Hi Taylor, it’s me, Paul. I’ve been your number one fan ever since I first saw you glare menacingly and run your hand through your hair as Tim Riggins in Friday Night Lights. Well, that’s not true. There are probably about 200,000 teenage girls who like you more than me, but I appreciate you as much as a dude can acceptably appreciate another dude.
That’s why we need to talk. I have been excited, as I’m sure you have been, to see you become a full-fledged movie star. It’s hard to make it out of TV, and even harder to start headlining movies that have hundreds of millions of dollars behind them.
But seriously Taylor, even if the allure of being the leading man in a film is irresistible, you have to start picking your projects better.
The first time I saw you in a movie was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The movie was god-awful on every level, but who could turn down the chance to play Gambit, even in a terrible movie? I can’t fault you for that.
Though the hat was an obvious mistake.
But now in 2012, you’ve managed to star in BOTH of two of the worst box office failures of the year, John Carter and Battleship. Much of this is awful luck, as neither are specifically awful films. John Carter is actually a lot of fun, and while Battleship is stupid, it’s no more so than any of the Transformers movies, and those are consistently bathing in cash.
I get that you want to be a star, but between these two movies, I’m a bit concerned you’re going to come off as “risky” when it comes to landing another role as big as these. It’s not your fault the movies tanked in any way, and you were quite good in each of them, but you have to just do the math in your head when picking movies. Did you really think John Carter would be the next big sci-fi franchise? Did you think spending $250M on a civil war vet jumping around on Mars was going to attract audiences? Did you think spending almost that much on a board game movie was going to turn out well for anyone involved?
I understand that both of these opportunities must have felt like your dreams were coming true, as both were huge roles in huge movies. But you have to know when to walk away some times, and do films that don’t hurt your “brand” even if it’s in a lesser role. I’m happy to see you in Oliver Stone’s Savages across from Blake Lively and Aaron Johnson. Obviously I haven’t seen the movie yet, but from what I can tell, it’s exactly the type of film you should be starring in.
You should have known from the costume alone this wasn’t going to work.
In short, don’t be afraid to say no to blockbusters. If you’re already Ryan Reynolds, you can afford to take a hit like Green Lantern. But if you’re Taylor Kitsch, and not exactly a household name yet, you’re doing more harm than good when you sign on to be the face of movies that are quite obviously not good ideas. And to do two of these just a few months apart? Yikes.
Best of luck to you Taylor. Your brooding and troubled characters always manage to be likable, and that’s one of the best qualities you can ask for in a leading man. Just make sure the films you pick are going to do your abilities justice.