Seeing Movies in a Theater Has Become Almost Impossible


As excited as I am to see Avatar this coming Sunday – I already bought my ticket for IMAX 3D, ‘cuz I’m a nerd like that – there’s a part of me that’s dreading the experience.  Going to the movies used to always be an enjoyable escape for me, but these days I find myself more selective about which theater I want to go to than I am about the actual movie I’m going to see.  The reason has nothing to do with theater location, screen size, or sound.  No, those are all secondary considerations.  Frankly, I try to find a time and a theater in which the least amount of inconsiderate people will be present, and I find that this task gets harder and harder every day.  I’m sure I’m not alone on this, and this is perhaps long overdue – but inconsiderate people have made it nearly impossible to fully enjoy a movie in the theater.


Maybe I’m becoming more crotchety as I get older, but I really can’t remember so many rude and obnoxious people going to the movie theater when I was younger.  Hell, even when I was in high school and law school, it was rarely a problem.  Now, though, it seems as if there’s no escape.

I saw Drag Me to Hell in Times Square a couple weeks after it was released.  I’ll never see a movie in Times Square again.  I tried my best to focus on the movie and enjoy it, but several groups of people were talking throughout the entire movie.  Not certain individuals, but groups scattered throughout the theater.  Conversations were taking place in front of me and behind me, and people weren’t whispering, either.  Nope, they were talking as if they were on the street without a care in the world.  Once someone in the back started yelling out every time there was a suspenseful scene, I went into the theater’s lobby and asked for my money back.

When Paranormal Activity rolled around, I went during an afternoon to see it at the Kips Bay theater in Manhattan.  Once again, talking and shouting persisted throughout, except this time, it was from a couple of kids sitting with their mother.  The mother did absolutely nothing to discipline her children, and when one member of the audience – who must have been as annoyed as I was – asked the kids to be quiet, he was greeted with vulgarities and laughter.  The mother, of course, did nothing.  Another movie ruined, thanks to inconsideration on the part of my fellow movie-goers.

Kips Bay was always one of the “safest” places to see a movie, but now I really don’t have any safe places left.  Every time I go to see a movie, I have to anticipate that it’ll be ruined by other people.  Whispering here and there is fine, but full-on, normal-voiced conversations throughout the movie?  You’ve got to be kidding me.  At this point, an expectation of silence is completely unrealistic.


This isn’t cool, either.  At all.

Of course, it goes far beyond talking, too.  I don’t care if it doesn’t make any noise, texting during movies is not OK.  Can you really not be away from your phone for two hours without reading or sending messages to someone?  Every time someone sends or receives a text, the bright white screen on his or her cell phone distracts everyone else in the theater.  I don’t need to see a movie in perfect, serene conditions, but little white lights flashing up all over the theater during a movie is incredibly distracting.  Wait until the movie’s over, texters.

Of course, there are people who decide to answer their ringing phones and speak to the person on the other end during a movie, so maybe I should just be thankful that the texters aren’t talking.

But instead of just bitching and whining about how horrible people behave in movie theaters (and I have a lot more anecdotes, but I’ll spare you), I’ve actually come up with a decent solution.  I know that many people – maybe some of you – are not like me and don’t think that a movie theater is a place for silence and discipline.  You’re inconsiderate and you’re wrong, but I also know that you’re not going to stop acting like assholes.  That’s fine – you can keep going to the movie theater and bothering people around you with your boorish behavior.  For the more considerate people like myself, well, I propose that some theaters (either new or existing) require adherence to a few basic rules, and failure to abide by those rules results in removal from the theater.

It’s really quite simple.  I’d like a couple of ushers (or bouncers, whichever you prefer) to stand in the back of the theater.  If someone uses their cell phone in any way – for a text or to make or receive a call – or if their phone rings, the usher simply walks over to the person and tells them to turn off or silence their phone.  If it happens again, the person is removed from the theater.  The same thing goes for talking.  You’re warned once, and if you still can’t control yourself, you’re removed.


Excuse me.  You’re going to have to leave for being a selfish bitch.

I’d think that people who want to make noise in theaters will avoid seeing movies where rules prevent them from doing so.  And people like me, who like to enjoy their movies in uninterrupted silence, will flock in droves to these new theaters.  In fact, I’d be more than happy to shell out a few extra bucks to see a movie if it meant that any jerk would be removed for being inconsiderate.  More than happy, really.  Ecstatic.

I know that people generally suck and don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves, so expecting this trend of inconsiderate people in movie theaters to die down is simply wishful thinking.  It’s only going to get worse.  As I see it, there are two ways to deal with the problem: either stop going to the movies (which I don’t really consider an option), or have some theaters start punishing people who ruin an otherwise enjoyable experience for everyone else.

Or I may just bring a pistol to Avatar and open fire on the first moron whose phone goes off.


  1. Bigdog December 17, 2009
  2. Al December 17, 2009
  3. Joe December 17, 2009
  4. FullestJ December 17, 2009
  5. Nate December 17, 2009
  6. Pepe Veraz December 17, 2009
  7. Bert December 17, 2009
  8. Paul Tassi December 17, 2009
  9. Bigdog December 17, 2009
  10. Madison December 17, 2009
  11. hyuri December 17, 2009
  12. UltraMarine1302 December 17, 2009
  13. Madison December 17, 2009
  14. Nattyb December 17, 2009
  15. Dave Narby December 17, 2009
  16. Cheryl December 17, 2009
  17. Adam December 17, 2009
  18. Alex December 17, 2009
  19. Madison December 17, 2009
  20. Ugo Strange December 17, 2009
  21. Adam December 17, 2009
  22. Madison December 17, 2009
  23. Josh December 17, 2009
  24. Josh December 17, 2009
  25. moe December 17, 2009
  26. Laura December 17, 2009
  27. MacGyver1138 December 17, 2009
  28. RobG December 17, 2009
  29. Ryan December 17, 2009
  30. Priest December 17, 2009
  31. DaveDave December 17, 2009
  32. Gill December 17, 2009
  33. chelsea December 17, 2009
  34. Lagrange December 17, 2009
  35. Daniel December 17, 2009
  36. Jaromir December 18, 2009
  37. inviktus December 18, 2009
  38. Cara December 18, 2009
  39. Pingback: Cuban Linx – Bobby Did It | The Rap Up December 18, 2009
  40. Patrick December 18, 2009
  41. matt December 20, 2009
  42. Jason December 21, 2009
  43. Jenn December 23, 2009
  44. inviktus December 23, 2009
  45. Liam January 7, 2010
  46. rich w February 20, 2010
  47. starscream February 20, 2010
  48. Madison February 20, 2010
  49. Art April 11, 2010

Add Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Mortal Kombat Movie
Should Hollywood Stop Making Video Game Movie Adaptations?
10 Humongous Plot Holes in the Star Wars Franchise
May the Fourth Be With You: The History of “Star Wars Day”
MCU Characters Whose Costumes Got Worse Over Time
Riot Games Content Coming to Xbox Game Pass
KLONOA Phantasy Reverie Series Key Art
8 New Games Releasing In July 2022 That You Need To Check Out
Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Possible Starter Evolution Types
Can The Xbox Series X Win The Console War?
10 Things You Didn’t Know about The Witcher’s Yennefer
Watchmen Jeremy Irons Ozymandias
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Watchmen’s Ozymandias
Who Is Gotham’s Solomon Grundy?
Explaining Black Sky from Marvel’s The Defenders
Marvel Fortnite Comic Run to Start in June
Kylo Ren
5 Things You Might Not Know About Kylo Ren If You Only Watched The Movies
Lore Olympus
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Lore Olympus
The Top 10 Most Popular Web Comics Online Today
How Cloud-based Logging Is Influencing Gaming Experiences
Why Web Performance Optimization Matters
Using Log Management Tools to Monitor Your Web App
Server Monitoring Tools That Provide Uninterrupted Gameplay