6 Things That Absolutely Suck at the Movie Theater


If I’m now paying 12 bucks just to go see a movie and well over 20 bucks for the whole experience then I’d like to think I can expect good things at a movie theater.  Sure there’s no way to tell if the movie will be good or not until it’s been viewed, however there are other things clearly in our control.

It’s not exactly difficult to behave yourself at a movie theater is it?  Apparently it is.  And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  There are a whole host of things that could go wrong while at the theater.

Here are six that really piss me off

The Cell Phone That Goes Off

Movie Theater

Honestly, with all the crap we see during the previews that mention how NOT to have your cell phone on during the movie?  How in the world is this still going on in theaters?  Not only that, whenever the damn thing rings at least three times it’s usually cause for murder.  No question.  Giant sign:  TURN CELL PHONES OFF.  Cell phone still rings.  How?  How?

The Tall Person

Movie Theater

This is just the luck of the draw I guess.  I’m 6’0 tall so I doubt that I’ve caused trouble for those behind me.  And I have to say theaters have made advancements in seating.  However, if someone is 6’5 or taller you are absolutely screwed.  And if you’re in a crowded theater, God help you.  Ever watch an entire movie with your head tilted?  Man that blows.

The Talker or Laugher

Movie Theater

I didn’t realize how many people thought that a movie theater was their own personal living room.  Not only that, sometimes you get the people that actually speak just to piss other people off.  The worst thing is when you get a group of people that are either drunk or stoned.

Having to go to the bathroom

Movie Theater

This sucks.  Period.  It just sucks.   It’s happened to me once or twice where I just couldn’t hold it in.  God forbid you have to take a dump.  Thank God that’s never happened to me before.

The No Seat Situation

Movie Theater

You know what that means.  It means you’re sitting in the front which is about the worst possible thing that could happen to you at the theater other than being vomited on, the theater collapsing on your head, or having exploding diarrhea.

The Seat Saving Debacle

Movie Theater

Well there are two things here.  One.  You either have to save a seat and have to deal with people getting annoyed at you or two.  You’re the one trying to get a seat and have to ask people to move.  If it weren’t for people simply being assholes, none of this would even be an issue.

We’ll see you….AT the movies.

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  1. How about the practice of taking babies and/or toddlers in to daytime showings? Superman Returns and Transformers were ruined for me due to screaming small people.

  2. At the last movie I went to (Terminator Salvation) some fat lady yelled at me for talking… Halfway through the credits. I let the major actors roll by, the credits reached “key grip” and I started to talk… And this fat woman turns around and tells me to shut the fuck up. When I told her to calm down, her redneck boyfriend started climbing over his chair at me. I thought I was going to get punched in the face.

    Thoughts on this?

  3. how did you not add children, screaming babies or the “texters”…. i think if the person in front of you keeps pulling out their phone, the light is almost as bad as if they were talking on it. horrible.

    when i went to see X-Men: Wolverine Origins…. it was opening weekend, 9:30 on a Saturday night, and the couple behind me brought their baby and their toddler!

    about an hour into the movie, the baby just started screaming… and it didn’t stop. the mom was holding it and not doing anything. she was at the very back of the theatre and not even near an exit. i turned around and just said “dude, come on!”. they ended up leaving but not before telling me that i was being RUDE! that’s the worst. if you can’t find a fucking babysitter for 2 hours, you don’t get to go out! that’s what you get, having children was your choice, don’t ruin my movie experience with it!

  4. I almost never go to the movies anymore for all of the reasons you’ve mentioned and a few more. If I go, I usually attend an early matinee the second week of release. The killer for me is when you are in a practically empty theater and some winner has to sit directly in front of you or directly behind you when 150 other seats are available. I just wait, put it on the projector at home, and turn the ringer off. Heaven.

  5. Something that annoys me but is only in my control after the fact is going to see a movie with someone that asks questions about what is happening throughout the entire film because they don’t know the plot of the movie they are paying to watch and/or are completely devoid of having an attention span longer than three seconds. When I find out someone I know is like this I won’t ever go to another movie with them. It’s no big surprise to learn they haven’t ever finished reading a book in their entire life.

  6. You’re completely right! I guess for the long run it’ll be even cheaper to have your own movie theater at home! Oh and a popcorn machine! 🙂

  7. I can top the baby in the theater. Went to see the first lord of the rings (packed theater) and a baby was screaming part way through. Father took the baby out to the hallway and calmed it down, came back in (sitting in middle so everyone had to stand to let him back in). Baby immediately starts screaming again, everyone stands and lets him back out. He comes back with baby, baby starts screaming again, and this time they don’t take the baby out instead the mother gives the baby a rattle to play with (now screaming and shaking a rattle). Needless to say I was feeling homicidal at this point. Fortunately the manager comes in and tells the couple they will have to leave. The lady pompously states that if people wanted it quiet they should have stayed home and rented the movie when it comes out. Not sure what the manager whispered in reply but they hightailed it out after that (probably that if they didn’t leave he was going to let us have a whack at them).

    Another pet peeve I have to is people that buy children tickets to a pg13 movie or a rated R movie and then leave them at the theater. I don’t know how many times I have seen small children go running screaming from a movie theater during a horror movie.

  8. My problem with theatres are they are so damn expensive these daays! And sometimes the film is only available in 3D so you are forced to pay extra for the ticket.

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