Everything I Know About Mario is a Lie

Someone sent me this picture yesterday, and I had to do a double take. Is that Mario selling Princess Peach to another dude while walking away with a fat stack of coins. Yes, yes it is.

This is actually a real title in the series from Japan, and not some Chinese knockoff. Obviously this plot angle was ditched, as perhaps players didn’t want to be working as an Italian bounty hunter, rescuing a princess for some douchey prince who couldn’t get off his ass and do it himself. Look at those skinny legs! Like that guy could ever stomp a Goomba to death.

After receiving nothing more than a kiss on the cheek from the good princess, Mario is about to buy a LOT of hookers with that fat stack of cash.

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  1. It’s not like the Japanese to make a plot as innocent as “Prince hires Mario to save the princess, then pays him handsomely when he does.” There has to be some horribly messed up back story.

  2. The white part on the left reads “Original Soundtrack”. Not sure what the title is, though, I’ve forgotten all my kanjis. But it does say Mario Brothers and something about Princess Peach.

    It does look like a CD.

    Oh, wait, you don’t need to know any Japanese at all to read the “Original Soundtrack” part on the top left….

  3. it was an anime movie in japan only, the plot is that mario is playing video games and peach comes on the tv and asks for help,mario goes into the tv to the mushroom kingdom, saves peach and saves this prince douche, mario doesn’t know about the prince until the end and marios all sad an shit, dude thought he was getting laid

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