Dexter Review: “Goodbye Miami”


Goodbye Dexter.

I know it’s two episodes early, and I never thought I’d say this, but I Just. Don’t. Care. Any. More.

Years ago, when Dexter was still one of my favorite shows, I used to fantasize about how it would end. How could they ever possibly top a thrilling season like the second one where Dexter is almost discovered? They couldn’t, right?

No, they couldn’t. And they haven’t.

This has just been such a pitiful season up to this point, there’s literally nothing that can happen in the next pair of episodes to save it. When the set-up is all wrong, it really doesn’t matter at all how such a poorly structured story ends.

Like most fans, I thought that this final season would be all about Dexter being discovered or at least almost discovered. Instead, the only thing Dexter might be discovered for is harboring a fugitive, Hannah, a character that’s such an albatross around the neck of this show it’s almost physically painful to watch.

dexter goodbye2


Yes, someone died this week. Vogel, like you didn’t see that coming. It was fairly obvious she wouldn’t survive the season, but what was a surprise was that her motives were so straightforward this entire time. She always felt shady, like she could never really be trusted. Turns out everything was completely on the up-and-up outside of her secret note-taking on her interactions with Dexter. She had no direct hand in the brain-surgeon killings after all. Yes ,the killer turned out to be her long-lost son out of nowhere, but she had nothing to do with his actions.

Hannah shows up and convinces Dexter that he and Harrison can run away to Argentina. When you spend an entire episode with Dexter literally smiling, looking at a computer screen filled with Argentina images, I think it’s fairly f***ing obvious that no one is going to Argentina. Big tragic, unexpected twists like Rita’s death have been handled well on this show previously, but it was easy to see this one coming from a mile away.

Dexter convinces himself he has to stay around to protect Vogel, when ironically, him doing so actually ends up getting her killed. I thought that Vogel was setting Dexter up to be captured and killed by Oliver, but nope, again, she’s a far more straightforward character than we thought. And now she’s dead and we’re supposed to feel bad, but it’s hard to considering I never trusted her for one second this year. But she really was the mom-figure she appeared to be, and we were suppose to empathize with her rather than be skeptical of her, it seems. Welp, too late now.

Meanwhile, a series of freak coincidences and all around terrible decision-making lead Hannah to probably getting caught next week. First, Dudebro Marshall just happens to show up in Batista’s office as he’s trying to find a new lab tech, and is able to connect the dots about Dexter leaving. Then dumbass Harrison just happens to fall on the treadmill and achieve a blood-gushing treadmill-related injury that has never remotely happened in real life before. Then dumbass Hannah takes him to this hospital in full “I’m the world’s most gorgeous fugitive” mode without bothering to wear so much as a hat or sunglasses. Naturally, she’s spotted and inexplicably left alone by Dexter as he chases after Oliver. He’s told to do this by Ghost Harry, which is exactly the sort of thing that Ghost Harry would not tell him to do, as evidenced by every season up until now.

dexter goodbye1

Yeah, I’m just out of good fatherly advice at this point. I suggest doing a copious amount of meth and jumping off the roof of Miami Metro. 

All of this is SO DUMB. And I’m even overlooking things like how the Dexter-Deb love plot was supposed to be the central issue of the entire show, and it was just tossed away to be forgotten once Hannah entered the picture. Deb is back with Quinn and oh god are they really going to let this show end without Quinn doing one interesting thing in his entire existence? And don’t even get me started on this year’s Elway red herring.

A few weeks ago, you guys wrote in the comments about a running theory involving Matthews knowing Dexter’s secret this whole time, and looking out for him all these years after Harry’s death.  Harry was his best friend, after all, and perhaps he turned Vogel onto Dexter, and then moments like him telling La Guerta to leave Dexter alone, or warning Dexter about her inquiries make sense.

It’s the most interesting thing I’d heard this season, and I’m pretty sure it’s completely fictional. Vogel is dead, Dexter isn’t about to be caught (as a serial killer, at least), and Matthews is doing nothing but apparently working as a private eye for Zack Hamilton’s family. There’s just no reason for such a reveal at this point, now that the show has developed its own storylines further.

It’s sad when the best plotline of your show is a fan theory. And Dexter is just in a very, very sad state.


I blame Hannah. Well, the writers. But mostly Hannah.

You don’t need to see the final episode to know that this will not be one of television’s great finales. This is of course in contrast to say, Breaking Bad, which is making every second of every episode count in the lead up to the grand finale.

Dexter used to be edge-of-your-seat entertainment, but these last three seasons especially have thrown what once was an infallible show dramatically off-course. And we’re so far gone at this point, we can’t even see land and there’s no way back to shore from here.

Dexter, live, die, run, hide, I just don’t care anymore.

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  1. Yeah, The Harrison Treadmil thing literally made me curse the writers. When it doubt have children do something stupid.

    Sad reality: Dudebro Marshall and Elway are actually the smartest people on the show right now. Think about it.

  2. If Doakes were to return from the dead, shout “Surprise, Motherfucker!” and shoot Dexter in the face, I think that may be slightly less ridiculous than the direction it feels like the writers are taking the finale, based on the previews for the last two episodes.

  3. it’s at the point where I’m watching to see just how stupid and horrible the ending is going to be. I’m not even going to be mad that the ending will be awful anymore. this is the most disappointing dumpster-fire of a television season that I’ve ever watched and now i’m just along to hate-watch it.

    For anyone who has never seen an episode of this show, watch seasons 1-4 and pretend like it ends there. You will then be left with the impression that Dexter is one of the best TV dramas of all time.

  4. Yeah, just let it end already. How can they have messed it up so bad…this was weak, and Dexter deserves better.

    I still would have preferred the final adversary to be Jonah Mitchell…or Deb…or Matthews…HELL, QUINN OR BATISTA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

    But instead we get random neighbours boyfriend with no real beef with Dexter.

    At this point no ending will suffice.
    I’d have Dexter sail off into the sunset with Hannah, all smiles and bliss, then fade to Doakes from season 2…in the cage, but actually has Dexter by the throat through the bars…Seasons 3 to the end were all an Oxygen induced delusion…Dexter dies in the cabin and we have our Spinoff…Doakes, motherfucker!

  5. The question is not whether Dexter jumped the shark, but rather when did Dexter jump the shark. I think it was the introduction of Jordan Chase, and it has only gotten progressively worse since then. I literally have not felt an ounce of dramatic tension from watching this show since the end of the Trinity Killer season. The only reason I watch it at this point is to see it finally put out of its misery.

    And I fully believe that Matthews will be a key part of the conclusion. The writers have not been very subtle about his character. He’s never really a part of the plot, yet he’s always contributing something. Also, Deb and Quin getting happy romancing is not a good sign for Deb and/or Quin’s prospects.

  6. I won’t let people lay the decline of Dexter at the feet of Jordan Chase and Season 5. Season 5 was a necessary Season to get us pass Rita’s death, it’s true that it could’ve been handled differently, but the true decline in Dexter began when all of the build up in Season 5, with Quinn hiring RoboCop to track Dexter was dropped immediately in Season 6. Season 5 provided Dexter with seeing something positive from his Dark Passenger (ie, saving Lumen’s life) Dexter has never been a hero exactly and after Rita’s death it was good to see Dexter make up for that with saving Lumen.

    Season 5 did have some bumps and bruises, but it was an average Season, like Season 3. After that however, when NONE of Dexter’s development from that Season was even addressed and Quinn became the dumbest cop alive, THAT’S when the show took a major decline. But Season 6 was at least salvageable. Season 7 & 8, after they dropped Louis Greene, I was officially done. He was the MOST interesting character they had ever created and they traded him for Little Miss Perfect Serial Killer Dream Girl Hannah Mcf*ckin’Kay….

    THAT’S when Dexter jumped The Shark.

  7. I agree with pretty much everyone above, but I’ll sum up my feelings of what Dexter has become with the following sentence.

    I enjoyed True Blood more than Dexter this season…that’s saying something.

  8. Can we please stop saying “It jumped the shark” for everything that just gets worse over time. That’s not what jumping the shark is. For every wrong turn Dexter has made, it’s been fixable, they just go a different direction.

  9. I read on -avclub I think- that the problem is that the writers have said they see Dexter as a superhero. Season One, Dexter was a murderer who used a code to justify his violent impluses. He had to fake human emotions, and pretended to like his friends and girlfriend. In the first episode he states that he doesn’t understand sex and is happy with Rita because she uncomfortable having a sexual relationship.
    Now Dexter seems to have an array of human emotions and connections and an sex drive. He’s portray less and less as someone who loves hunting and kill people and more someone who needs to find justice and stop bad people.
    Unlike Walter White, Dexter is never held accountable for what he does and quickly moves on from major events (his wife being murdered) with little recourse. Even the people near him aren’t effected by anything that he does.
    Jesse and Debra have fairly similar stories. Jesse is messed up by Walter and (spoiler) wants Walter to be punished for every wrong he’s done. Jesse saw Walt as a father figure, but, now Walt’s needs to pay.
    Debra finds out her brother is a serial killer and she kills a boss/friend to protect him….. something she gets over or at least she’s been to a functioning adult. At this point, why did she need to be kill LeGuerita (sp?) if it doesn’t matter?
    This series would be perfect if they had just ended after season 4, and have Dexter falsely accused of murdering Rita, and have a voice over where he thinks soon he’ll be the one strapped to the table.

  10. I accidentally walked into the room while my wife was watching and I hadn’t seen the episode yet. I looked up just in time to see Vogel get slashed, and thought, “hmmmm.. oh well”.

    That’s how lame Dexter has become. No matter how it ends, I simply don’t give a shit anymore.

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