Ten Words and Phrases that I Would Banish from Gaming Forever

I believe in free speech. Most of the time.  Sometimes I’m just too fed up with people to care about the Constitution, and if I was supreme emperor of the universe, I would take these ten words and make it a federal offense to say them in a game. If you did, a squad would come to your house and summarily destroy your console or PC as you watched.

Perhaps that’s a touch extreme, but I think you’ll agree with me on at least a few these.


This is it. If I could have this one, I wouldn’t care about most of these other ones. NOTHING good or meaningful has ever been followed by the word noob. If uttering it aloud or in text got you instantly banned from a game for a day, we’d all be better off.


Nothing says “I’m thirteen” like calling someone a fag here in 2012. Yeah, I grew up using it as a slur too. We all did. But then do you know what happened? I GREW THE HELL UP. I don’t go around throwing racial slurs and “fag” isn’t any more acceptable. Which reminds me, every racial slur should be on this list as well, but I don’t have the space.

“u mad bro?”

This is what assholes say when you call them out for being assholes. Either they’re intentionally griefing or just being a dick, and if you have the balls to fight back, this is usually the response you get. Followed by:

“qq more”

QQ means crying, which I believe started in Starcraft, and this is a continuation of the taunting above that’s annoying as all hell when you confront a negative player on your team or the other.

“report plz”

Many games have a reporting system where you can report players who overuse all of these words. That’s all well and good, but the system gets abused and there’s nothing more annoying than having nine people threatening each other with the report button for the duration of the game just because they’re doing something crazy like getting killed by players better than them.

“ur mom”

I thought we were past this, but then I booted up Xbox Live again and sure enough, it will never die. Along with “fag,” there is no faster way to reveal your true age than to bust out this gem.


Not to say people aren’t trolls when you play games by intentionally playing badly or messing with you, but I’m just so sick of this word my ears are practically bleeding when I hear it. It’s up there with noob in the sense that nothing worth hearing surrounds it, and not everyone trying out a different playstyle is “trolling” you.


See also: Back the in kitchen jokes. It’s no secret that online gaming is hell for anyone who purposefully or accidentally reveals they’re a girl. It is ASTONISHING how shitty girls are treated online, and I always wonder who the hell these boys are who have been raised to call girls they’ve never met sluts? Funnily, they’re likely the same kind who would never dare talk to one in real life.


I hate that guy who hides in the corner of the room with a shotgun too, but there’s no reason to dismiss this as a strategy in a game. Sometimes its necessary for say, sniping, but even for Mr. aforementioned dark corner, it’s a really, really boring way to play and can be easily countered by anyone even halfway decent at the game.

“half-life 3”

Not something heard in game but across gaming sites and forums? SHUT UP WE KNOW IT’S TAKING A LONG TIME FEEL FREE TO PLAY THE OTHER 10,000 AWESOME GAMES THAT HAVE COME OUT SINCE HALF-LIFE 2.


  1. Limitus October 17, 2012
  2. Sara Clemens October 17, 2012
  3. dolaction October 17, 2012
  4. Emanon October 17, 2012
  5. GrandWazoo October 17, 2012
  6. trashcanman October 17, 2012
  7. GrandWazoo October 17, 2012
  8. Vangelis Sofronas October 17, 2012
  9. David R October 17, 2012
  10. Jon October 17, 2012
  11. LazyStef October 17, 2012
  12. jediguy October 17, 2012
  13. What? October 17, 2012
  14. Paul Tassi October 17, 2012
  15. Frank October 17, 2012
  16. mark miller October 17, 2012
  17. Matt October 17, 2012
  18. Charlie Ward October 17, 2012
  19. Mr. Right October 18, 2012
  20. Andy October 19, 2012
  21. Ace October 22, 2012
  22. Summer December 30, 2012
  23. GnomeSlice December 30, 2012
  24. Zaggnita December 31, 2012
  25. SirTrollsAlot April 18, 2013
  26. Mr. Yoke July 21, 2013
  27. tyler July 21, 2013
  28. Becca July 21, 2013

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