Click on the photo for more futuristic motorcyles

Motorcycles are the most affordable form of motorized transportation in many parts of the world, and for most of the world’s population, they are also the most common type of motor vehicle. Sadly, motorcycles are illegal in most other galaxies in the universe due to the fact that most alien species are ruled by cows who naturally have a problem with creatures who wear leather jackets.

The Countdown

All the single babies….. – [Chrudat]

Runner does a nice faceplant at the finish line – [Gorillamask]

Get a load of the daily female objectification – [Blog of Hilarity]

If they made a Digg movie, this would be close – [Screenjunkies]

Wait a sec, what are they eating? – [Attuworld]

What the hell is the Darth Vader sensor bar holder? – [Gonintendo]

Ridiculous ancient beliefs that thrive on the internet – [Cracked]

Lindsay Lohan turned up in Singapore – [Epic Carnival]

Masturbating might lower your IQ – [Asylum]

The girl at the end of the bar – [Brobible]

I can’t seem to make it through the entirety of this video without my ears crying out from exhaustion, but it is rather funny for a while. It’s Super Mario Bros. 2 with hardcore commentary about all the shit that doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense in the game.

The same guy has also done Super Mario Bros. but that one isn’t as good. I’d be interested in seeing him do some other games as well, but I’d say three minutes is about the maximum length these videos should be.

[via Geekologie]

Is it just me, or is this the first pro-breast exam video ever made that actually seems to be making fun of breast cancer? A bunch of hot actresses get together to have a breast exam party, which involves massaging their own and occasionally, each other’s boobs (hence why I’m posting this at all). One of them finds a lump and everyone freaks out, but then it turns out to be a jewel in her expensive Victoria’s Secret bra. Hah! She could have been dying but really she’s just a spoiled bitch! Hilarious! And the entire sketch is inexplicably bookended by the paparazzi. Not really sure what’s going on there.

So as much as watching Minka Kelly play with her boobs is on the top of my list for “things worth two minutes of my time,” I can’t help but think this is the worst anti-cancer viral video ever. Although I guess if it makes even one girl touch her boobs, it was all worthwhile.

Jessica Alba is in talks to join the cast of the third installment of the “Meet the Parents” franchise, which is being prepped by director Paul Weitz for Universal Pictures and Tribeca Productions.

Alba will play a key role alongside Ben Stiller, Teri Polo, Robert De Niro, Blythe Danner, and Owen Wilson.

So now it’s a franchise?  Funny because I thought it was a really funny original movie followed by one of the dumbest and pathetic sequels I’ve ever not seen.

That’s right, I saw maybe 10 minutes of the movie and as soon as there was fart humor and that little kid entered the screen I nearly vomited.  And now we’re making a third one?

Can someone please join me, invest a little cash and we’ll create a studio called “Movies that Don’t Suck?”  Where is the integrity of a movie studio?  Does it always have to be about the dollar?

Come on Universal!  You’re making billions of dollars.  Please, at least try to keep up some kind of quality in your movies here.  I mean is there any chance this movie is good?  And come on Robert Deniro and Dustin Hoffman.  Hell, even Ben Stiller.  Have you guys not made enough money in your careers?

As you can tell, this bothers me.   All except for the Jessica Alba part.

Thoughts?

A lot of people on the internet seem to think that Mel Gibson has snapped completely and is now running around New York with a beaver puppet on his hand due to the fact that his mind is currently on the planet Venus.

But actually, that’s not true. Gibson is actually filming a new movie appropriately titled The Beaver, where he plays a divorced dad coping by the use of a beaver puppet that he voices. It’s going to be AWESOME. Look at that beaver!

I’m very proud of myself I made it a whole two paragraphs without any beaver-related puns. I am now more mature than 99.9% of the internet.

I’ll bet you never thought I’d lead this story with Joe E Tata.  But that’s just the kind of guy I am.   Anyone over the age of 25 can appreciate all that was Beverly Hills 90210.  And I’m not talking about the new show.  I’m talking about one of the best teen drama shows of all time.

When you think about it, in a nutshell, here’s what the show became.  It started off as a cute series about a bunch of good kids in Beverly Hills who were told not to drink, have sex, or do anything unbecoming of a teen.

Eventually they all had sex with each other, one became anorexic, one became a cokehead, another a meth addict, one an alcoholic, and all of them probably killed someone at some point.

Now that’s TV.  Check out how some of the stars look now, 18 years later.

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It seems to be a running joke in the industry these days that every movie made these days is either a remake, a reboot or a sequel, and the sad part is it’s true. The problem with this new philosophy of unoriginal filmmaking is that it can take a series we’ve always loved and taint it by forcing crappier additions to it that never should have seen the light of day, or adding on more crappy additions to an already crappy franchise.

Either way, it’s not good, and out of all the series to choose from, I picked these eight that should really be left alone above all other, each for their own reasons. Let me know if you agree.

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It’s pretty obvious that pretty much every movie that has ever been based on a video game has been utter crap.  When the best of the genre are Silent Hill and the Resident Evil series, you know you’re in trouble.  Quite simply, movie producers and directors don’t “get” the games they turn into movies, and if they do, those games should have never been adapted into movies to begin with.  Video game fans, it seems, have a much better idea about what the genre should be – if it’s bad ass, make it bad ass, and if it’s silly, well, make it silly.  After the jump, take a look at the work of said fans, and enjoy 10 awesome trailers to fan-made video game movies.  My personal favorite is either Paperboy or Halo (despite Halo using clips from games and commercials).

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Diablo Cody is apparently meeting with Brian Grazer to discuss talking about writing a “Playboy” movie.  Unfortunately that’s really all we know at this point, however isn’t that news enough?  I would say it is.

And if that’s not enough for you, Filmdrunk has their take on what the interview room smelled like.

Click on the photo for famous actors and roles they turned down

Dana Delany as Carrie Bradshaw? Cosmo Kramer as Monk?  Imagine how weird it would be if you saw some of your favorite sitcom characters replaced by actors you would never think could fit the bill.  Weirdness.

The Countdown

Solid review of Halo 3: ODST – [G4TV]

Movies to see instead of Pandorum – [UGO]

Mega Man creator says Japanese game industry is dead – [Double Kill]

Reminding us of our love for hot weather girls – [Asylum]

What the hell is skateboarding human tetris? – [Supertremendous]

Who are the most sexy action heroes? – [Attuworld]

Pilot uses his flying powers for evil – [Blog of Hilarity]

A gallery of dogs in star wars costumes – [Screenjunkies]

Neve Campbell is alive and well in Scream 4 – [Filmdrunk]

The best Eliza Dushku picture that I’ve ever seen – [Warmingglow]

There are 11 types of strangers so be careful – [Chrudat]