An Open Letter To Michael Bay: Please Stop This Madness

When I first heard Transformers, one of my most beloved childhood franchises, was going to be made into a big screen blockbuster, I was apprehensive, but undeniably excited. And how could I not be?  The prospect of those giant robots on the big screen was enough to make even the most closeted fanboy squeal with delight. Then when I heard that Peter Cullen, who provided the seminal voice for Optimus Prime in the cartoons, was on board, all the stars seemed lined up for this film to be pitch perfect.

Oh, except for that one nagging problem, Michael Bay and his directorial approach, which ofcourse boils down to making everything juvenile, shiny and explosive. BUT The Transformers were juvenile, shiny and explosive (in the most awesome ways possible), so still, this could have worked out. If it weren’t for the terrible  casting, the weak script which took too many liberties with the story, and the thinly veiled racism disguised as humor. Oh, and the gaping plot holes. But I will be DAMNED before I will let Michael Bay do to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles what he did to the Transformers, which is, ruin them forever. The following is my open letter to Michael Bay, pleading for him to stop the insanity before it is too late and he becomes the bane of every nerds existence.

Dear Michael Bay,

Hey man, how is it going? My name is Remy, and I writing you because I needed to talk to you a bit about your recent choice to reboot the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. But before I address the ninja turtles thing, I need to bring up this new Transformers reboot you are working on for the fourth chapter in your saga.

So you are SERIOUSLY already rebooting your reboot, which was already rebooted AT LEAST three times in cartoon form before you rebooted it? So this is a reboot of a reboot of a reboot of a reboot of a reboot? Please read that last sentence slowly to fully grasp how insane an idea it is. Even YOU get three movies in and can see that your movies suck. Wait, that was a harsh way to begin this, I am sorry. Bear with me.

So you intend to keep Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, but other than that, it is getting an overhaul, again? New humans, new story, new terribly cast girlfriends and unlikable leads? Why are you doing this to us? We were the ones that bought the tickets to the first one in hopes it would honor our childhoods. We are the ones that (inadvertently) made it huge, and you are thanking us by taking as many steaming dumps as you can on the franchise, before you throw it out in the ocean to watch to drown?

Wait, I am attacking again. Please, don’t disregard this letter. I apologize for the venom in my tone. This is just a very serious subject to me.

And also, Transformers looks like this. And they don’t shine like they are constantly covered in Vasoline and turtle wax.

Anyway, enough about The Transformers for now. I could go on for days but I will stop. There are more pressing matters at hand.

The matter I speak of is your current reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise.

Another franchise that is almost sacred to its fan base. What is going on? Do you have a mini death ray at your house, and in front of that death ray, do you have a a chart of all the shows we  loved as children? And when you are bored, do you just randomly fire your death ray at said franchises simply for your own amusement? Seriously, just so you know, that is how it comes across.

Now let me play devil’s advocate for a second and say that I do understand some of the material you are trying to bring to the big screen is not exactly easy to transfer from animation to movies. But let me follow that up with THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP TRYING TO DO IT? Why not just accept that people love these wildly insane things for wildly insane reasons and just let it be? Do you look at it like a challenge? Do you want to prove to naysayers you can  ruin make ANY franchise? Again, I realize my tone seems angry, but it’s justified, don’t you think?

The thought of you sullying these four with your hundred million dollar touch sickens me.

By the time Transformers made it to its third movie, it was just a massive action scene, and honestly, NO ONE could differentiate what was going on. There was a centerpiece action scene involving a falling skyscraper and a metal worm that probably was kind of cool if you could actually tell what was happening, but my migraine made me close my eyes by that point. A movie like The Transformers should be big and fantastic and loud and over the top, but not so much that even old school fans cannot tell which robot is which or what the hell is actually happening.

Plus, those terribly racial stereotypes you called robots in the second film,  and robo-testical jokes, and all the plot holes ( Shia TheBeef goes to Autobot Heaven, WTF?) What was up with all that? Watching the once brilliant John Turturro have to stoop so low as to deliver some of those lines made me cringe. How you help the mighty fall without even knowing it.

This is how Shia LeBeouf looks now, so it is safe to say the long term damage has begun to set it.

I am sorry, this turning into an attack (or has pretty much been one the entire time). And I am talking about The Transformers again, and neither of those are my intention here. I simply wanted to contact you, on behalf of every nerd ever who grew up in the 80s and is sick of having things we hold so dear ruined by those who, at the heart of it, have no idea what makes these franchises so wonderful in the first place.

I am not even addressing all the reboots you produced, or how you took all the charm out of 80s horror, therefore sucking out everything that made it so enjoyable. It is like you literally do the opposite of what seems like a smart idea, every time.

You know what movie was a MASSIVE undertaking, and many great directors have said it would have been impossible to make into a cohesive film that anyone would watch: Watchmen. But do you know why Watchmen did not crash and burn, and the reason that most fanboys can atleast ACCEPT it? Because Zack Snyder wanted to make that movie out of his love for the source material. With you, it seems more like you buy a franchise just because you can afford it, and you know it comes with a built in fan base, yet you care little for the material. And that is EXACTLY where you lose us.

The movie worked because the director truly appreciated the source material and did his best NOT to bastardize it. Kind of like the directorial polar opposite of Michael Bay.

Ok, back to the turtles. So now, already, even before the TMNT movie has a trailer or a cast, we hear that the turtles are now aliens, and you took the ” Teenage Mutant” off the title to make it hipper and edgier. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? IS SOMEONE PUNKING US? DO PEOPLE EVEN GET PUNKED ANYMORE? Now we know that you have said it was “marketing” that changed the name of the film, but the worst part here is that you want us to actually believe that someone ELSE has more power over your own movie title than YOU do? Now you are treating us like idiots, and we will not tolerate that, sir.

And you keep putting out press releases and interviews where you are telling the fans to “chill out” and that the turtles will have the same personalities and traits that made them so enjoyable in the first place. But how many directors have to constantly tell people to “chill out” before a film release? Very few, and anytime a director does a press release like that, it is often a reflection on that fact that he or she already KNOW they are mishandling the material, and they are just trying to soften the inevitable blow.

The sad thing is, this picture is not altered in any way. those letters constantly float around him.

Also, I know I am beating a dead horse right now ( a horse you would probably recast as a squirrel for no significant reason if you wrote this letter into a movie ), but did you know they released a reboot of the Turtles a few years ago? And did you know THAT reboot was a reboot of a reboot. When the “ninja turtles” first started out, first issue, black and white, they were brutal, silent killing machines. Seriously, it was like noir. There was very little dialogue and lots of death and arterial spray. The whole “pizza eating, surfer vibe” thing was kicked in later because the creators realized they were sitting n a merchandising cash cow.

So I am going to guess your “alien” turtles are going to be more akin to the pizza eating, chill dudes from the third generation comic book and cartoon, right? So again, this is you doing a REBOOT OF A REBOOT OF A REBOOT.

And lastly, before my head implodes, and for all that is holy to anyone good, we need to talk about April O’ Neil. This woman was NOT a bimbo or a Victoria Secret model. She was a f***ing journalist, who wore a yellow jumpsuit. I don’t know why she wore it, but dammit that is what she wore, and no one ever questioned it! So don’t you DARE mess with it. That woman was empowered and strong. She is way more of a Tina Fey vibe than a Megan Fox vibe, so if April is miscast, and sexed up, (which she INEVITABLY will be), we may come to blows. I honestly mean you no harm, but at that point, I cannot be held accountable for my actions. You have been warned.

Actually, please keep this brilliant woman as far away from this film as possible.

And if you read this and think it may be a satire or a joke, I want you to know just how serious of a plea this is for you to not mess this up. I actually looked into starting a KICKSTARTER fund to try and cease production of your film. Not jokingly, PAUL TASSI, EIC for this site can vouch for this. Sadly, there needs to be solid, tangible goal that is ACTUALLY achievable, or else it is against their rules. And for us to truly fund the cessation of your (ridiculously expensive)  film, that would cost us hundreds of millions of dollars for sure. But that should show you how serious were are about you getting this franchise right. We were going to try to PAY MONEY to stop it. Let that sink in for a moment.

I implore you, Mike ( I can call you that now, right?) reread this whole, entire letter right now. See that my anguish is palpable and that I represent the many. See how foolish it is an idea to reboot a reboot that has already been rebooted twice by reboots. We know it is hard to make things like ninja turtles make sense, but your fallback plot point that everything  “comes from space” is only going to make things more muddled.

All I ask of you really is take a step back, and look at it from OUR perspective. We don’t care about the little things:  Explosions are fine, man. No one is faulting you for those. Just put a little something called a “story” in between them. Also,  just because some beautiful model may be easy on the eyes that does not mean she is easy to watch attempt to act for two hours, so don’t make us suffer through that again, ok?  If you follow NOTHING else other than the two things I just told you when making this “Ninja Turtles” movie, then you are already ahead of the game.

It is said that every time a Michael Bay flaps his wings, an explosion happens, randomly, somewhere in a third world country.

And just a heads up, be aware of how you portray different races in some of your films. With the forthcoming ninja theme to your newest endeavor, in might be easy to make some fried rice jokes and such, and I am just going to tell you now, don’t do it. You LITERALLY cannot afford any more racial insensitivity after the twins in Transformers 2.

If Master Splinter becomes a walking stereotype, heads WILL roll.

Mike, you really are treading on very dangerous ground with us nerds. Please, just have a little respect. That is all we ask. These are shows that raised us while our absentee parents were trying to make a living.  So ultimately, when you insult those institutions, it is like you are insulting our parents. Our Teenage Mutant Ninja Transformer parents.

While there is still time, Senoir Bay, please. Make sure you know what you are doing here, because we hated what you did to The Transformers,  but we quietly got on with our lives. If you crucify any more of our childhood heroes, we may not be so easily ignored in our rage.


The thing about nerds is, you get enough of us together, and we get angry enough, it can get pretty ugly. I am talking swear words and a potentially overturned coffee table quickly followed by an awkward apology. Trust me, you do NOT want to be on the receiving end of that, let me tell you.

With utmost sincerity,

Remy Carreiro.

Final note to the Unreality readers: So we could not help but be curious about the KICKSTARTER to STOP Michael Bay and how well you guys would have received it. Paul and I think you guys would have definitely been into the idea, but due to laws and such, we will never know. But perhaps hypothetically, we could.

So, as a comment, leave the amount you would have (honestly) donated toward “ending the Michael Bay madness”.

The way we see it is, even if every reader would be willing to pay a buck, we would already be at a quarter of a million dollars, so who knows what we could have accomplished. Let us know what you think in the comments, and if any of you guys have a second cousin who knows a guy who cuts the hair of Michael Bay’s best friend’s niece, send this letter off to them. Mike needs to read this, stat.


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  1. I’d have paid $50 to stop Michael Bay from giving the camera to an epileptic monkey for another “action” film. Swerving the camera around violently like a drunken teenager does not make for a good film.

  2. After hearing about all the changes he’s making to TMNT (Teenage and Mutant are in the fucking title for Christ sake!), I would have given at least $100 to stop that madness.

    I’m very concerned with how the turtles are going to look. Since it’s Michael Bay, they’re probably all going to be CGI. They’re gonna be very shiney and glisten in all the lens flares. I will be way more pleased if they use practical effects and real people in costumes, like in the first movie series. The look of those turtles are way more real than any CGI I’ve ever seen

  3. 100 bucks. Easy. I wouldn’t even think about that amount; because the more I thought about it, the more I’d actually pay to stop that maniacal madman from rebooting this lovable reboot-plagued series.

  4. I would’ve kicked in $20. I didn’t seen any of the Transformers movies because the robot designs looked too busy and “extreme”. Then I heard they were loud and dumb movies and I thought “What’s the point?” I live in America. I hear and see loud & dumb every day. I don’t need to pay money to see it in a movie theater.

  5. I actually kindasorta like Michael Bay, crazy, I know. But the first Transformers was a legitimately decent and incredibly fun movie. 2 sucked and I thought 3 was actually alright. I absolutely hate what he has said about the turtles though, but whatever, if I don’t like what I see in trailers and what not I won’t fucking go see it instead I’ll watch the first movie for the 106th time on dvd. It’s annoying sure, but he’s not raping MY childhood, my ooze infused childhood is stilll intact. It’s the current generation that will suffer but if you’re so worried about them be sure to force your children/nephews/kidnap victims to watch the things you loved as a child.

  6. I’m on a budget with a new kid, but I would have kicked in $25. I know it’s not possable to stop the movie, but what about a kickstarter to fund a bunch of ads to warn people against seeing it.

    It’s a small enough goal to be able to reach, sends a strong message, and may impact the movie on the opening weekend.

  7. I’d easily thrown down $20. But I’m poor and still in school. Were I out, and making decent money, it would easily be in the hundreds of dollars. We need a Donald Glover for Spiderman-esque movement, here.

  8. I can’t see how he can keep the same characteristics of the turtles without the 90’s humour. That’s what made them awesome then but I doubt it will work for 2012. I think the best way to look at it is, our turtles from our childhood that were indeed teenage and mutant, are still there. These new turtles are not them. And so far I have yet to see a strong female in a Michael Bay movie, so I share your fear for April.

  9. Its Just a movie, yaar, let it go..There are bigger fish to fry , like insane governments trying to pass insane laws to to take away your rights. if you dont like the way the movie is shaping up, dont go for it , simple no? Even I’m a big fan of TMNT.Just cause some dumb director with a big budget wants to sully the image of a well-loved franchise, it wont hurt the originals. Liking these things is like having faith, KEEP IT BRO!!!

  10. i would have hit up $20, The Teenage Mutant thing aside, i was pissed at the alien thing because, towards the end they were a force from earth for earth. They fought aliens and extra dimensional enemies because Earth was there home. They were american teenagers fighting evil, THAT WAS THE CHARM. Now they will be inexplicably hip aliens, fighting for some douchebag they will run into, who will some how hold their key for defeating alien shredder. So has anyone else conjured up how they are going to remake his first transformers but with turtles? Thats exactly what i picture as i write this.

  11. @ sidley

    Welcome to unreality….this is what we do here so maybe you should relax, or you can go have your “serious” discussion about your vague political topics somewhere else.

  12. I would sign any petition to stop not only Micheal Bay from making this movie but also the movie companies and all other producers involved in this atrocity/project. I actually have been a fan of Bay’s films they are fun switch off the brain films, although I will admit that some are over the top. This all stopped with the 3rd Transformers movie, to date I have not and will not see this film. I had no problem with the replacement of Meagan Fox but you do not replace a character because you are pissed at the actress. When that character was replaced Bay invalidated major plot points of the first two films and instead of making a movie for people to watch and enjoy he made a film that was made simply to milk a franchise for money. Seriously, lets face it, young kids with no understanding of the story lines will watch anything, hence the reason the film made $352,390,543 in the US alone. I understand that a movie needs to turn a profit but that has been done with movies like iron man 1 and 2 without butchering the storyline and without aiming them at young children. As both my wife and I are herpetologist,The TMNT’s hold a place not only in our childhood but in our everyday life as we are constantly making joking references to them during our research. With Transformers 3 Bay showed that he is only interested in hype and money and I will not “chill out” and see the film and I will not accept the changes that are made regardless if it is Bay or someone else doing it.

  13. Probably $20 from me, although I maybe would have gone to $60 and pretended I spent it on a new game. Although, not seeing a horribly disfigured representation might actually be worth more than that.

  14. Why pay to stop someone from doing a project? Just don’t go see it at the theaters and you’re doing far more damage. Oh and don’t speak about it too because it’s free publicity.

  15. I’d gladly give $100, for the sake of art and filmmaking in general, to put a stop to Micheal Bay. I hate this disgusting man for what he has done to modern action movies and Hollywood extravagance. He has made it ‘okay’ for names on big budgets to product utter shit.

    If I get hipster Turtles, kick that up to $200…

  16. To all the people on the thread saying don’t see the movie, that would not stop him from pissing on franchise after franchise. A man like Michael Bay only listens when it comes to money, thus the idea of the kickstarter. Plus, WAY more people seem to be behind the idea than the few against it. That being said, I myself would have easily paid $100.00 to know I helped stop a behemoth from crushing sacred things under his thumb.

  17. if anything we need to stop seeing his movies, the movie companies dont care how bad it is, as long as he makes money they want more from him. i say we stop seeing his movies, hell dont even acknowledge it

  18. Nothing is going to stop them from making it, but we can all protest by not paying to see it. They have no regard for people, just money. They will find funding to support their habit of making movies to make more money, feeding the garbage to suckers willing to pay money to watch it. Foreign markets, younger generations – anything that has eyes.
    For the record, I would contribute anything I could to have movie houses boycot the films.

  19. I don’t have much money, but I would have tried to give $10 minimum to stop this movie. I’m more terrified of this happening than I ever was of any end of the world scare in my lifetime. I watch television now like something is going to pop up and kill me when the trailers for this start coming out. Maybe I’ll just lock myself up in my room and watch nothing but Anime on Demand until this movie is on DVD and is marked down on clearance.

  20. $30. I’m weary of the whole obsession of reboot existing franchises. I loved the J. J. Abrams’ Star Trek movie but it essentially ends any hope anyone continuing the post-DS9 canon.

    @Sidley. It’s just a [blog.] let it go..There are bigger fish to fry , like insane governments trying to pass insane laws to to take away your rights. if you dont like the way the [blog] is shaping up, dont go for it , simple no?

  21. I’d pay $20, but only because I’m a college art major and so am incredibly dirt-poor. If i had a decent job and cheaper expenses that $20 would turn into $200 easy. I went to see his first Transformers movie because, hey, Transformers! But honestly, I don’t remember much of that movie except some stuff exploding and the kid sitting behind me screaming “BUMBLEBEE!” I was in too much of an angry fog.

  22. $50 easy. That is about how much I would spend to go see the movie, in 3D (cause you know it will be), plus the massive amount of treats I will have to purchase to eat away my sorrows while I watch it. Might as well spend the money to save a beloved franchise than to watch it wither away before my very eyes.

  23. If you want to punish Bay, don’t go see the movie. If the movie bombs, it’s the best statement you can possibly make. The best warning to others, too.

    Really, though, you MUST HAVE the yellow jumpsuit? That’s important? Was it integral to her character? Was it her long lost father’s jumpsuit from the war? You gotta let go of the small stuff.

  24. We already are up to almost $1,100.00. in four hours. That works out to an average of a little over 250 dollars an hour. If we kept this exact (hypothetical) pace, we would be at, and I joke you not people, half a million dollars in three months. Wow, even MY mind is blown by this. That is kind of remarkable. Hell hath no fury like US scorned!

  25. @Remy Carreiro

    Obviously you’ve never taken any economics class, dimishing returns being what they are and all. You also wrote an article with a negative tone, which means every troll on the internet has to put in their $0.02 since you are pandering to them. Take it, because that’s the only money these people would really put forth.

  26. @Jim Lahey
    Thank you so much, I thought I might have to make a comment like that after reading down these stupid comments.

    You know what I say? The cartoon and movies ruined my ADULTHOOD because now I can’t enjoy the Ninja turtle comics because in my mind the turtles all have different colored masks! I’ll donate $10 to making a machine that can erase my memories of my childhood so I can enjoy stuff in the present.

  27. @ Jim Lahey @ Kienan,
    If you two don’t like the article or my idea that is fine, actually, truth be told, I kind of feed on people falling on either side of the fence with most of my pieces, so I have no issue there. Tell me am I am sucky writer and terrible mathematician, and I will take it all with stride. But don’t come on here and insult the readers and other people who commented before you. That is the internet version of kicking sand in someone’s face and that is not how we work here. Just be a bit more civil, and if you don’t like what you see, head elsewhere, but don’t hide in the shadows and hurl slings and arrows. That is just not needed.

  28. $100, easy. I actually LIKED the first Transformers because it was loud and noisy and cheesy and – c’mon, VEHICLES TRANSFORMING INTO HUGE ROBOTS.

    I apologise for the caps.

    But TMNT with no TM? Alien turtles? ALIEN turtles?? Absolute. Bullshit. &. Utter. Travesty.

    Then what the heck is Shredder supposed to be then? Rocksteady and Bebop? and Splinter? Aliens also?

    How convenient.
    (Again, I apologise for the caps.)

    On second thought, make it $200.

  29. @ Ness

    Pardon me, i should have clarified, The insane laws that i was talking about were things like SOPA, which affects our favorite sites like these. But Yeah i suppose this site is all about passionate fan love, so rant away. But its not gonna stop Dr. Bomb Bay from screwing up our favorite memories.

  30. Uhhhggg… okay I’ll play.

    You spend an entire article berating someone who will never read it, and then accuse me of slinging arrows from the shadows? I put my real name down. I’m not afraid of my opinion.

    You talk about how you hate that Micheal Bay is doing a reboot,
    then you say the cartoon is a reboot, then you talk about how you loved the cartoon?

    TMNT, if you remember correctly, was not a reboot. It was simply the 4th feature film, and the cannon fit *relatively* well.

    I can not believe you referenced Watchmen as not an attempt at a money grab.

    To quote your previous comment: “…if you don’t like what you see, head elsewhere…” Why do I feel like you just made the entire point of your article moot?

    I will be damned if some guy who’s written on here for two months tells me how *we* do things on this site. I’ve visited this site for over 3 years, and I want to come here and see some pokemon, Movie reviews, and Memes from the latest blockbuster video game. I come here to say “cool”, “neat” and “Awesome”, not “Damn him. Damn that Micheal Bay.”

    I hope you don’t read this, I really honestly do. But I know that when you see that “40 responses so far” you’ll think “I’m internet famous!” and won’t be able to help yourself. Here’s a lesson for you; I’ll paraphrase the great Jim Sterling from After you write an internet article, just ignore the comments, they take on a life of their own and you won’t like what you find.

    P.S. If you think Ninja Turtles is going to be worse than the 3rd film… god help you…

  31. Keinan, I, too, am a fan of the site, and have been for years as well, which is actually half the reason I got lucky enough to even have this gig. So props for being a fan, and again, if my writing does not entertain you, that is fine. I have no issues with that. There are quite a few writers on this site, and we all have very distinct voices, so I am sure there is someone who appeals to you. But all that being said, I just don’t know why you seem so angry about this. Pure satire, man. Meant for a laugh, nothing else.
    *”COWABUNGA!” or a similar pop culture line that alleviates this unnecessary tension through canned laughter.

  32. I read this website, and i’ve got to say, this is one of teh first articles i’ve ever read that really had me rolling my eyes.

    I hate the transformers films, they’re inane and boring. However they appealed to a mass audience and made stupid amounts of money (particularly outside the US). Why do people who’ve read a lot of comics wear such thinly veiled superiority when it comes to their favorite franchises getting rebooted? Are you some how a better person for having ‘read the comics first’? Isn’t that why hipsters are so disdained in popular culture?

    To present Watchmen as an example of ‘how to do it right’? Really? Watchmen? That film was broken. And it’s box office would easily prove that, especially put next to the combined box office of teh Transformers reboots.

    To make a serious argument about a comic being made into a good film, you need look no further than the recent batman films, which capture the darker edge of the comics (as opposed to the Clooney abortions, or the OTT camp 60’s TV series). And those films back it up by making ridiculous money.

    TL;DR watchmen sucked too. Use the latest Batman films as examples of ‘doing it right’. Money is all that matters in filmmaking, not ‘honouring source material’. ‘Nerds’ banging on about ‘comics’=hipsters.

  33. @Kienan

    …” I will be damned if some guy who’s written on here
    for two months tells me how *we* do things on this
    site. I’ve visited this site for over 3 years, and I want
    to come here and see some pokemon, Movie
    reviews, and Memes from the latest blockbuster
    video game. I come here to say “cool”, “neat” and
    “Awesome”, not “Damn him. Damn that Micheal

    This is the thing, we come here for all the things kienan said, before paul “pokefan” tassi became the dude at forbes, love the adoration & admiration for things we LOVE, NOT the obsession with things we hate. and its true you may be the owners of the content and stuff, but its OUR site too u know, has been since the past couple of years…you cant tell us to go elsewhere. and not to diss ur writing, but i didn’t get the satire in it.

  34. 100 bucks easy to prevent Michael Bay from ever making a movie again.

    1 billion to be allowed to kick his balls and anal rape with a life size Optimus Prime Action Figure.

  35. @unrealitylover

    I’m still here, writing like, six things a day to boot. And I’ve written plenty about stuff I hate.


    We balance a mix of negative and positive. Remy and I might have different writing styles, but I could have easily written a post with a similar sentiment.

    To those readers commenting, what would you like to see more or less of? It’s tough to please everyone, as almost everyone wants to see something different. A lot of people may have disagreed with this post, but there are plenty who appreciated it as well, so it’s tough to say we “shouldn’t” be writing stuff like this.

  36. Alright, I wasn’t planning on checking these comments again but I’ve had a good nights sleep and I have a clear head. I’m here to apologize, make a constructive criticism of the article, and put this behind me.

    While I stand by the points of my comments, I apologize that the tone got a little out of hand and I could have handled that better.

    For my criticism, I think that an article like this would have been the perfect opportunity to also tell us about all the reasons you love the turtles, e.g. “cowabunga”, how expressive the movie costumes were, finally beating the dam level in the original NES game, etc… Instead I think it was a little too negative.

    I have enjoyed your articles, Remy, and I’ll still read them, even if you did forget about a certain alien sacraficing himself to save a certain other alien race in your crying moments one.

  37. @Paul

    I know you still write stuff man! THAT’S one of the reason i have been coming here since the past 2 years. And wrt to the negative posts that you say that you have written. i think you have solved the debate over this post. You see all the contents of those posts is you, judging the quality of the artist or content as is, WITHIN THE CONFINES OF ITS MEDIUM, compared to higher quality content within that medium itself.

    The problem remy has is with Bay is that Mikey’s re-imagining the source material as per his vison which is at odds with Remy as he is a massive fan of both transformers and TMNT( as am i). Thus remy who is a fan of the source (Cartoon or comics) AS THEY ARE doesn’t like whats being done on the big screen. But hate it as you much you have to agree that both mediums are different with different audiences that require diffrent visions of implimentation .I too have suffered through the first three TMNT movies (although i liked the fourth movie). And Michael’s Vision seems to have succeeded with the transformers averaging about 800 million per movie. So as you said about EA in your forbes column, if you do not like it SHOW IT BY NOT SHELLING OUT THE CASH. That is what makes the most sense.

    However we do not want the passion to stop, we only took issue cos we were told to go elsewhere if we did not like what was written here. We know you guys rant cos you feel for the things you rant about, so keem ’em coming guys!

  38. Truth be told, I had no idea what I would coming to on this thread today, and I was a wee bit apprehensive, but how it played out is exactly why I love writing for this site. First of all, thank you Paul (he is the reason ALL of us are here, frankly) But truth be told, this was a stupid (albeit more silly than stupid) idea for a piece, Paul and I both knew that, but we also thought it might be stupid fun, which is why I think he OK’d it. What I admire most about this site is shown in how this thread played out. Anytime it feels like it might turn into one of those threads where people just tear each other apart, it turns into a civil exchange ( this has happened multiple times) and every time it does, it still floors me. You just don’t get that kind of mutual respect on other website’s threads, honestly, so kudos to you guys. First and foremost, you guys are right about the money thing, it would have NEVER worked out and we all know that, but for me, it was still fun seeing people say they would pay this and that. And @Kienan, you are 100% correct about how I should have given advice in the piece on how to make the film better, but the thing is, in my mind I did try and it was damn tough. Haha I am not too proud to admit that. By the time I reached the end of writing the piece, it hit me: This would be an incredibly tough IP for ANYONE to reinvent. But I was 2000 words in when that hit me. Again, I think the best articles garner reactions from both sides and I always have thought that way, and still do as a reader. So even though I get slightly defensive, I honestly D0 appreciate you guys and all you have to say, and even more so when you guys do it with the grace and class most web threads lack, so thank you for that, genuinely. We only become better writers when someone challenges us to think differently, and sometimes, you guys do that, so well played.

  39. YAY! A Happy ending! EVERYBODY! BEAR HUG!!!

    ) – – (
    / (o _ o) \
    \ ( 0 ) /
    \_)) ‘#’ ((_/
    #. .#
    ‘#. .#’
    / ‘#. .#’ \
    _\ \’#. .#’/ /_
    (((___) ‘#’ (___)))

  40. I’d have gladly given a $50 and I’m sure my girlfriend would have helped fund the cause as well – even if for no other reason than a great dislike for Mikey Bay. Actually, she says she’d give you a $100 to not ruin the image of TMNT alone. Maybe another $100 for the disgrace to the Transformers.

  41. No offense unrealitylover but that looks like someone left the pilsbury dough boy in the oven too long. If that’s what you were going for, then kudos my man. 🙂

  42. A small fortune in ramen noodles, or when converted from the official currency of broke college students everywhere, $5.

    But also, lots of vigorous protesting against Teenage Alien Turtles!

  43. I have a Idea for the transformers 4 an 5
    for the fourth one oultamus prime said to Sam I will tell you what happen before we came to earth an tolled his story of cybertron.
    an the fifth one the transformers go back to cybertron the government give them 1200 cars an planes an the other
    daseptacons followed them back there an brought sound wave back an megatron back then they found out that oultamus is the leader of cybertron an makes bumblebee a prime an fix his voice box an megatron gathers all the dead recruit an brings them back
    an jass is back an cliff jumper.

  44. I would have paid £10 to prevent this atrocity. As a responsible parent I’ve tried to educate my son in all the best 80’s movies and shows. Showing him turtles from space would have been tantamount to abuse and resulted in him being taken into care. Also this forum sucks as I can’t edit anything without some dumb JavaScript moving my cursor around.

  45. I’d have donated fifty bucks.

    This might sound a little extreme but michael bay is a monster, guilty of crimes against storytelling. As a kid TF was numero uno but I have fond memories of the totally radical tmnt of the early nineties. I would hate to see TMNT fans have to put up with a gem from their childhood being tarnished by the bay touch.
    I watched the first and second bayformers movies and while the first one was passable and not as crap as I had feared. With the first one having already seen the terrible leaked transformer designs it was clear that bay would never respect the source material and instead give us a disaster movie. And a crappy disaster movie is indeed what we got.
    The second one proved beyond doubt that bay is not a person capable of quitting whilst ahead. It took the moviegoing experience to new lows, it surpassed my worst expectation by a country mile.

    Ok so that’s my bay rage out of the way here’s what I think about stopping serial offenders like michael bay. Studio execs and the people that finance these monstrosities do it because they feel certain there is a pay off after the film is screened in cinemas. Find a way to warn people ahead of time that bay will shaft the turtles just like he did to the transformers and by paying to see just how bad it is, they’re giving him license to repeat the cycle over and over again.

  46. This is not a reboot. They are using the same characters from the original 3 films, AND they referenced Chicago several times. Its like calling Halo 4 a reboot. And, I would hardly consider the first Transformers a reboot itself, as this is the first time it was made a live action block buster. Sounds like a bunch of whinny fan boys that can’t be happy. No amount of many you can raise will make bay stop, because a new transformer’s movie just means more money.

    Get over it ; )

      1. No, but people loved watching a giant beast destroy the coast while playing good guy, while I was watching the obese offspring of King Kong and 98 Godzilla stumble around.

        I understand that they went back to the source material with Godzilla, but even Japan was complaining about his weight gain. The american 98 Godzilla was far better as far as physical build. This Godzilla was slower, clumsy, and just not easy to be taken seriously.

        I hate to say it, but I enjoyed Transformers 4 better than X-men.

        1. I definitely preferred the 1998 Godzilla design, but that might be because I am a biology nerd. I haven’t seen the new transformers, but I really enjoyed Days of Future Past, so I’ll make my own judgement whenever I get round to Age of Extinction.

          1. Exactly. The 98 Godzilla followed the anatomy of an marine iguana, with humanoid features. This version just lost me. I did enjoy the fire breath scenes.

            What really got me was the comparison I did of 2 scenes from the 2014 Godzilla and 1998. 98, it was where he was being chased from the fish pile, and jumped over the sea wall lined with tanks. The 2014 showed Godzilla in the last scene, waddling back into the ocean and finally falling stomach first into the bay only to float away.

            Days of Future Past was too scattered for me. It seemed as if the movie was spread too thin between the past and present scenes. It was interesting, but lacked something.

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