Debate of the Day: What Movies Have Been So Bad, You Stopped Watching Almost Immediately?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMGxkb1uHPM
This year, I was really looking forward to Lockout. Guy Pearce, sci-fi, what more could I ask for? But the reviews came in and told me to skip it, so I did, until this week. I sat down to give it a shot when it popped up on Netflix.
Ten minutes later, I was done.
Why? Well, turns out the critics were right. The special effects had been skimped on to the point of absurdity. The clip above gives you a taste of what I’m talking about when he hits the window like Wile E. Coyote, but there’s a chase sequence right after this that literally looks like it was rendered on a Sony Playstation. I don’t give much thought to visuals most of the time, but if you’re shooting a movie in 2012 and it looks like it’s 1993, chances are the quality of the rest of the film will probably match the effort you put into the effects. Five minutes later, Guy Pierce’s accomplice gets caught because he drops his gun in a crowd and it accidentally shoots a cop. I just threw my hands up and walked out of the room at that point.
So, that leads into today’s question. What movies have you seen that have been SO terrible, that you couldn’t make it past the first 5-15 minutes? Please state the movie and the tipping point scene in question if applicable.
Step-up 3. We saw it was available on Netflix, and my wife was curious. After 10-15 minutes, we were laughing so hard at the ridiculousness, but we were still so annoyed at it’s lack of real thought. We shut it off, and put on a Seinfeld re-run.
The only time I ever walked out of a theater was when I went to go see Gothika.
I don’t even remember enought about it (almost 10 years ago now) but it couldn’t have been more than 30 minutes into that horrible piece of crap.
Necromantic
I dare anyone to sit all the way through it.
Gigli, I wanted to see if it was as bad as critics had said.
Oh dear god it was. I made it maybe 12 minutes before I was so pissed off that my TV was in danger. Never again.
I couldn’t make it more than 15 minutes through the Men Who Stare at Goats. It remains the only movie I’ve ever spent money on to rent and then turned off and immediately returned, saddened by my lost cash.
I don’t think there was an exact tipping point for me, but about 15 minutes into it I just came to the realization that it was a dumb story that seemed to be trying to have the air of Ocean’s Eleven and failing miserably. Everything about the first 15 minutes was just off putting for me, which surprised me considering the great cast.
this is going back awhile but i walked out on Dude, where’s my car? not only did i immediately regret buying a ticket but it was the beginning of my hatred for ashton kutcher. sean william scott is okay though.
“The Family Stone”, starring Diane Keaton and Sarah Jessica Parker.
There’s no specific scene that makes it unwatchable – it’s just terrible right from the start.
Basically, Parker plays a slightly uptight fiancée who has to meet the guy’s family for the holidays. And the family hates her. Before they even meet her. Whatever she does – they hate her. Whatever she says – they hate her. They are supposed to be like, some cool liberal folks, but the more you watch, it becomes apparent that they’re actually just a bunch of malicious and closed-minded jerks who hate this poor woman because she wears her hair in a bun.
The Scorpion King.
Wanted to see another movie, but it was Rated R and I was underage, so me and my friends decided Scorpion King would be a good substitute (it was the opening day for the movie, hadn’t read reviews). Just plain awful, I wanted to walk out. My friend insisted we stay, he drove. I ended up taking a nice nap.
To bad you didn’t keep watching Paul because it does get better! (In a Kurt Russell Escape from New York/ L.A. kinda way)
I sat the through the entirety of “Year One”. In a theater. Clearly I have no breaking point.
@Caleb, yeah man. I actually was entertained by “Lockout”. It is what it is.
i watched lockout and loved it, thought of it as a great deadpool movie. had you replaced the actor with deadpool, lots of dp pun and what.. it was a diehard type film.
My wife and I wanted to walk out of the theater in the middle of Transformers 3 but I was there with my in-laws who paid for the (3d) tickets.
I agree with Caleb K. That opening scene had awful special effects and I was all WTF when I saw it but that’s the only time the movie looks like that. In the end it was pretty decent. Unlike Wing Commander, which is the only movie I’ve ever walked out in the theater… just awful.
Social Network. SO MUCH TECHNO-JARGON!!!
Last air bender. Drive angry. Man with the iron fists. Vacated the premises on all 3
Bridesmaids (2011). The scene where two women try to top each other while giving a speech. The scene just went on and on and each time one tried to top the other, we all groaned. And finally decided to stop watching.
Gosford Park (2001). Nothing happened in the first 30 minutes, nothing. We knew the movie was long and we feared it would continue to do so. We were impatient at the 15 minute mark and another 15 minutes of “where’s the plot” was the deal breaker.
Tommy Boy (1995). Unfunny comedies are really hard to watch. There was one good scene, in which Tommy accidentally poured M&M’s into car’s air conditioning system. Sadly that didn’t salvage the movie in our eyes.
Friday (1995). Talking about unfunny comedies.. this didn’t tickle my funny bone at all. Nor my friends’.
I do understand these are just my opinions and someone might think these movies are good and rightfully so. Many of these movies have decent or even good IMDb rating. Personally this just tells me that you can’t trust on that rating alone.
On a different note, these are some movies, which I have watched from the beginning to the end: Feast, Feast II, Double Dragon, Bloodrayne: The Third Reich, Species II, Species III, Species: The Awakening, Decoys, Thir13en Ghosts, In the Name of the King, In the Name of the King 2, The Scorpion King 3, Vampire’s Kiss.
Will Ferrell’s “La casa de mi padre”. I nearly went insane.
Red Tails, the opening aerial combat scene was so flashy it was boring and the dialog was trite.
Sex and the City 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Only reason I didn’t walk out as soon as I heard the sphincter-tightening voiceover is that it would have gotten me in a world of shit with my girl at the time. TWO AND A HALF HOURS. I swear, I wanted to vomit, or have a stroke, or something, anything that would justify leaving the cinema.
I can’t say for sure, but the man with the iron fists was horrawful!! I just forwarded to the fight scenes, forwarded through those and just settled for the scene where RZA punches Batista’s face in and deleted that shit from hard drive toot de suite!!!
But more of a random topic which I think you should address for 2012 Paul. Can we officially say that 2012 was pretty much an ode to Blade Runner with pretty much every major sci-fi film except for Prometheus having these overcrowded, dirty, dystopian Hong Kong inspired Cities with neon signs everywhere? Cloud Atlas, Lockout, Total Recall, Looper(a lesser offender), and Dredd!!
It would be interesting to tackle the topic. Its sort of like Space Odyssey’s influence on today’s space films.
I tried watching the first episode of Firefly, because people around these parts practically cream their jeans at the mention of it, but I stopped after maybe 10 minutes because I thought it was corny as hell.
^ first negative thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about Firefly. ever.
Paul – Thanks for the heads up on lock-out. I was pretty stoked on it but I suppose I’ll give it a pass now.
I turned off Burn After Reading about 30 mins in.
I must be the only person alive who thought Lockout was awesome. By no means a good movie, but Guy Pearce was the King of One Liners in that movie and that alone made it worth it.
Anyway, Date Movie. Made it like 10 minutes in and left the theater and demanded my money back. (fun fact: most theater chains will give you a refund if you leave before the half way mark. I’ve done it with AMC, Cinemark MJR (Michigan theater chain), and Harkins)
Batman and Robin.
i also loved lockout, i even bought it on bluray. once you get past the first bit, and they get up in the jail, its halarious. the one bad guy is really good. and pierce’s whole script is awsome one liners. i suggest you take a second look at it.
i’ve not made it through a few movies, mi casa de la padra or what ever, frankenweenie, a couple c-class asylum movies, i was forced to watch this is 40 in its entirity recently.
I’m with a few other on here in regards to Lockout. I’m not saying it was a “good movie”, but I found it to be pretty entertaining.
@Wermine
I LOATHE that scene in Bridesmaids. I’m glad I made it past that though, because it’s a pretty solid movie otherwise.
don’t go to a movie looking for guidance, or validation. Go to be entertain, and throw realism out the window. THen you will allow you self to enjoy a film.. don’t go to an action movie and expect Oscar gold, don’t go to Scorsese film and expect meet the fAukers
Watchman, the first rape scene pushed me to the edge the second got me out of the theater
What? Lockout is an awesome movie! The cheesiness is intended. It’s as much an homage to mid nineties sci-fi actioners as Slither is to eighties monster movies. I got the DVD for christmas (having already seen it) and I’ve already re-watched it three times.
The original Iron Man movie. The biggest pile of crap I’ve ever had the misfortune to watch and still cannot understand why it was so huge. Wooden acting, dreadful script and was there a story in there somewhere?
I watched it because the family watched it but I’ll never get that time back and it was such a waste.
The Watch, I love Richard Ayoade’s work in the IT Crowd but this movie was the biggest pile of steaming X@$# ever seen, also the latest take on The Thing (I mean WTF man)
That being said, I really enjoyed Battleship (Old School Tongue in Cheek Actioner which makes no sense but is the perfect popcorn flick)
“Marie and Bruce” is the last one I remember.. Had to turn it off after 5-10 minutes before we would destroy the tv. Was extremely annoying to watch.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I never saw it in theaters, and recorded it from TV a while back. I couldn’t even get past the first 20 minutes. Only time I’ve recorded a movie and deleted it without finishing.
Bugs Life.
Matrix.
Serbian Movie ( just kidding – that one is a hilarious joyride!)
4 Christmases: I knew it would be crap, my hand was forced into the cinema by a girl who convinced the rest of our friends.
> 20 minutes after I just took off and everyone followed: what a huge load of goat crap
Anaconda: Dat snake is made of fail
Lockout was fcking awesome just because of Guy Pearce (well not considering Maggie Grace). One of my new years resolutions is to learn his every line from the movie and use it in real life conversations.
If u don’t count the movies i fell asleep while watching, i have to say Freddy Got Fingered (dunno why i even rented it, probably was high) & Charlie’s Angels 2 (same crap as 1 but without Bill Marray and Sam Rockwell= MEGACRAP).
Battleship:
As an actual naval officer this movie was completely offensive. For those that haven’t seen it, the first 10 minutes consist of an upstanding naval officer celebrating his loser brother’s birthday at some dive bar in their hometown. The loser brother is telling his older brother how he’s going to get his life together this year. Cue smoking hot girl walking through the door who has absolutely no reason to be in this bar. Girl walks to bartender and asks for a burrito. Bartender says they’re not serving food anymore. Loser brother says “I have an idea to make her want to bone me!” He leaves the bar, breaks into the convenience store across the street, and steals a burrito. The police show up and taze him as he’s about to walk into the bar and hand hot girl the burrito. His brother bursts out of the bar as his brother is being arrested and says “That’s it! You’re joining the UNITED STATES NAVY with me!!”
5 years later: Upstanding Lieutenant AND Smoking Hot Girl is madly in love with him…
That’s when I turned it off…
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Unbelievable mess.
Karate a muerte en Torremolinos” (roughly translated as Deadly Karate in Torremolinos) a Spanish ripoff to Fist of Fury (search jucantaro in google to find the deadly primigenial monster.
“Revenants” with its sex scene : “I thought that vampires couldn’t have sex… – Of course we can, we only need motor lubricant…”
Dobermann, I admit I was sold with the trailer scene of the revolver missile launcher. The rest of the movie sucks…
The Expendables
Transformers 2
Boondock Saints 2
All garbage.
Lockouts special effects were atrocious but once the main character gets to the prison they become better and less a part of the movie. All in all it was a fun movie with a lot of memorable one liners. Don’t let the ridiculous motorcycle chase in the first few minutes put you off.
oops forgot to contribute.
For my wife and I Munich and The Last Exorcism were not watchable. Munich went back to movie gallery who nicely gave us another rental for free.
Total Remake. Dreadful.
The Master of Disguise. I always really liked Dana Carvey, and “Clean Slate” was mindless good fun, so I decided to check out “Master of Disguise”. The intro to the movie in which the main character is identified by name as Pistachio Disguisey was a dire warning. I think I made it another five minutes. I shut it off out of sheer embarrassment for Dana Carvey. “Corky Romano” seemed like sophisticated humor in comparison.
I almost shut off “Sound of My Voice” after the first secret handshake scene. I mean, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to burst out laughing when that happened. I’m glad I stuck around, but wow, for so much of the plot to hinge on that ridiculous handshake, the filmmakers should have come up with something a bit less silly as secret greeting. (Jeez a nonsensical nursery rhyme would’ve been better).