Why Celebrities Will Never be as Iconic as They Used to be


…because their mugshots will never look good as posters in your dorm room. Take a gander at Frank Sinatra, arrested back in ’39 for “seduction” (can that be real?) What a badass, which is why I have this image hanging on my wall. But what about our rouge-ish celebrities? Do they have the same effect when poster-fied? Well, take a look.


Name: LaBeouf, Shia

DOB: 6-11-86

Wanted for: DUI, Reckless endangerment, excess use of the word “no.”


Name: Lohan, Lindsay

DOB: 7-2-86

Wanted for: Possesion of cocaine, public indecency, neglect of a perfectly valid career.


Name: Downey Jr., Robert

DOB: 4-4-65

Wanted for: DUI, unlicensed firearm, possession of cocaine, crack, Mexican Black Tar heroin and probably a goat.


Name: I., T.

DOB: 9-25-1980

Wanted for: Possesion of semi-automatic weapons,  automatic weapons, grenades, rocket launcers, land mines, gatling guns, surface-to-air missiles.


Name: McConaughey, Matthew

DOB: 11-4-69

Wanted for: Refusal to put a shirt on after officer told him repeatedly to do so. Also, impersonating the Joker.


Name: Rourke, Mickey

DOB: 9-16-52

Wanted for: DUI, on a Vespa, yes, that’s possible. Also wanted for some fashion related crimes.


Name: Gibson, Mel

DOB: 1-3-56

Wanted for: DUI, drunk and disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, being a racist asshole.


Name: Dogg, Snoop

DOB: 9-20-71

Wanted for: Possession, use and distribution of most of California’s marijuana.


Name: Hilton, Paris

DOB: 2-17-81

Wanted for: DUI, public indecency, the malicious spreading of STDs throughout the great Los Angeles area.


Name: Bauer, Jack

DOB: The dawn of time

Wanted for: Torture, prisoner rights violations, war crimes, treason.

Alright, I take everything back, I would totally buy this as a poster.

Add Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Five Solid TV Shows and Movies Turned into Games
10 Humongous Plot Holes in the Star Wars Franchise
May the Fourth Be With You: The History of “Star Wars Day”
MCU Characters Whose Costumes Got Worse Over Time
Guide to Retro Gaming: How to Prepare Your Playing Device for This
How to Get the Luna’s Howl Hand Cannon in Destiny 2
Explaining the Ending to Outlast 2
The 5 Best Nintendo Switch Battery Cases for 2019
Who Is Gotham’s Solomon Grundy?
Explaining Black Sky from Marvel’s The Defenders
What We Know About the White Ranger Showing Up in BOOM! Studios’s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Lord Zedd
Five DC Superheroes Who are Incredible Liars
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Guy Gardner
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Mister Terrific
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Marvel’s Okoye
Here’s Why Apple Should Buy Activision
The Advantages of Developing a Mobile App
10 Things You Should Know about Logitech Gaming Software
Why Web Performance Optimization Matters