The Six Most Soul-Sucking Video Games

How many hours did you spend playing video games this weekend?  And I mean anything. 10? 20? More? The latest technology in video games is constantly evolving and new ways of sucking the life out of all of us are coming to fruition each day.  Isn’t it awesome?  Put it this way: there have been many tales of chronic video game addiction in the news the past few years, but I thought it was time now for a look back to see what the most soul-sucking video games really have been.

6) Halo

halo

Pwn.

I’d say about 90% of the time, gamers play Halo for casual fun, which is of course, what video games are meant to be. However, there is a contingent who plays it obsessively, and an even smaller percentage that are just completely consumed by it. These are the people who play in tournaments for money, and if you happen to stumble into a game with them, you’ll have more fun sticking your 360 controller in a blender.

My friend used to take my headset and talk to four-star level fifty generals, saying things like, “Do you know what a vagina looks like?” It’s funny, but the thing is, people don’t realize exactly how much time it takes to play 10,000 games of Halo. Let’s say each game is 10 minutes long plus five minutes of in-between match making time. That’s 2,500 hours, or over 100 24-hour days of Halo.

5) Counterstrike

counterstrike

8 v 1? No problem for a pro.

Counterstrike has about the same level of addiction as Halo, except it’s even harder to play it casually. More often than not you won’t find a safe haven for new players (or noobs as you’ll undoubtedly be called). You have to be really damn good to even start to have fun, whereas in Halo you can just dick around on Vahalla in the Warthog turret if you want.

Not sure if you’re addicted? Well, it’s apparently a condition so widespread they’ve even developed a quiz for it with questions like “Does your clan have scrims?” and “Do you think of CS as a sport rather than a game?” Mmhm, and how many members of the cheerleading squad do you think the captain of the Counterstrike team lays in a given week?

4) Diablo

diablo

Now we’re getting in deep. No more of this FPS baby stuff, this is some hardcore role-playing addictive shit. Any game with levels is inherently dangerous, especially one like Diablo where it takes as long to get from level 98 to 99 as it did from levels 1 to 98. You don’t want to mess around with something like that.

And now with Diablo III on the horizon, I fear I won’t be able to resist the call, as two months of my life were blacked out of my life from Diablo II, before I uninstalled the game when I realized I was missing out on better things. I came across a sad forum post while looking up info for this article. It reads:

“I’ve been addicted to Diablo 2 for the longest time, pretty much done everything you can do in that game, but I think it’s time to move on.”

I thought this would be followed by something like, “I’ve realized there’s a lot more to live than clicking a mouse 500,000 times,” but alas, it continued:

“Can anyone suggest something similar to Diablo 2 that still has the hacking/slashing and lots of different weapons/armors/etc? Must have free multiplayer.”

Sigh. Another soul lost.  And now for the top 3……