Wait, They’re Making a Hot Wheels Movie, Seriously?

 hot wheels

Well, yes if you believe this quote, where Mattel VP of Marketing justifies the reasons for making the upcoming film:

“There’s a huge scope of what you can do. It’s a billion-dollar brand for us. We want to continue making it relevant for kids. We won’t have the cars talk. That would be off brand position for us. It won’t be another ‘Knight Rider,’ I promise that. We always start out not wanting to make a long toy commercial. We want to make a credible story that will make people go to the theater.”

Look, I know we’re running out of superheroes, but really, you’re turning to toys? And you know, maybe toys that ended up with their own TV shows (read: Transformers, G.I. Joe) might have some semblance of plot and legend to work with, but Hot Wheels? How? If it’s not Cars and it’s not Knight Rider and it’s hopefully not Speed Racer, then what the hell is it?

This is kind of like making a movie about a slinky. Yes, I played with it as a child, but that doesn’t mean it deserves its own feature film. As I recall, the extent of my own Hot Wheels experience was racing them around that orange track until it broke, then attempting to flush them down the toilet in anger. Mattel, I will hire myself out as a script consultant if you need me.

No Responses

Add Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

10 Humongous Plot Holes in the Star Wars Franchise
May the Fourth Be With You: The History of “Star Wars Day”
MCU Characters Whose Costumes Got Worse Over Time
The Truth Behind the Famous ‘I’m Walkin’ Here’ Scene in Midnight Cowboy
How to Unlock the Ultima Weapon in Kingdom Hearts 3
A Very Basic Hollow Knight Walkthrough
Five Awesome Cheats for Mount and Blade: Warband
Lord of Wolves
How to get the Lord of Wolves Shotgun in Destiny 2
10 Things You Didn’t Know about The Witcher’s Yennefer
Watchmen Jeremy Irons Ozymandias
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Watchmen’s Ozymandias
Who Is Gotham’s Solomon Grundy?
Explaining Black Sky from Marvel’s The Defenders
Lore Olympus
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Lore Olympus
The Top 10 Most Popular Web Comics Online Today
Five DC Superheroes Who are Incredible Liars
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Guy Gardner
How Cloud-based Logging Is Influencing Gaming Experiences
Why Web Performance Optimization Matters
Using Log Management Tools to Monitor Your Web App
Server Monitoring Tools That Provide Uninterrupted Gameplay