My Final Piece For Unreality

by Remy Carreiro

Though it is an old adverb with roots dating back to the 1300’s, there is truth to the adage: all good things must come to an end. It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that this will be my final piece writing for Unreality. I am fully aware that the title has already given this fact away, which should be a clear indicator as to why I am going back to bagging groceries. Just kidding about that last part. I will still be writing for a living. Sadly, I will just be doing it for places other than Unreality. Alas, fret not. This was an amicable decision across all parties, and it has been a very tough transition for me, as I adore Unreality. I was a reader long before I was a writer, and will continue to be, long after I walk away. I just did not want to be dad who went out for milk one day and never came home. I would much prefer to be the dad who said I love you, THEN went out for milk one day and never came home. Think of this as that I love you before the fated milk run.

The best gig of my life thus far.

First thing I want to do is thank Paul Tassi. It all started for me in December of 2011 when Paul finally caved and decided to publish this very first article from me. Even reading it now, I kind of laugh and am extremely grateful he published it. The ideas were there, and the movies I chose I am still very proud of, but formatting was weird. I had no idea what I was doing, and if you look back on those first few weeks (all my Unreality work is collected here, for those interested), you can sort of see that. Thing is, Paul took that shot anyway. Truth is, he never even busted my balls. He let me write what I wanted, and if I took too large a misstep, he would just kind of mentor me and remind me why that wasn’t okay, and we would move on. Truth is, Paul spoiled me. He gave me the idea ALL editors were like that, and the three years writing since have proven quite the opposite to be true. Most editors seem to take pleasure in crucifying an article. Paul is not like that, and never was. Anyone who has ever written for him will stand behind this fact.

Ultimately, it was Paul who gave me my first chance, which helped me sneak myself into writing more and more. I was snake inside a cardboard box. I kept think everyone would kick it over and reveal me for a sham, yet I somehow made it all the way, all because of Unreality. Hell, even my own site would have never happened had he not let the world hear my voice first. So to start this final article in any way other than thanking Paul would have been to spit in the face of the world Paul helped create for me. Also huge shout out to Nat. You guys don’t know anything about Nat, as he is the Oz behind the curtain for Unreality and many other sites in the BC Media family. Without Nat and Paul, the modern version of writer Remy that all know would NOT exist. I stop and tip my hat to both of them in recognition to that. If you ever enjoyed my writing or are a fan of this site, you should, too. THEY make it happen, and seek little thanks for that. Come to think of it, they are kinda like the website version of….

But which one is Batman is which one is Robin? Guess you’ll have to work with them to find out.

I also wanted to take a moment to point that that I was hired in the VERY first bunch of Unreality writers. Up to that point, it had been just Paul, doing it all solo. Many of said writers have gone on to glorious other gigs since, which Unreality helped open the door for. You had the brilliant Sara Clemens, who now has her own site. The hunky T.J Fink, who was in the most famous viral video of last year (seriously), among others. Now, I, too, have to move on. This place is like the most amazing Lilly pad. You jump to it and know it is perfect, but also know you need to jump to another Lilly pad at some point, lest you get too comfortable. Now is simply the point of me jumping. There is a big world out there for writers, but you will never know that unless you are brave enough to leap from time to time.

Did you like how I went from talking about leaping to incorporating this pic? I hope you did. I did it for you.

The real reason I am here, though, is not just to say goodbye, or in the hopes for some epic send-off. I truly just wanted to thank you. As in, to all of you. You readers are a remarkable group of people, and I am not just blowing smoke up your ass. I have written for quite a few websites, and Unreality readers do something no other site does. They critique, and do not do it in the condescending tone in which most faceless commenters choose to (just look at the comments on a piece like this I did elsewhere to see what I mean). While I may have been a defensive little turd starting out here, I was naive. I thought I was a hot shit, when in truth, I was still undigested food at that point. Though it may be a weird analogy, you guys and gals helped me get digested and get one step closer to one day potentially being that hot shit. I still have miles of intestine to go, but so much progress has been made because of you all. So please know, this analogy is super weird, but these thanks are super genuine. Even on those occasions you didn’t like a piece, you told me why, and often did so in a way that made me much better at what I do. Hell, thanking you seems mild. I would give you a hug if a I could. So know that thank you is genuine, and know I plan on taking you all with me, no matter where I end up. The stuff I did for Unreality is some of my proudest work. But the truth is, I am just getting started.

Hell yes, you got that right.

Also, let it be known, you are being left in some really great hands. The new batch of writers Paul has for Unreality right now are funny, intelligent, and all bring something unique to the table. You may be losing me, but you have a stable of writers here who will make you forget about me, pretty quickly, and that is a testimony to just how good they are at what they do. Except for that ONE dude who…just kidding. I genuinely think Unreality will only shine more and more over time. I was just incredibly honored to have been a part of it. To have helped get it where it is today. Unreality gave me wings, and like Kratos, I plan on using these  f*cking things to change the world. I love you, people. Thank you for being so kind to me, so receptive to me, and so honest with me. You, and this entire experience has not only made me a better writer, but also, a better person. One really can’t ask for much more than that. Oh, and one more thing….

Oh, and please don’t think I am gone. You can still read my purest, Remy’est stuff over at my own site, which is updated weekly. You can also find me adding new stuff daily on Neatorama. Finally, I am a real person, not an internet personality, and you can talk to me, directly, at any point, here. I also post unique content and contests there, so it is well worth checking out and would mean a lot to me if you joined my cult of REMlins. Afterall, I am nothing without you. You can stalk me on Twitter, too, if you’d like. So don’t worry, I may be leaving here, but you wont be able to shake me….