Five Movies That Might Have Been Exponentially Better With R Ratings
4) X-Men Origins: Wolverine
In general, I think PG-13 is a good spot for superhero movies, but I wish they’d made an exception for this X-Man. Hugh Jackman is the perfect casting choice for Logan, but if you follow the comics even a little you know that PG-13 isn’t really his style, bub. I didn’t hate Wolverine as much as most fans seemed to, but if anyone gets the time to go back and fill in those plot holes, could you throw in more claw carnage while you’re at it? Or at least consider some Kill Bill samurai shit in the sequel?
5) Jurassic Park
I want to see an R-rated Jurassic Park out of morbid curiosity, even if it’s terrible. Picture this: Avatar–style CGI, Aliens–level gore, and…um, I dunno, some boobs sprinkled in too, I guess?
And hey, maybe a Gremlinsesque sex scene for Newman, as long as I’m ruining my childhood.
Toss a smidgen of Barry Manilow into the background score and we’re in business.
Just changed my mind. Nix the sex scene.
There are some pretty inane arguments in this article… it’s depressing actually, and I guess points to someone keeping the raunchy (unfunny) comedy movie in business.
Really, “some boobs sprinkled in”? That’s what you’re looking for?
The rating has nothing to do with the movie. If you know anything about the MPAA it’s that everything is relative. Go watch some 70s-80s “PG” movies and you’ll hear plenty of innuendo and maybe even see a couple of boobs (Airplane, anyone?).
Plenty of movies shoot for the “R” rating because they know that people will perceive it as being grittier or bloodier while in fact it just means they sprinkled some needless nudity (Roger Corman, anyone?) and F-words (District 9?)
Huhh hearing that about the Cornucopia scene doesn’t bode well. I hope it’s not actually true or just that it means they made some minor changes.
Just thought I’d mention that I love Spiderman 2, but I really felt a little more blood, explosions and much more brutal fights and conversations would have made it even better. Instead it comes off looking very cartoony…which in a lot of ways it is, but I would have preferred it to be slightly less obvious.
I’m surprised you didn’t mention “Terminator: Salvation”. Admittedly, it needed a lot more than an R rating to fix it, but still, having Terminators that actually… oh, I dunno, terminate would’ve been a GIANT step in the right direction.
Couldn’t agree more with The Wolverine though. Would love to see Wolvie go all Stabity-Freakin-Death uncut on some poor sap who had it coming.
Anyone else worried about The Expendables 2 being PG-13?
Oh man, I was actually depressed for a day when I heard EX2 was gonna be PG-13. I think the “Hitler’s bunker” video response to the rating summed up my feelings exactly, so I’m not gonna repeat my thoughts here. I’ll just say this, every time an action movie series tries to go PG-13, it fails.
Mad Max 3
Robocop 3
Die Hard 4
Terminator 4
Conan the Destroyer
Alien vs. Predator
Alas, back in 2003 I pointed out that they make PG-13, then give us the unrated dvd to make more sales. It’s all marketing. Artistic integrity is gone. Guess I’m repeating myself after all, huh?
I disagree with pretty much all of these except for Wolverine. I would have enjoyed a movie starring him and torn free of the constraints of PG-13. But that’s because a lot of the character’s nature is woven in with extreme bouts of violence.
I don’t think you need an R-rating to deal with “personal torment,” as you claim for Harry Potter.
What with this and your other movie pitch article, I wonder if you’ve somehow confused being gritty with being good.
Nice list. Wolverine would’ve been better but it is the least feasible. No way they would’ve turned a cash grab with a PG-13 rating into an R-rated movie.
I don’t know about Harry Potter. It’s dark themes were well-served within its rating and more actual violence wasn’t necessary.
I want to see Dark Knight as R-rated. It would be interesting to see what kind of trury disturbing and twisted things Joker can do if not constrained by movie rating system.
Was killing a guy by stabbing him through the eye with a pencil, all the while acting like it’s a fun magic trick, NOT twisted enough for you?
The Dark Knight. Imagine what they could have done with The Joker with an R rating instead of PG-13.
Terminator: Salvation and Live Free or Die Hard are the most obvious examples of how lame and watered-down a franchise can get when the suits force it to be PG-13.
I didn’t care much for the first Expendables, but the only thing I generally enjoyed was the over-the-top violence of the climax. With the sequel being PG-13, it’s completely pointless. And with all due respect to Chuck Norris, he turns 72 on March 10. The only thing he’s in danger of breaking is his hip.
I do think a master filmmaker can work wonders with PG-13, but they’re few and far between: I don’t need an R-rated Dark Knight, because Nolan was able to work wonders within that rating. (Granted, it helps that it was a studio film: Knowing the MPAA, that might have been handed an R if it were an independent.)
Wolverine would have been a million times better as an R-rated movie, and would the new one they’re working on now, but Fox won’t ever let that happen.
As for Jurassic Park, check out Carnosaur some time: It’s the Roger Corman version, insanely cheap and cheesy, but it delivers some of the R-rated goods you’re looking for. It would be great to marry that with actual competent filmmaking and production values — like you, I was 15 when Terminator came out, and it remains one of my favorite films — but it’s entertaining in its own way.