by Remy Carreiro

(To truly respect this piece, I need the reader to forget This Means War is about to be in theaters. He made ONE cheesy romantic comedy, and we have to immediately forgive him and pretend it didn’t happen or this piece won’t work. Please, trust us. He is a brilliant actor. We can prove it to you.)

Christopher Nolan is a casting genius. Some people may argue that, some may agree. But I am not leaving it open for debate. I am TELLING you. When he cast Heath Ledger as The Joker, you could hear the collective sighs of fanboys all the world over, groaning in disapproval. I can say that because I was one of them. But upon viewing that film, and moreover, that character, I was more floored than I had been in some time by his performance. He scared me. He unsettled me. He intrigued me. He effortlessly swallowed the scenery in every moment he was in. Actors disappeared around him. And after that film, everyone was talking about his run as The Joker. Christopher Nolan knew this would be a result of this performance. He had written his Joker that way. He had us in his hand the whole time.

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In celebration of…err wait, celebration isn’t the right word. In mourning of The Phantom Menace’s 3D re-release this week, here’s a set of posters that shows how the film could have gone if anyone with proper artistic sensibilities had been involved.

They’re from Travis English, and show nearly all of the major characters from the new trilogy. Surprisingly missing is Anakin himself, but as boy version and adult version were two of the most annoying movie characters in history, it’s probably best we just forget about him, even if the entire series is about him.

UPDATE: Nevermind, found Anakin and a few more. Thankfully, still no sign of Jar-Jar.

See the gallery below:

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I’m not sure how I never mentioned this movie but boy was that a mistake.  When you’re talking cheesy 80s Sylvester Stallone movies Over The Top should definitely be a top five choice.   Here’s a quick little synopsis in case you haven’t seen the film.

Lincoln Hawk (Stallone) is a struggling trucker who’s trying to rebuild his life. After the death of his wife, he tries to make amends with his son who he left behind years earlier. Upon their first meeting, his son doesn’t think too highly of him until he enters the nation-wide arm wrestling competition in Las Vegas.

Ah and let’s not forget that his son was attending military school and is a complete brat.   And another thing.  His name is Lincoln Hawk!  I mean come on.  How awesome is that?  The movie is filled with ridiculous lines, scenes, and of course funny faces because of the arm wrestling.

Let’s just say you will be highly entertained as you might from seeing a cheesy Arnold Schwarzenegger film when Arnie was ginormous.  Anyway, the trailer is after the jump…..

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From artist Robert Shane comes this imagined encounter between a young Darth Maul on his first mission for his new emperor. In a galaxy far away an alien infestation threatens to spread, and he must quell it before it does so.

I know lightsabers are wicked, particularly double sided ones, but that’s a hell of a lot of aliens, even with all his fancy footwork.

God, he deserved so much better than the Phantom Menace.

It’s been a while since we’ve shown a particularly epic blockbuster trailer to spark discussion, and I thought this one would qualify. The first Amazing Spider-Man spot was largely introductory, but now this new trailer shows a great deal more of the reboot.

I like it, and not just because Andrew Garfield is the closest thing I have to a celebrity doppleganger. I’m already digging his character as a harder version of Tobey Maguire’s whiny, hapless Parker. You can never go wrong with Emma Stone, and I’m curious if they would have the balls to kill her off.

The CGI on The Lizard looks a touch sketch, but you never really get a clear view of him, so it’s hard to tell. Why do we hate actual costumes so much these days? Anyway, I think it could turn out well. What do you think?

by Zack Ruskin

[$9 Trailers is a feature that examines movie trailers, and judges how well (or poorly) they execute their job of making me want to shell out nine bucks to see them. I thought this one paired well with my review of Chronicle that went up earlier today]

While every movie trailer exists for one reason only, the methods employed to get viewers in theaters are as varied as the films they advertise. Some genres of film have such predictable trailer formulas that you can actually watch the scenes before they appear:

- Katherine Heigel is committed to her job
- She meets a guy that’s perfectly wrong for her
- Cue the sappy power ballad
- Heigel makes a sweeping generalization about love while standing in the rain
- Up pops the film’s title

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by TJ Fink

The Super Bowl is an interesting time for non-sports fans. I know all the rules of football, understand most of the strategies, and genuinely enjoy a competitive game, but somehow it’s still infuriating to some of my NYC friends that I have no interest in picking a side. Oh well.

In truth, I look forward to Super Bowl commercials much more than the actual game. Some of them might be god-awful, but every now and then a clever ad pops up with some actual entertainment value. Segue time: I caught the latest Avengers teaser on Sunday night, and it got me thinking about the current state of superhero movies. My instinctive reaction to the trailer, of course, was “Holy shit! How could this film be anything short of amazing?” But then my cynical side chimed in and started an argument.

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Films like Kick-Ass and Super are enjoyable because they imagine what it might be like if the particularly brave or mentally ill decided to become superheroes despite having no actual powers. The reverse side of that, an everyman developing superhuman abilities, has been the subject of many comics throughout history, and is the origin story for the majority of our now-classic heroes.

But what if comic book lore was given a decidedly human twist? What if the people given those incredible powers were just three kids from your high school history class? Chronicle aims to well, chronicle what exactly that journey might look like.

For as much as “found footage” films are derided as of late as the newest trend in movie making to be exploited, I would argue that the fact remains that the majority of the films that use the tactic are in fact quite good. It may be personal taste, but I’ve very much enjoyed movies like Blair Witch, Rec, Paranormal Activity and so on. The only real film to use the style and breakout of the horror mold has been creature feature Cloverfield, but now we get to see a new genre through that lens, the superhero film.

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I’m surprised we haven’t done a feature on this subject yet.   I feel like prep schools are featured in movies a reasonable amount.   And to be honest I have no idea if they truly depict what a prep school life is supposed to be.

From what I can gather, an all boys school consists of rigorous studying, an intense amount of pressure to get into the right college,  making fun of teachers, and trying to to see prep school girls whenever they have a chance.  Oh and doing whatever they can to impress alumni.

Maybe that’s accurate and maybe it’s not but it makes for some pretty good movies.   That said, here are seven of my favorite prep school movies….

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The most important life lessons in Star Wars condensed into a singular poster. It beats “KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON” doesn’t it? What does that even mean?

The print is available for $24 over at Etsy, which has just made me realize how crappy the exchange rate is on the dollar. The artist, ChattyNora, also has a Harry Potter one for even cheaper that you can check out below:

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