of the Syfy movies. I mean, you can say My Name is Bruce is bad (I don’t think it is but I could see why someone would say that) but he wasn’t trying to make Citizen Kane either. On the other hand, Ed Wood was, and I’m sure Patrick Swazye took Roadhouse pretty seriously at the time. Does that make sense?
@Sara C, ah, so few appreciate the man for the impact he truly had. Haha.
@ John V, That is a solid point. I guess I made the term a bit more general for the piece, but I can definitely see the dividing line between those movies. Well thought out.
No Dolomite? That shit is epic. Basically anything with Rudy Ray Moore.
They do a midnight showing of The Room one the first Friday of every month at one of the local theatres where I live. I have honestly never had a better movie experience in my life. My voice was ruined afterwards from laughing so hard, and yelling at the screen along with everyone else in the theatre. Just don’t forget to bring some plastic spoons.
Birdemic is the quintessential bad movie for me. We started a bad movie appreciation club and this has never been topped. We even did shark night and watched both Shark attack 3 and Sharks in Venice.
Some other classics which are fairly unknown are Earth Girls are Easy (Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum and Jim Carrey), and Cool as Ice (Vanilla Ice’s movie).
Gotta love Wicker Man though. One of my personal favourites. Seeing Nick Cage punch out a bunch of women in a bear suit is gold.
This might be the best list you’ve ever done. I fully expected to have to recommend Birdemic or Troll 2. Very happy to see them included. You should check out the Toxic Avenger as well.
aw man, I can’t believe you didn’t put Thankskilling anywhere on this list! THAT is the worst movie I’ve ever seen, I was barely able to finish it. It’s about an evil killer turkey…who also talks. It’s comedy gold if you watch it with a friend! I haven’t checked recently but it was streaming on Netflix for a while.
Screw all of these movies except KKOS!
I’m sorry, but Wishmaster 2 stomps all of those movies for wildly entertaining craptacularity.
“Wish granted”
i actually OWN killer klowns from outer space……i think basket case and jack frost(not mike keaton but the serial killer snowman)should get honorable mentions.
ohhhhhhhhh!!!!! thankskilling!!!!! yes. another classic i watched that and “teeth” in the same night. teeth is about a vagina. with teeth. that bites people.
Finding a gem of a bad movie among the zero budget, nameless acted films are easy. Don’t get me wrong, I have watched all of these dozens and dozens of times, but they aren’t really “bad” movies given their budgets or their talent pool. These films are pretty much destine to suck.
No…you want bad…here are my top two. “Wicker Man: The scene chewing”. Simply watch this film, while paying attention to the dialogue is enough to cause an aneurism from laughter. Nicholas Cage spends an entire film checking to see if his cell phone still doesn’t work on a tiny remote island, all the while harassing the local cult and listening to his love interest(?) who perhaps is a moderate functioning coma patient or at least the character was played as such. Its the remake no one asked for, but can’t be denied.
The other film answers the question “What would Ed Wood do with a $200 million budget and a cult backing it”. I speak of course of “Battlefield Earth” which is by far the most batshit retarded, big money film every created. I can’t even think of my favorite scene…is it Johnny Goodboy walking into a glass window which is so filthy the audience can’t see through it but we are supposed to believe that the character, who has never seen glass, would instinctively ignore reality…or is it the triumph at the end where cavemen learn how to fly 200 year old Harrier Jets to defeat the alien force that originally enslaved the world in two and a half minutes. My brain leaks out of my right ear just thinking of that. What is insane, besides the amount of money spent, is that the cast is pretty damn good. The movie is just a massive train wreck; from story and dialogue, to the nauseating cinematography that should get credit for discovering the shaky cam unintentionally.
Birdemic, for all its craziness, at least has an excuse…zero money and an insane director/writer/backer.
@Blair: Earth Girls Are Easy. Yes. Excellent good-bad movie. You forgot to mention that Damon Wayans is in it too, though.
@Blair, The Room midnight shows are some of the best things ever, hands down. Good call on Earth Girls Are Easy. Furry aliens for the win. Wicker is terribly amazing. I agree, but am saving my sentiments on that film for my future Nic Cage: Best to Worst list.
@uncoolaidman, thank you very much. Honestly, I had to MAKE myself stop talking about The Room. I forgot how magically bad that film was until I started watching scenes again to do this list.
@phil, have not seen Thankskilling but definitely will now. Talked to Eli Roth once in depth about him doing his Thanksgiving grindhouse film so I already know I will love that movie.
@amberrose, how could you leave Kanye for Wiz Kalifa? Wiz is legit, but Kanye is wonderfully manic.
@kong, Wishmaster 1 was enough for me, but you guys rarely steer me wrong, so I will check it out.
@Diablo, agreed and agreed, actually. Will have more to say about Wicker Man soon, but you guys seemed to not notice Wicker Man is on here. I specifically mention the shark scene…
@Charlie, more cred points for truly knowing your stuff, your running tally is 10,000.
Taking into account the acting, the “plot”, the special effects, the editing, the dialogue – all of it – for me the worst part of Birdemic was how damn preachy it was.
Glad you mentioned Manos. I was thinking that throughout the article that it should be in there, somewhere. But I definitely think the movies you picked were worse. I wouldn’t know if I could get through those! (although, without MST3K’s help, I probably wouldn’t have gotten through Manos either.)
A couple of comments:
Yes, I wouldn’t scream either if the flesh was being dissolved off my hands in a vat of acid
And regarding Birdemic: Was that movie seriously not shot in someone’s backyard with their camcorder? Cuz it sure as hell looks like it. o_O
“Just photoshop the birds in. TRUST ME.”
You’re missing a great terrible movie!
Rocky horror!!!!!!!!!
Worst movie ever!
Dude, you missed out on Transmorphers. Bad BAD acting, horrible sets, terrible FX, and the nail in the coffin? Audio was a full half second slower than the video. The. WHOLE. MOVIE.
Watch any other movie bad or good, then watch this one. It’s the worst. It’s so bad, it has no chance at being liked.
I use the disc as a coaster now. I couldn’t return, sell it or give it to anybody else for fear that I’d just get it back somehow. I also wouldn’t subject anybody to that crime of a movie.