True Blood Review – “Bad Blood”

Just like last season, I’ll be reviewing every episode of True Blood here at Unreality.  I thoroughly enjoyed last season – despite the underwhelming finale – and have been looking forward to more vampire sex and violence in this season of True Blood.  Despite some time off, the show’s premiere hit the ground running, picking right up where last season left off.  Everyone in the town of Bon Temps has got to deal with the aftermath of Maryann’s wrath, and some of the characters are having a more difficult time doing so than others.  Of course, last season’s cliffhanger involved Bill’s kidnapping…but who snatched him?  Keep reading to find out and for the full review.  As always, there will be major spoilers.

When I say that “Bad Blood” begins right where Season 2 left off, I mean that literally.  Snookie runs out of the French restaurant where Bill had proposed marriage just moments ago, but she’s heartbroken to see that he’s nowhere to be found.  Interestingly, neither is Bill’s car, but Sookie never once suspects that Bill had second thoughts regarding his proposal.  Not that she should, I guess, considering he’s the one who bought her a diamond.  To make things worse for Sookie, nobody from law enforcement seems to give a crap about there whereabouts of a missing vampire, especially when there’s really no evidence that he was kidnapped aside from an overturned table and Sookie’s hysterics.

Speaking of hysterics, both Tara and Jason are having a real hard time coping with the death of Eggs.  Just when it seems like things couldn’t get any worse for poor Tara, the one guy with whom she finally feels a connection and loves dearly gets capped in the head.  A lot of people dislike Tara, but I don’t.  She’s not one of my favorites, but it’s tough to root against a character – no matter how abrasive she may be – when almost everything and everyone she’s ever loved has been turned to shit.  It’s going to be a long time before Tara fully recovers from the death of eggs, I’m guessing, but “recovering” is all relative; the girl’s baseline is somewhere between nutty and insane.

Jason’s problems stem not from love, but from guilt and the fact that he and Andy have cooked up a story to hide the truth.  Despite being urged from Andy to act normal (go out and get laid), Jason’s guilt is overwhelming.  Even the thing Jason does best – womanizing – is compromised due to his feelings of guilt.  He’s able to seduce a couple of NYU college girls into coming back to his house, but when it’s time to perform, Jason just can’t rise to the occasion.  This leads to by far the best line of the episode, courtesy of Andy’s advice: Conscience off, dick on.”  By the way – is there a better pairing than Jason and Andy?  I think I would even watch a spinoff sitcom starring those two.  Anyway, if every girl that Jason gets into bed suddenly appears with a bullet hole in her head, I have a feeling he’s going to spill the beans on who really killed Eggs soon enough.

All the while, Jessica gets a little carried away with the trucker she hooked up with at the end of last season and sucks him dry.

It turns out that Eric was indeed intent on grabbing Bill, only someone has beaten him to it.  Sookie approaches Eric for help and finds him mid-coitus with a new Fangtasia dancer.  The people who tune into True Blood for sex surely must have been happy, as Eric was really giving it to her.  I mean really, really giving it to her.  That bald vamp from the sex tape in Season 1 has some competition.  Anyway, Eric – completely naked and unashamed of it – tells Sookie that as sheriff, he has a duty to find missing vampires in his area.  For the first time in the series, we see Eric really lose his composure, as Bill is the only vampire aware that he’s been dealing V and, as such, can be a major threat to Eric if left unchecked.  Eric and the Queen Sophie-Anne (who is also in on the V dealing) later sit down with the Magister at Fangtasia, both feigning disgust at those who sell vampire blood for profit.  One question: is the Magister “higher” than the Queen in the vampire pecking order?  I’d imagine so, otherwise why would the Queen have to feign ignorance?  Unless the Magister can report the Queen to an even higher power, I’m guessing he weild more power than she does.  Can anyone fill me in?

Anyhow, Pam (on orders from Eric) orders Lafayette to sell all the V he has by the next morning.  And she is not a fan of being called “hooker.”

Now, to the best parts of last night’s show.  Let’s first address the elephant in the room – what the hell was the deal with Sam’s gay dream about Bill?  Sam drank Bill’s blood last season in order to heal from his encounter with Maryann, so is that why he’s having sexual dreams about Bill?  At first, I thought that Bill was glamoring Sam (can shifters be glamored?) so that he could feed and heal himself, but once the “hard” pun came out, I knew it had to be a dream.  I wonder what’s going on there; I honestly don’t have a clue as of now.  When he wasn’t dreaming about showering with Bill, Sam continued looking for his family.  He found a lead in a kid named Tommy, who denied being part of the Mickens family but may very well be Sam’s brother.

So if Eric didn’t kidnap Bill, then who did?  Pretty easily the biggest bad asses to appear on True Blood, that’s who.  These guys made the Dallas vampires look like kittens.  I can only assume that they are werewolves – based on the tattoo found on one of their bodies – but what they want with Bill remains a mystery.  Coot – the leader – and his boys are just the type of villains I want to see on True Blood.  Racing down the road and getting high by drinking V straight from the source reminded me of Alex and his droogies playing “hogs of the road” while out of their minds on drug-laced milk.  These new villains are mean-looking, imposing, and vicious – they have to be the werewolves we see at the end.  And I can’t wait to see more of them.

As for the wolves, I think it was a good decision to not create some sort of man-wolf hybrid monster; having them turn into actual wolves is probably best.  I didn’t really care for the visual effects used on the wolves’ eyes, but other than that, I had no complaints.  A real, breathing, ferocious animal is always better than crappy CGI or a poorly designed rubber suit.  If Stan Winston isn’t doing it (RIP, Stan), it’s probably not real good.

Overall, I was very happy with the True Blood Season 3 premiere, and it was a great reminder of why I love this show so much to begin with.  What did you guys think?