Unreal Movie Review: I Am Number Four
An alien that happens to look exactly like a good looking human is sent to earth by his parents as their society lies in ruins. On his new home planet he’s told he’s there to protect its citizens, and is equipped to do this with superpowers that develop over time. He’s an alien trying to fit in as a regular teen, on this, the only world he knows.
Now multiply times nine.
Yes, I Am Number Four is almost exactly a clone of the famed Superman fable, though for nine superpowered aliens, not one. The reason why becomes clear when you see who wrote it, Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. The duo have spent years honing their craft on Smallville, the 10-season CW show about Superman’s early years. Here their jump to film with a similar plot hardly seems like a leap of faith.
Hipsters don’t use digital cameras.
But I Am Number Four suffers from practically exactly the same problems as Smallville. Too much focus on bullshit high school melodrama, and not enough superpowered action until almost too late in the game. Combine that with a propensity for over-extention (it’s desperately clear this movie wants to be at LEAST a trilogy, much like Superman’s formative years turned into Superman’s formative DECADE), and it’s a tale that more than likely will be left unfinished.
I Am Number Four is definitely attempting to create a new superhero intellectual property (it’s based on a series of young adult books), and wants the film to be a star-making vehicle for its star Alex Pettyer, but it’s a tough sell. In Smallville you can put up with the far-fetched plots, campy villains and wooden dialogue because at its heart, it’s still a show about Superman, which is inherently worthwhile.
The same can’t be said with the young aliens of I Am Number Four, who right off the bat suffer from an incredibly awkward title, and a hero who doesn’t even have a name. The film adds a driving force to proceedings, so Number Four (Alex Pettyfer) just isn’t sitting around baling hay. Rather, he and his fellow survivors are being systematically hunted down by a rival alien race, the comically named Mogadorians, who plan on taking over Earth once no more numbered teens are around to protect it with their rapidly developing powers.
Gee, never seen this before.
The problem? There’s been some sort of executive decision to make the world-eating Mogadorians the film’s only comic relief, and it completely changes the tone of the film when the feared evil bad guys are making funny faces at kids in cars or berating nerds about their taste in comic books. They look and speak like baddies pulled straight out of a bad Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, and if the series is looking to create effective mythology, they hit a big pothole by making these guys our heroes’ ultimate nemeses.
So what does the film have going for it? After all the completely gratuitous exposition attempting to humanize our lead alien by making him stand up for a dork at school (Callan McAuliffe) and fall for the quirky hot girl who takes pictures of everything (Diana Agron), it actually gets quite enjoyable once the aliens all start shooting blue and red lasers at each other.
There are only two of the nine aliens prominently featured in the film, and it’s rather cool they’re given a plethora of powers rather than just one. They apparently all get super strength and agility, but they have added bonus powers to boot. The female Number Six can teleport and shield herself, while our hero can move objects with his mind and shoot flashlight beams out of his hands. The hand-light really is an absurd power for the vast majority of the film, and he looks goofy running around like he’s trying to start a rave. Only later do his hand lights actually prove useful when upgraded, but until then it’s definitely in the running for world’s lamest superpower.
It’s exactly as ridiculous as it looks.
But between the teleportation, telekinesis, blade and gunplay, there are some awesomely action choreographed scenes near the end of the film, that are cooler than any I’ve seen from the sci-fi genre in years. Sadly, by the time the film starts being cool, it’s over, and we’re forced to wait for a sequel that I highly doubt will ever come. I was interested in watching a next installment in the ensuing fifteen minutes after the credits rolled, but ask me tomorrow, and I probably won’t give a shit.
3 out of 5 stars
well, there’s a film i don’t ever need to see.
This looks terrible and it’s offensive that this Caruso dude gets to direct Preacher. Also, ‘a show about Superman’ is also a lame idea, period. Smallville has never been good and Superman’s never been anything but boring (except in his older years, like during Kingdom Come).
i actually read the book and the book is extremely good. so im gonna end up watchin it anyways. and as always the book is waaaay better than the movie
Timothy Olyphant is in it and he’s always awesome.
The movie focused too much on the high school bullshit, but overall I thought it was a decently enjoyable film. Granted I didn’t pay to see it.
I wanna know what’s in that fucking box
I agree though I rarely agree with your assessments. Instead of the boring high school bullshit I wish they would have spent more time showing his training as I find it hard to believe that he was never taught to fight when that us what he was born for. The characters are pretty one demential too but it has potential to be pretty good especially at the end. Since Smallville is ending maybe they can just adapt it for the CW. May number 5 an emo in a band and one of tgem a cheerleader and you have a hit on your hands. It may even run for 10 seasons.
the trailer reminded me of the movie push from last year. Needless to say, I’m not going to be fooled twice.
Saw this one on a two for one special after watching Unknown. In any case, left the theater thinking the movie should have been about #6 who seems to be the bad-ass. The teenage stuff was very banal and not realistic–at all. I figured I was not the target audience when I found myself rolling my eyes a bit too much. Film felt waaaayyy longer than it actually was. Like Mikey, I also want to know what’s in that box, and for that alone, I want the sequel–that I will again see on a two for one special.
I too read the book. It was really good. Characters were more three-dimensional and became less of your typical stereotypes tv tries to place on teens. His training actually wasn’t emphasised in the book either. Most of his fights he won on pure instinct/ adrenaline when he fought his school bullies (how original) and when fighting the aliens he only killed one on his own; the rest he had help. To make a long story short: book better than movie. Get used to it folks, its never gonna change.
Ah geez give it a rest so what it’s like Superman big deal it was fun, had a good storyline and a big finish. I enjoyed the shit out of it and will see the 2nd. It was long enough to be interesting and give each character some depth.
Only thing that would make the next film perfect is a nice shower scene with Christina Hendricks and opening the box to find it was just a stash of porn since he’s not supposed to have a girlfriend.
And to find out he has to stick a charger up his butt so his LED flash hands will work.