I really miss the 90s, and this video is a prime example of why, as you’ll see. It’s a promo video made by Nintendo Power to promote the then-upcoming Star Fox 64, but rather than just show gameplay footage explained by the designers, they decided to make it a mini-movie. The plot? Oh, the plot.
A Nintendo test pilot parachutes down(?) and is immediately captured by the bumbling duo of Sony and Sega operatives (I almost typed “Microsoft” right there). They tie him up and torture a doll of Mario with electrodes in front of him until he spills all the secrets of the upcoming game. Insert game footage.
This is truly some of the WORST acting I’ve ever seen…in anything, and I’m just relieved that the test pilot wasn’t Nathan Fillion like I thought he was for two seconds.
Shit I think I’m going to dust off the 64 and get some Star Fox going. Also, WHY IS THERE NOT A NEW STARFOX GAME?