Six Peculiar Performances from Christopher Walken

The Country Bears

What makes it exceptional: It is a movie based on a Disney ride, for Chrissakes. Also, Walken was nominated for a Razzie for his performance

For the few nerds out there who do not know, a razzie is like the Oscars, but for bad films. That should give you an idea of how well you are going to receive this movie.

The thing is, just like the brilliantly underrated movie Mouse Hunt, Walken seems to be having fun here. It seems like anytime he is given free reign to play as wild or crazy a character as he wants, he just takes the reigns and runs. In some cases, like this one, that craziness makes a dismal, unwatchable film somehow more watchable. In this case, though, only slightly.

Note how he is looking this robotic, lifeless bear in the eyes as he delivers his line. It is called dedication to your craft, people.

Ok, so try to grasp this as I tell it to you really slow: Christopher Walken plays an evil banker who is trying to forclose the home of a group of redneck, banjo-playing bears. Wow, when you read it like that it sounds like it could be the best film ever made. Rest assured in knowing it is not. Not even close.

As you watch this film, you will be tempted to drive screwdrivers or pencils into your eye sockets, but every time you have them in hand, on screen walks Christopher Walken as Reed Thimple the Third ( as if he would be named anything else ) and saves the day. Not literally, mind you, because he plays the bad guy, but in the sense that you don’t hate him and you do hate the bears in this film, is he really the bad guy, or is he the unsung hero? I know I just blew your mind, shhhh, it’s ok. *Places a finger over your lips

Shoot The Sun Down

What makes it exceptional: Walken plays a cowboy whose “weapon of choice” are shurikens

Even as I am writing this, and I KNOW for a fact that this movie is subpar, I cannot help but read that and think: Walken played a cowboy ninja in 1978? And it is NOT the best movie ever? It really wasn’t, but rather than sit here and tell you how dull and slow it is, I would rather tell you that I hope some film maker is smart enough to rewrite this movie, keep Walken in it, but make it as ludicrous and over the top as it should be.

Yes, that is INDEED a ninja cowboy about to make out with Lois Lane.

Walken plays a badass whose name is Mr Rainbow, so maybe they should rename his character, too. But keep the ninja throwing stars and the cowboy atmosphere, because just the fact that Walken rocked the ninja cowboy thing way back in 78 shows you how streets ahead of everyone else he is.

Also, worth noting, because I don’t actually think any of you will take the time to see this boiling piece of excrement, that in the climax of the film (spoiler alert) Walken is tied down in the desert so that vultures will peck him to death. I won’t tell you if they succeed or not, but I will tell you this: This movie may suck, but all the elements were there that said it would be a classic. There were ninja cowboys being (potentially) pecked to death by vultures. Come to think of it, it is worth seeing for that scene alone.

Other Notable Christopher Walken moments:

Role as generic bad guy who dumps disabled lady out of her wheelchair on episode of Kojak

Walken’s attempted “cooking show” that The Food Network chose not to pick up ( WHY NOT?!!!)


Walken delivering an amazing reading of 3 Little Pigs for a British talk show, in homage to the classic Simpsons joke

Walken REALLY DID read for the role of Han Solo, stating, “ I don’t even know that I know it was called Star Wars. I’m sure I was terrible.”

Here we see Walken, holding a crappy painting of himself, or what may be an accurate painting of Val Kilmer. We will never know.

One if his cinematic heroes was Bugs Bunny. “ I think Bugs Bunny was one of the most interesting movie characters of all time. His rhythms, his intelligence, his attitude is very amazing.”

I can almost HEAR all you guys rushing to your Netflix right now, ready to stream some delicious Christopher Walken madness, and I can’t say I blame you. Is he over the top at times? Yes. Is he menacing and charming, all at once? Yes, somehow, he is. But therein lay his charm. When you are getting a Walken performance, you never know which Walken is going to show up, and honestly, that is half the fun.

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  1. I’ve read somewhere before that the reason Christopher Walken is in so many questionable movies is because he never turns down a part if it’s offered to him. Apparently he considers it such a gift that he can make a living by acting that he feels it would be wrong to not take a part.

  2. How is “Mouse Hunt” underrated? It was a bad rip-off of every Tom & Jerry trope from beginning to end. Walken was Walken, and that was fine, but that’s like saying a manure pile was underrated because somewhere in it was a silver dollar the cow happened to eat.

  3. lol! Love this article! I suddenly have gotten the urge to watch Weapon Of Choice by Fatboy Slim’s music video with him in it 😉 HAHA Thank you 😉

  4. I’m not sure why you’re saying Brainstorm’s terrible. I thought the concept was interesting, and the tone was just right. Okay, so it’s not the best thing in the world, but it’s hardly “terrible”.
    I was also lucky enough to see it in the cinema, where the effect of the increased aspect ratio during the brain sequences could be fully appreciated.

  5. Suicide Kings.

    I still don’t know how to feel about his character in that movie. Good natured, and funny, and gives props to Ira, then…the end…

    “Between the boots and the bum, you’re down 3 grand!”

  6. Great list. I might take out Brainstorm and insert “The Rundown” the The Rock vehicle in which Walken does demented Walken as the villain. Crappy movie, vintage Christopher.

  7. You know what movie I have seen that was on this list was, Puss In Boots. It was very odd yet semi-entertaining. I was surprised when I first saw Christopher Walken in the movie though.

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