The Only Five Crappy Movie Stoners I Can Think Of


Let’s face it.  Movie Stoner lists have been made until our eyes will bleed.  Hell we made a pretty awesome list.   And when you really think about it, for the most part, movie stoners are pretty funny.  As they should be.  In all honesty I can only assume that it’s pretty hard to mess up playing a stoner.

Which is why coming up with this list was much harder than I imagined.  I really couldn’t think of too many stoners that didn’t make the cut but somehow there were five that definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

You may or may not agree here, but here are the only five crappy movie stoners I can think of

Kenny – Don’t Tell Mom The Baby Sitter’s Dead


Does anyone remember Keith Coogan?  He was in a coule of 80s movies including Hiding OutAdventures in Baby Sitting and then got older and really never got hired for anything good again.  His portrayal of stoner brother Kenny in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead was pretty pathetic.  From his stupid laughs to screaming out “Rock n’ Roll!” this is a perfect case of overacting the stoner part.  I mean are people who smoke weed really like this?  And that’s not even the point.  The guy wasn’t funny at all.

Brian – Half Baked


Played by Jim Breuer, this has to go down as the worst overacted stoner part in movie history.   And it sucks because Half Baked is an amazing movie, arguably the best stoner movie the world’s ever seen.   But come on guys.  Was Breuer really funny?  Maybe the part when he says “funyuns” but that’s about all.  I think movie would have been better without Breuer.

Jodi in Knocked Up

Knocked Up

Played by Charlyne Li, she was the only stoner I didn’t like in this film.  The whole crew of Seth Rogan was awesome in this flick butI have to admit I really couldn’t stand Li.  And I’m glad she wasn’t in the movie that long.  I mean I can see where her lines might be funny but they just weren’t.   Her whole harassing of Katherine Heigl part and her silly little weird quips.  They just weren’t funny.  All the guys were great but I could lived without Jodi.

Jesse Montgomery or Travis Greenberg in Dude Where’s My Car


I’d like to forget this movie was ever made.  “And then?  And then?”  Not funny AT ALL.

Travis – Clueless


I think just about anything involving Breckin Meyer is kind of lame.  Even in Road Trip you kind of wanted to strangle the little puny piss ant.  He’s just an annoying dude.  And no different was he in Clueless.  I actually liked this movie but the way he talks and acts in this movie is just so commercial.  Stoner people do NOT act this way.

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  1. I dunno… Jodi’s “Wanna trade boyfriends? Just kidding… kinda.” line is one of my favorites from Knocked Up. It’s not funny until she mumbles “kinda”.

  2. I agree with SirEdward on that line, but I agree that her placing was kind of…odd.

    Also, let me state after watching Dude, Where’s My Car? I felt a little bit dumber and wished I could have had the time I spent watching it back. Just terrible.

  3. So evidently you’ve met every stoner on the planet and are the perfect judge of what one looks and acts like. Way to go with this really, really awesome list, which you probably put together in about two minutes after you woke up.

  4. @ C

    I think there’s quite a bit of difference between “every stoner on the planet” and “movie stoners,” don’t you? And why so upset? Other than Jodi, these guys all sucked.

  5. I was about to come here to say “What, you don’t know fuckin’ Jay and Silent Bob? The fuckin’ mack daddys of fuckin’ Jersey?” but then I saw they were on your other list.

  6. Dude, I can officially say that Jim Breuer was absolutely hilarious in Half Baked. He’s clearly overacting on purpose, and that’s why it’s funny. It’s not like you have to take acting classes or try to be specifically spot on when playing a stoner…he just decided to take everything to the Nth degree, and his facial expressions crack me up every single time I watch Half Baked.

    “Who’s comin’ with me, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan?” Classic. 😀

  7. hey man, i totally agree with you on this list for the most part, but you have one glaring omission. The first red flag will be that he is played by Stephen Baldwin and the second is that it is a Pauly Shore movie. Baldwin’s portrayal of Doyle Johnson in Biodome is the absolutely an insult to every stoner or even anyone who has played a stoner. Pauly Shore had a couple decently funny lines, but Baldwin sucked the funny out of the movie like a black hole of unfunniness.

  8. I think Jim Bruer was HILARIOUS in half baked. But here’s why…he doesn’t strike me as JUST a stoner.

    He reminds me of people I know who did WAAAAAAAAYYY to much acid, at some point in time and got perma-fried. That’s why he’s the dead-fan type stoner. That he only smokes weed in the movie is incidental…

    1. Dude, Brian was not a guy who did acid he only smokes weed. The whole group only does weed. And NOBODY GETS LIKE THAT from weed alone. THAT’S what makes his character so completely and utterly ridiculous.

  9. As a regular visitor of stoner culture, I can honestly say that Jodi is one of the most realistic girl stoners I’ve seen on film. She might be a little annoying, but she is pretty spot-on.

    And Brian.. seriously? I guess you don’t know too many of the perma-fried variety.

    1. As a 30 year weed smoker who has met thousands, no, there aren’t any people like Brian in the world who got that way from weed. He’s a ridiculous caricature of a non-existent type of person. Yes, there are people who got really burned out from acid or other drugs but Brian was only a stoner. There are no pure stoners who act like that. It’s ridiculous.

  10. Agreed. Jim Bruer in Half Baked was AWFUL. As a person who has met thousands of stoners in my life I have YET TO MEET ONE who acts like that. I just rewatched Half Baked and his horrible acting is so bad it almost ruins this movie for me now. He’s so bad he almost completely ruins one of the all time great stoner movies.

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