Movieception: Six Seemingly Awesome Fake Movies That Exist Within Real Films

Why do so many great movies tease us of EVEN GREATER movies within them? And not just that, but greater movies will not EVER see? It is like dating someone, and while they are having sex with you, they let you know they can do even crazier things, sexually, but then they just never bring it up again. So there you are, undoubtedly satisfied, but also unsatisfied in knowing you could have potentially been even more satisfied. And sometimes, we walk away from these movies talking about the fake film we wished existed more than the actual film we just saw. Here, for your reading pleasure, six movies within movies that seem like they would totally kick ass. Maybe we can wish them into existence?

DON’T from Grindhouse

As you will see by the end of trailer, they mean don’t do pretty much anything. Ever. Or else….

I think of all the movies on this list, DON’T is the one I most wish would come true. In case you don’t recall, DON’T was one of the fake trailers that played before Grindhouse, and it perfectly captured the look and feel of the campy, gross-out, gore horror movies of the late seventies. Hell, even the trailer, although hilarious, was actually pretty intense by the end. And on top of it, DON’T was written and directed by Edgar Wright. Yes, THAT Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) so IMAGINE the madness, hilarity, and gore that would have happened had this been more than just a (perfect) faux trailer.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUa3ft2nhyA

The best part is, I promise you could pass this off as a real trailer to people unaware of the faux trailer movement, but well aware of 70’s horror and how it was marketed.

Sadly, DON’T will probably never happen, but DON’T you wish it would? Wow, that was lame of me.

Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)

” I will take them apples and jam them right up your ass, you uppity prick.”

I just wrote a rather in-depth piece about these two yesterday, so while they are fresh on my brain, why not discuss the best thing they never did? Good Will Hunting 2, from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, was everything you could want in a (fake) sequel. Gone was all the meandering speeches and moral lessons, replaced by two surly Bostonians, ready to fuck up anyone who got in their way. It was a blast to watch them play the exact opposite of what they both got famous for, and just re-using the “how you like THEM apples” speech from the original movie made this entry even cooler.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ70hbvaPdU

I pre-ordered this movie seven years ago, even though it has no chance of ever existing. It comes with the Brooklyn Bridge. Only old people will get that joke.

Simple Jack from Tropic Thunder

The scene with the bunny breaks my heart every time.

Actually, to be more accurate, every fake movie from Tropic Thunder looked amazing. From the actual Tropic Thunder, which looks to be the best faux Apocalypse Now ever made, to Satan’s Alley, where (the white) Robert Downey jr plays a priest, and ALSO, plays his own lover, the very act of film making was satirized in this wonderful film, but nothing reached people quite like Simple Jack. The story of a special boy who had the ability to talk to animals. I think.

Oh, and he was super retarded.

This pissed people off SO BADLY, yet I saw this movie WITH special needs kids who could laugh at it, so maybe some of those people who get so angry and offended need to take themselves a little less seriously. It is humor, and in humor, nothing is sacred. Especially a retarded kid who can talk to animals.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-n_zk7e0ZU

If you can’t laugh at the awesome stupidity of this trailer, you and I would just not get along.

But we did learn a valuable lesson about Simple Jack, even though we never saw it. And that lesson was, say it with me, people: Never go FULL retard.

Gandhi 2 from UHF

He will fuck shit up. But all in the name of peace.

I know that, earlier up the list with the Goodwill Hunting sequel, I already talked about how funny it is to switch the whole idea of a character up with a sequel, making peaceful people into warriors for their follow ups, but let’s not forget, Weird Al did it first with his Gandhi 2 trailer from his cult hit, UHF. I remember when I saw this thinking how brilliant of an idea it was, and the very fact that people (mainly me) are still bringing it up shows it is an idea that really has legs.

And I won’t lie, it is a movie I still wish existed.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfvLcozLwtE

And years before Grindhouse nailed the faux trailer movement, looks like UHF did it first.

Angels With Filthy Souls from Home Alone

I still yell this at terrible people around Christmas time. 

Does it make me stupid that I thought this was an actual, old film, just used perfectly for Home Alone? Well, I may be stupid, because that is exactly what I thought for the longest time, until I actually looked up Angels With Filthy Souls to watch it and see if the rest of the film was as cool as that one scene they kept showing on Home Alone, and wouldn’t you know it, it doesn’t exist.  I know a lot of the other movies on this list are humorous or satirical, but this movie just seems to nail that 50’s gangster vibe so perfectly, so it is crazy to think they made it just to use it in the film.

Here, admit it, you would see the shit out of this?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asluUWl56Sk

Also, Angels With Filthy Souls would be a great name for a metal band or a porn film. Just saying.

Hamlet (with AHNULD) from Last Action Hero

The guy on the left is actually easier to understand.

I will say this as many times as I have to until people understand. Last Action Hero is a really good satire of 80’s action movies, and I still feel like it is a movie that is a bit misunderstood. People watched it as an action flick, and thought it was awful, but if you watch Last Action Hero and look at it as the Spinal Tap of action movies, it is actually very self deprecating, and quite funny at times.

Take, for example, that idea that, within this world in the movie, the Schwarzenegger character (thank god spell check even knows his name) is so famous and well known, he plays Hamlet. Ofcourse, he plays it exactly like he would any of his other movies, which is exactly why it works. And yes, I would, without a doubt, own this movie. The black and white is a great touch, too.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z9Ismh1elM

Tell me, what kind of commie WOULDN’T want to see this film?

Okay, so which great, fake movies did I miss? Take to the comments and let me know. And check out my site. There is something there for everyone. Even albinos.