Children’s Hospital is the Ultimate Palate-Cleanser

Children’s Hospital is an under-the-radar show.  It started in 2008 as one of the many weird and wonderful web series to come out of the Writer’s Guild strike (the best, and most well-known, of course, being Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog).  It was conceived by The Daily Show‘s Rob Corddry as a kind of off-the-wall satire of Grey’s Anatomy and ER, focusing primarily on how ridiculous those shows portrayed the lives of doctors and their endless interpersonal drama.  The show started off as 5-minute webisodes before eventually finding a home on Adult Swim and upping the length to 10 whole minutes.

It also happens to be insane and brilliant.  Not insanely brilliant, but insane and brilliant in the sense that it’s comedic genius and also basically a madhouse.  There’s only the loosest semblance of plot and character – what little there happens to be is mostly fodder for running jokes.  And the cast, which reads like an alt-comedy dream team roster, is free to let completely loose.  And boy, do they ever.  Here are the reasons you’re going to want to catch up.  And once you’re caught up, guess what?  The Season 5 premier is today!

1. The humor.  This show is not messing around.  In the first five minutes of the first episode there are jokes about AIDS, cancer, retarded people, and 9/11.  The jokes are rapid-fire and completely off-the-wall.  The tone is loose and feels almost like improv or sketch comedy at its finest.  And as the series goes on, they go for broke will full-on “concept” episodes (like on Community with the paintball or D&D episode where they’re taking on an entire subgenre of film or television).  There’s an entire episode called “A Play In Three Acts” set like an Our Town-style theatrical production.  There’s a Goodfellas parody.  There’s an “event television” parody where they do a “live” episode with various problems.

The style and tone are just perfect.  The running jokes, like the hospital being in Brazil (it’s 99% set indoors), or clowns being a race of people, or the show-within-a-show that is Newsreaders, complete with its own mythology – they’re amazing.  They hold the show together.  And the jokes themselves…

 

2.  It’s the perfect palate-cleanser.  It’s the easiest show in the world to watch while on a quick break from something.  The episodes are 10 minutes long, and with no real plotlines or long-term character growth to keep up with (besides some running gags), you don’t have to remember who’s dating who.  It will change episode to episode, and they’ll make a joke out of it.  In fact, they’ll make a joke out of everything.  The entire series is just a vehicle for jokes.  On paper that sounds a bit one-dimensional and shallow, but it works beautifully.  There’s a kind of purity to it.  And it’s not something everyone could pull off.  Which brings me to point number three..

3.  The cast.  Oh my god, the cast.  Each cast member has their own “thing” that’s almost a trope, however small, but it’s the one constant in the show.  Where shall we start?

Rob Corddry (The Daily Show), as Dr. Blake Downs, who’s always in clown makeup (a running joke is that clowns are a separate race of people) and believes in the healing power of laughter a la Patch Adams.

Trying to get a child to laugh: “There once was a man from Nantucket, whose penis was so abnormally large that he could reach it with his own mouth.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syd7lvj1zNM&list=PLC38610F34720A3E9

 

Rob Huebel (Funny or Die, also every good television comedy in the last 10 years.  Seriously.  He’s guest starred on 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The League, The Office, and more), as Dr. Owen Maestro, who is the needlessly competitive “jock” doctor and former police officer whose partner is frequent guest star Nick Offerman. (!!!)

Talking to former cop partner Nick Offerman: “Did you know in space there are no laws? We should go there.”

Speaking of Nick Offerman, he poses as a child to infiltrate ‘Ward 8’,  the section of the hospital for criminally insane children: “I got caught jerking off in my neighbor’s attic, so I murdered them.” “Yeah, I hear that. Attics are super-sexy.”

To Sy, telling him he won’t sleep with his sister again because he has a rule about sleeping with girls who look like Ray Liotta: “Sorry, no.  She’s totes Liotes.”

On why he can’t donate his urine: “I just got my navel pierced so I’m kind of unqualified. Plus I have AIDS.”

To Nick Offerman: “Can you arrest a kid for being a dick?” “If he’s a Muslim.”

On being a ghost hunter: “Blake, I’ll help you find it.  I’m a ghost hunter.  I’ve got my own night-vision cameras, tons of cool equipment.”  “Ghost sightings are manifestations of psychological issues.”  “Not true, Dori.  I’ve been able to see specters ever since that summer I lived with my uncle, slept in his bed with him.  So what do you say, guys?  You’re about to be molested.”  “Sorry, what?”  “I said, let’s go bust some ghosts!”

 

Megan Mullally (Will & Grace, Party Down, Parks and Recreation) as Chief, the Chief of Surgery, who is named Chief because she’s full-blooded Native American, and is “riddled with Parkinson’s.”

Teaching a self-defense class: “Generally, if it happens on Spring Break, it’s not considered rape.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FRoMXc2b28

 

Erinn Hayes (Parenthood) as Dr. Lola Spratt, who alternates effortlessly between the “only sane man” trope and the “clueless bimbo” trope, but what she does really well is play mean.

“It’s gonna be an 18th birthday to remember.” “Yeah, whether she lives or dies! Especially if she dies.”

On why she’s wearing a mink coat: “Well, Richard says the figurehead of a charitable organization has to look her best.  Also, this feels like angels’ pubic hair.”

(The fist-pump at the end is of my favorite subtle moments from this clip)

 

Ken Marino (Party Down, Veronica Mars) as Dr. Glenn Richie, who is Jewish.

To a concerned mother: “You know the old joke where the patient says, ‘Will I ever be able to play the violin again?’ and the doctor says ‘yes’ and the patient says, ‘Great, because I’ve never played before?’ Well, your son’s heart is failing.”

On being a Jew: “We have big hands, we’re good at math, and we can lift three times our body weight.”

Teaching Lola to dance, telling her she can shout out whatever she wants while dancing: “Just don’t use the n-word, that’s my thing.”

 

Lake Bell (Boston Legal) as Dr. Cat Black, who does voiceovers that sound like they’re profound at first, but end up either completely mundane or completely crazy.

Her predilection for dating terrible men is a running gag.  One guy stabs her and her swim teacher, another turns out to be a “professional rapist.”  Although it definitely doesn’t have anything to do with her real dad being in prison.  In one episode, an old doctor at the hospital turns out to be Nazi doctor Joseph Mengele (playing off the joke that the hospital is actually in Brazil), and Lola starts dating him.  When he’s taken away by agents from the Simon Wiesenthal center, Lola says, “Goodbye, daddy! I’ll miss having sex with you! That’s not my real daddy, I wouldn’t have sex with my real daddy, just Joseph Mengele.”

In her fake spinoff series, to ‘Mole Man’ Jason Mantzoukas (Raffi in The League): “Don’t sleep on the tracks, you’ll die!” “The tracks are where it’s warm!” “Get a dog.” “I’d just eat a dog.” “Well then get a blanket!” “Are you kidding? Blankets are delicious!”

 

Henry Winkler (Arrested Development) as Sy Mittleman, the middleman for the insurance company that owns the hospital.

On why his CB call sign is ‘Boston Strangler’: “Let’s just say I lived in Boston in the 60s, and I’m smarter than the police.”

Dating advice for co-worker Chet: “Just go over there and be yourself!” “Myself. My true, secret self.” “Maybe not that.”

(to a little girl) “Ta-Da!  It’s time to meet your new helper animal, Daisy.  She’s trained to help you do things you can’t do right now, like crossing the street.” “I hope it’s a dog.” “And I hope it’s a snake, because that’s what it is.” (pulls out a giant python)  The nurse: “Sy, is this your attempt to pinch pennies by not getting a real helper animal?” “Yes and no.  Ultimately yes.  I just assume a snake can do anything a dog can do.”

 

4. The guest stars.  Children’s Hospital, by its very nature (loose, flexible) and the various connections of the cast, can pull some pretty amazing guest stars.  Here’s an incomplete list of people who have been on the show: Michal Cera, Nick Offerman, Nick Kroll, Ed Helms, Jon Hamm, Lizzy Caplan, Kurtwood Smith, Jason Sudeikis, Sarah Silverman, Matthew Perry, Jason Mantzoukas.

5.  The fact that they go places that are absolutely bonkers.  They have concept episodes, they commit to the premise.  They drop plots and character issues at the drop of a hat if it’ll generate a laugh.

A 70’s themed “origin stories” episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3hS6DmGtqM&list=PLC38610F34720A3E9

A completely random dance at the end of an episode, where the lyrics are nonsensical but derived from the plot:

 

Children’s Hospital’s 5th season premiers tonight on Adult Swim.  Go watch it, or go catch up!  You can burn through the first two seasons on Netflix in literally three hours.  It’s well worth your time.