Five Lesser Known but Incredible Lines from Die Hard

I had the pleasure of seeing Die Hard on the big screen a couple of weeks ago.  There’s this special theater in Brooklyn that shows 80s movies on weekends and needless to say it was an incredible experience.  While I’ve seen the movie at least 20 times on television and DVD, I was too young to see it on the big screen.  And boy did it make a difference.   Hands down this has to go down as one of the best action flicks of all-time.  Not only that, as my buddy pointed out,  considering Bruce Willis had never done an action film before let alone star in one, could this have been the best premiere by a rookie action star of all-time?  I’d argue yes.

It’s easily one of my favorite holiday films but there’s more to love about.  First of all, it still holds up today.  The lines are ridiculously awesome and even “clever” in a way.  It’s not the obvious Arnold Schwarnegger stupid line stuff like he used in every 80s action movie he ever made.  You know, the cheesy obvious lines like in The Running Man where he’d say “Cool Off” to Freeze just after he kills him? Die Hard on the other hand is actually witty.   Sure there’s the ridiculous 80s action movie absurdity.  I mean who the hell survives a terrorist attack barefoot?  Certainly not a foul mouthed New York City cop.  And let’s face it.  How on earth Mr. long blond hair ballet guy survives to give us one last scare is beyond me.  But come on.  It’s still awesome.  Plus one of the best villains of all time in Hans Gruber.   I don’t think that’s even an argument.

But let’s get back to the great lines.  While the movie is full of one liners, here are some lesser known lines that had be rolling in my chair.

“Hans, booby….” – Ellis

Let’s face it.  Ellis is one of the best characters in any movie ever.  Played by Hart Bachner (I wish I were making this name up, could it be more perfect?), the cocaine induced, bearded sleazy salesman is just a little in over his head in this scene.   Every time Ellis smiles and gives a thumbs up I laugh out loud.

“Ho, Ho, Ho” – Hans Gruber – Minute 2:30 of this video

Gruber may not have that many lines in the movie that are memorable for the words themselves, but Rickman’s voice and just his demeanor make every single line incredible.  And nothing is better than his patient, drawn out heavily accented “Ho, Ho, Ho.”

“This is Agent Johnson, no the other one” or “I was in Junior High D**khead”

Yes, there’s a black and white Agent Johnson and that the movie made fun of this just makes the movie even better.  It’s like they did this for no reason other than to be funny and it’s perfect.

“Hey, we’re flexible. Pearl Harbor didn’t work out so we got you with tape decks.” – Joseph Takagi

Yup, I never even realized that one of the best lines in the movie was by a dude who barely got to speak or was even alive for that long.   The line still holds up today.

“Who’s driving this car, Stevie Wonder?” – John McClane

Maybe it’s a mean line.  But come on.  This is during an era when being PC wasn’t as big a deal and I truly miss lines like this.  Face it, it’s funny. Sorry this video is of Argyle. Had to get one in there.