Dear Taylor Kitsch,

Hi Taylor, it’s me, Paul. I’ve been your number one fan ever since I first saw you glare menacingly and run your hand through your hair as Tim Riggins in Friday Night Lights. Well, that’s not true. There are probably about 200,000 teenage girls who like you more than me, but I appreciate you as much as a dude can acceptably appreciate another dude.

That’s why we need to talk. I have been excited, as I’m sure you have been, to see you become a full-fledged movie star. It’s hard to make it out of TV, and even harder to start headlining movies that have hundreds of millions of dollars behind them.

But seriously Taylor, even if the allure of being the leading man in a film is irresistible, you have to start picking your projects better.

The first time I saw you in a movie was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The movie was god-awful on every level, but who could turn down the chance to play Gambit, even in a terrible movie? I can’t fault you for that.

Though the hat was an obvious mistake.

But now in 2012, you’ve managed to star in BOTH of  two of the worst box office failures of the year, John Carter and Battleship. Much of this is awful luck, as neither are specifically awful films.  John Carter is actually a lot of fun, and while Battleship is stupid, it’s no more so than any of the Transformers movies, and those are consistently bathing in cash.

I get that you want to be a star, but between these two movies, I’m a bit concerned you’re going to come off as “risky” when it comes to landing another role as big as these. It’s not your fault the movies tanked in any way, and you were quite good in each of them, but you have to  just do the math in your head when picking movies. Did you really think John Carter would be the next big sci-fi franchise? Did you think spending $250M on a civil war vet jumping around on Mars was going to attract audiences? Did you think spending almost that much on a board game movie was going to turn out well for anyone involved?

I understand that both of these opportunities must have felt like your dreams were coming true, as both were huge roles in huge movies. But you have to know when to walk away some times, and do films that don’t hurt your “brand” even if it’s in a lesser role. I’m happy to see you in Oliver Stone’s Savages across from Blake Lively and Aaron Johnson. Obviously I haven’t seen the movie yet, but from what I can tell, it’s exactly the type of film you should be starring in.

You should have known from the costume alone this wasn’t going to work.

In short, don’t be afraid to say no to blockbusters. If you’re already Ryan Reynolds, you can afford to take a hit like Green Lantern. But if you’re Taylor Kitsch, and not exactly a household name yet, you’re doing more harm than good when you sign on to be the face of movies that are quite obviously not good ideas. And to do two of these just a few months apart? Yikes.

Best of luck to you Taylor. Your brooding and troubled characters always manage to be likable, and that’s one of the best qualities you can ask for in a leading man. Just make sure the films you pick are going to do your abilities  justice.

Similar Posts


  1. I have never seen an episode of Friday Night Lights…was it really that great? I never hear a bad word about it and yet it gets cancelled? The mom from American Horror Story was in it too yes? Love her.

  2. @Cheryl
    Friday Night Lights is incredible. It was cancelled by nbc but Directv saved it and it got to go a full five seasons. Since when has a show getting cancelled prematurely meant it wasn’t good? Firefly, Arrested Development, Terriers etc. Good shows get the axe all too often, just ask Community.
    Yes, Connie Britton is in Friday Night Lights as well as American Horror Story.

  3. I hope he reads this somehow. I’ve read he’s been trying to land small supporting roles in smaller films lately, but has been beaten out by people like Casey Affleck and Garrett Hedlund. I’ve also heard he gets upstaged by Aaron Johnson in a major way in “Savages,” though people who’ve seen it say he was solid in it, too. I’m not convinced any other actor could’ve made “Battleship” a hit, though.

  4. I think John Carter failed because of the terrible movie title. They should have gone with “A Princess of Mars”. This would at least explain that, #1, the movie takes place on Mars, and #2, there is a princess who is from there. Where as “John Carter” simply explains there is a guy in this movie named John Carter.

  5. I’m sorry, but if you really think that Wolverine was ‘god-awful on every level’ then you’re just lying to yourself. The cinematography was fantastic, for one…

  6. Battleship (haven’t seen it, and won’t) has made over $260m so far worldwide. Might suck, but it’s making money. And with this normally movielicious holiday weekend being pretty light on new releases, it’ll make more.

    Also, Disney was a pretty safe bet – they don’t flop much.

  7. Seriously? I think your hating on movies just because you didn’t like them and are blaming them for things that shouldn’t be bothered with.

    While the Title could have been better, I loved John Carter and saw it 3 times. I haven’t had the change to see Battleship but I will be this weekend–My friends and family who HAVE seen it tell me its right up my ally and I’ll love it: they’ve never been wrong when they’ve said that it in past. I thought he has done an amazing job in his rolls that I have seen. X-Man Origins: Wolverine was a very good move and he did an inspired job as Gambit.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.