Dexter Review: “Are We There Yet?”

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Alright Dexter, congratulations. You’ve managed to go from “terrible” to “confusing,” which is something of an upgrade, I suppose. This week’s installment raised so many questions I can’t even keep track of them all, and I think that my long running theories are going to be proven false. Though I can’t explain how, exactly.

Unfortunately, to get to anything interesting happening, we had to wade through several painful scenes where Dexter and Hannah try their best to convince the audience they’re in love. After all this time, I still don’t see it, and the conversations between them in every scene were just painfully uncomfortable. The show really, really wants us to believe this is Dexter’s one true love, but there is Just. No. Chemistry. Dexter spends their conversations explaining things the audience already knows (“I’m hunting down this kid who blah blah blah”) and they talk about nicknames they have (or don’t have) for each other. Gripping stuff.

Even Hannah’s stand-off with Deb wasn’t remotely tense. After all that build up, it just came down to “You’re not gonna shoot me.” “Ugh, fine.” Like, what the hell? And don’t even get me started on the fact that Hannah is the world’s hottest internationally known fugitive, and she’s waltzing around Miami without bothering to get so much as a dye job or don a pair of sunglasses. I get suspension of disbelief, but come on.

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“You didn’t even change your hair? Are you mother****ing serious?”

The big trick the night pulled was the reveal that Zack did not kill Cassie, but merely was framed for doing so via an incredibly awkward explanation involving a razor sharp car door that I still don’t quite understand. The question then becomes…who has motivation for framing Zack? The immediate thought was Quinn, but that doesn’t make a lick of sense as A) Quinn isn’t crazy enough to murder someone to catch a suspect B) he’s asking around about Zack and C) that would be f***ing stupid.

Rather, the only answer that makes sense is Vogel, who is the only other person besides Dexter and Quinn who knows Zack is a killer. But then what the hell is her motivation? Did she just want to see what Dexter would do if he thought his protégé went off the rails? Another experiment? That seems like a reach, given how much she supposedly had invested in Zack’s training, but we really know nothing about her true motives.

And of course, the evening ends with Zack being killed by the brain surgeon, who is, surprise, not that other dead serial killer with a foot fetish. Who saw that coming? The obvious notion is that Vogel is the brain surgeon killer, but that doesn’t make sense either. There have now been two scenes where Vogel has been alone and appeared shocked to find pieces of brains delivered to her. One was a few episodes back and the other was this week as she’s frowning at a piece of Zack’s brain. Why would she be play acting to an empty room unless this is just explicitly terrible writing?

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Any time serial killers serve dinner I always assume someone’s eating human meat.

Rather, the only plausible theory I can come up with now is that this has something to do with her ex-husband, who is supposedly dead, and Vogel is talking about “an incident” that got her studying psychopathy that she can’t talk about. This guy could be stalking her and Dexter and Zack, and be orchestrating all this behind the scenes for…some reason. Or maybe it’s a killer who killed her husband?

But I also hate this explanation because it involves an unseen villain we know literally nothing about, and there are only four episodes left now. To spring some random villain on us at the last second would be a crappy way to end things.

So either I’m right about Vogel’s mystery man, or the show will ignore the scenes of her acting surprised and she’ll be the killer, or the mastermind is some ghost who we do know from Dexter’s past like Doakes or Lundy or Lumen or someone else whose sudden appearance they couldn’t possibly explain at this point.

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“I’m doing brain surgery motherf****er!”

None of these explanations seem worthwhile to me. The show has surprised us with brilliant twists in the past, but it’s been years since they’ve really pulled one off. Could they really have some masterful endgame in mind and be hiding it this well? It’s really hard to imagine that’s the case.

I’m sad to see Zack go because he was actually really funny this episode (“Awwww gloves!”). Talk about your underdeveloped characters. I think there was potential there, once it was revealed he didn’t kill Cassie, which felt too obvious. Too bad he needed to die to throw more plot twists into the mix.

So, what are your theories? Who is the brain surgeon killer? What is Vogel’s role in all this? Where is this all heading? For once, I’m not sure of anything this season, but I’m still more worried about the explanation’s eventual stupidity than I am awaiting its brilliance.

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23 Comments

  1. I agree Zack was actually funny and interesting in this episode and then they just dropped him which is a shame. Would have loved to see that develop more. I actually would have loved to see the guy who was making the video game and bought the ice truck killer hand developed more but I guess we all have to move on from that failed plot point sometime.

    All signs point to Vogel or her husband and the brain surgeon killer and both would be totally terrible for different reasons which you addressed.

    My bat shit crazy theory? Harry is alive and the brain surgeon killer!!!! At this point nothing would surprise me.

  2. I’m currently going with Matthews.

    Yeah, yeah, but stick with me.

    He was in on Laguerta investigating Dexter and kept trying to get her to stop.
    He has a long history with Dexter, Vogel, and Harry… he could have known all along… he could have a personal history with Vogel… he called her in.
    He is suddenly (and without explination) back in charge of the police force giving him a larger role this season completely out-of-the-blue.
    He REALLY wanted Quinn to stop tailing Zack.

    He is the only character on the show that I can’t find a hole in the logic for him being the killer. Handled well, it could be somewhat satisfying.

    Words cannot describe the anger that I will feel if it turns out to be some random character not introduced before now.

  3. @mjlaxnmd

    I like your Matthews theory. Like you said if they handle it well (thats a big IF) that could be pretty satisfying and somewhat interesting closure.

  4. It can’t be Vogel for the reasons you stated PLUS, why would Vogel choose Cassie when;
    A) Vogel never met Cassie, so why choose her?
    B) Vogel never knew Zack had interacted with Cassie, so again why choose her?
    C) Vogel was alone and surprised to find Zack’s Brain. Why pretend to be surprised if no one’s around?

    Also, is it just me or could Zack just as easily been Louis, the wasted potential from Seasons 6 & 7 that was dropped like 3rd period French for no good reason. Also, I’m not sure if you noticed the razor blade being lodged under Zack’s car door handle, that’s how he cut himself. Like you, I’m just going to go ahead and assume it’s her husband because at the end of the day who really cares ? I want Hannah dead, I want her family dead and I want her green house burned to the ground. Their *coughs* “romance” *coughs* is a drain on the very little plot advancement we’ve had so far. The Brain Surgeon is still alive, NO DUH! Dexter has a protege’ and it ends badly for him, WOW THAT’S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE! This entire episode was like a very bad sit-com about a Serial Killer Family…which is ironic because when I listened to the Dexter Wrap Up Podcast, one of the writers for this episode was originally a writer for sit-coms…go figure…

    As a plus, I think this is the MOST appropriate title of any episode of anything ever, because I was thinking that the ENTIRE time about the ending of this series, “Are We There Yet ?”…

  5. You know what what would have been an awesome end to the series? In the last season the big bad start mirroring Dexters kills, killing people who look similar, planting evidence implicating Dexter and stuff like that. Dexter tries to figure out who is doing this and its pointing to someone close to him like Deb or Matthews, lets say Deb. Dexter ties Deb to the kill table, he isn’t gonna kill her he just wants to know why. There is a heated conversation between Dexter and Deb who doesn’t know what he is talking about. Their Dad ways in and Deb asks who Dexter is talking to. Slowly Dexter starts to realize how fucking crazy he is. Dexter have killed at least 100 people over the course of the series. How could their be that many serial killers all in Miami? The big bads victims is Dexters victims not Debs. Then it ends with Deb walking Dexter into the police station.

  6. The entire seasons plot episode by episode actually got leaked a while back and has been 100% accurate on literally every episode thus far. The Brain Surgeon is actually Cassie’s boyfriend (he also killed Cassie and framed Zack to get Dexter’s attention) and is Dr. Vogels son. His name is Saxon. He also kills Deb. And the series ends with Dexter and Hannah running off together to live happily ever after.

    The series is fucking retarded and you guys are expecting way too much out of it. The series hasn’t been objective shit since the showrunner and most of the writes left after Season 4.

  7. It’s just plain stupid if the brain surgeon is a new character with 4 episodes left. I like the Matthews theory…it makes the most sense…I could also actually see it being Deb (but only if they go the split personality route…which they’ve done already). After all the stuff she’s seen over the years, she’s finally snapped…she doesn’t seem to have ANY remorse for shooting the guy earlier this season, but I don’t think they’ll go that way.

    Deb’s boss also crossed my mind, but that just seems like lazy writing if it turned out to be him.

    I’m going off into left field and suggest Jonah Mitchell. We know Jonah snapped and killed his mother and has been tormented ever since. We know Jonah wanted Dexter to kill him to end his pain and Dexter refused, driving away while a confused and furious Jonah yelled “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW”…Perhaps at some point he was under Vogel’s care? I could see that turning into something, but they need to spend some time developing that side of it.

  8. I’ve come to hate this fucking show with a passion and now only watch it because I have to finish the damn thing and put a stamp on it. So I’m just going to pretend I didn’t read that, Nen…but rest assured you pretty much just ruined the last four episodes for me.

  9. The shows first two seasons were great and since then has been nothing but a disappointment. I’m amazed they’re letting it end this badly but it’s what I’ve come to expect from this show.

  10. Bill, it’s not really like the show is even good anymore for it to be ruined. If you actually are still enjoying Dexter then you clearly are absolutely devoid of taste.

  11. I’m suspecting the brain surgeon is Dexters little kid. I had my eye on him ever since he broke the remote.
    Or it could be Masukas doughter. Who the hell doesn’t take 5000$ (was it that much?) from her father when he offers it to her to pay of her debts. She has to be evil!

  12. For all the confusion that episode stirred in my head, I just blanked out and laughed hysterically when Dexter says, “I should go.”

    Because Yvonne Strahovski probably hasn’t heard that before.

  13. Oh man, who the hell posts spoilers for a show on the review of it? I mean sure I’m just watching the show to see how bad the ending of it is, being a fan from years ago, but even so, goddamnit man. Way to ruin the fun for everyone who accidentally reads your comment.

  14. Nen: you just saved me from three more agonizing episodes. I’ve been watching this season to…well…”finish the damn thing,” as Tywin eloquently put it. The writers wasted our time with pointless subplots such as the sergeant exam and Masuka’s daughter. They should have killed Jamie off based on the following: (1) Aimee Garcia is a deplorable actress; (2) the whole jealousy bit with regards to Quinn’s previous relationship is both juvenile and annoying. Instead, they killed off Zach, the only character that brought depth to the season (I was actually beginning to believe that the quality of the season was improving). I’m going to go read The Dark Tower books instead. I hear they’re pretty good.

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