Five “Horror” Films About Inanimate Objects Ruthlessly Killing People

The Refrigerator

All my stomach problems stem from constant fridge usage, so this one hits close to home.

Okay, with all due respect , I THINK this 1991 movie (yes, you read that correctly) was sort of poking fun at movies like Death Bed, but even then, that might be me looking too deeply for gold in a nugget of shit. Anyway, The Refrigerator is exactly what you think it would be like: terrible. Yet somehow, kind of awesome. Like the scene where the dude opens up the fridge, and didgeridoos are being played for the soundtrack, and an odd, tiny (french?) guy comes out from behind the Aunt Jamima pancakes and says hello.

Yes, that actually happens. Here, have the fist ten minutes, on me.

Additional minutes will cost you, though.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ1_pG8jIoU

This is ten minutes of pure magic. Thank me later. IF YOU LIVE!

Hausu

Man, Tori Amos’ piano playing has gotten even more erotic as of late.

There is little for me to say about this movie that has not been said on multiple other sites before, so I won’t go into it assuming you have heard it all already,  but the piano scene in this movie is a game changer when it comes to inanimate objects that kill and/or eat people. And the bat shit insanity of this film merits a viewing from every single person ever. Just trust me on that.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0NWIxl2VJk

The ass-biting scene is pretty stellar, too.

Shameful Shout-Outs:

Any movie that has a doll, or many dolls, attacking people. Could have filled the list with just those, but that woulda been too easy.

Sorry, but not even remotely scary. He looks like a young, confused transvestite (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

If you like these stupid ramblings, feel free to check out my site. It’s finally getting me death-threats. Not literally, I mean some of the readers. If it was LITERALLY giving me death threats, I would go make it into a movie so it could be on this list.