I get really pissed off when I throw down good money on a new game, and it ends up being less than eight hours long. If your game is eight hours, and it is decent, you get a pass. If your game is UNDER eight hours, it better blow my mind from the first frame to the last, or I will make an evil face, hiss at it, and bring it back (for full refund) to Gamestop. That is the curse of short games. I make sure they get NONE Of my money. Don’t get me wrong, if I buy a used game and it is short, that is not as big of a deal. 20 bucks for six hours is not a horrible exchange rate.
But if I forked over sixty (very hard earned) dollars, the game I am playing better be an 8-10 hour experience or more, or else we are going to have some issues. Now that I laid down those perimeters, here are six games that I felt were WAY too short to garner the sixty dollar price tag. Also, Portal is not on the list because Portal’s damn near perfection and replayability have it in a category all by itself.
Believe it or not, this scene is a dance-off. Okay, maybe not, but the game is crazy enough that no one would be surprised.
This is the example I had to open up with, because honestly, it may be the one example on the list I am really on the fence about. You see, Asura’s Wrath jams SO MUCH into the measly five or so hours of gameplay, that you can ALMOST forgive the fact that you beat it in two sittings. Or one if your morbidly obese. Some people hated this game because it bounced an awful lot between action game and series of epic QTE’s, but the very mayhem of the title is what made Asura’s Wrath work. Seriously, for those who don’t know, this is how insane this game is:
I mean, yes, you fight Gods and shit. But five hours? That is a viewings and a half of Gangs of New York. That is just not okay for sixty bucks. Truth is, the game lasted any longer, I probably would have had a seizure, though, so there’s that.
Star Fox 64
I will slap that toad right in his $@%#^&* face!
Oh man, when this game booted up and I started playing it, I was so excited. Everything from the slick gameplay to the shiny graphics pulled me right in. Flash forward two hours later, and I am holding the controller, dumbstruck that I just beat this game the day I bought it. This was right around the time Final Fantasy was blowing my mind and giving me fifty plus hours of gameplay. This was when Ocarina of Time was numbing my brain with its size. Those examples made Star Fox stand out even more to me.
I mean, come on, Star Fox! I beat you in one sitting. Two hours of gameplay. Granted, if I was more thorough and more of a completionist, I could have squeezed more hours out of it, but that was it. Man, that was when I started losing faith in Nintendo. Truth is, I never got it back.
Wanted: Weapons of Fate
Look at me curving the SHIT out of this bullet, yo!
Okay, first off, Wanted was kind of an awesome game. It really was. If this game was merely two or three more hours, it might have made a “most underrated games of this generation” list. Honestly, it was THAT fun to play. The bullet curving mechanic was a blast to play with, and the opening level that takes place on a crashing plane was pretty unforgettable. So why did everyone forget this game?
Because it took four hours to beat.
Granted, those four hours were fun as hell, but still, four hours does not a sixty dollar game make. That out of the way, you see this in the bargain bin for under twenty, it definitely merits a play through.
Star Wars: Force Unleashed II
It is odd the older and older I get, Darth Vader never becomes any less cool.
I will admit, I know some people hated this game, but it sucked me right in. Something about a darker version of the Star Wars world just really works for me, and that is what this game is. Hell, it even had a God of War style boss fight with a giant space beast. Campy at times, but fun.
So I am playing the game, and I am really enjoying it even though combat is very repetitious. Suddenly, I am fighting Darth Vader. Wait, am I am fighting him and I am thinking ” I have only been playing this game for a handful of hours now, this can’t be the last fight”, so I reluctantly beat him, thinking some brand new antagonist is going to be introduced, and the game just ends. That is it. A little under four hours.
I, ofcourse, screamed NOOOOOOOooooo at the screen like Luke. Yes, I am lame.
Man, this game is so much fun, I hope it lasts foreve…….oh.
By the time it has taken you to read this article, I beat Mirror’s Edge twice. Wait, wait, make that thrice. The worst part is, the gameplay was fun and wholly original. There had been no game like Mirror’s Edge when it came out, so when it ended after three to four hours, it makes sense some gamers were kind of pissed off. Especially considering this was a “purchase the day it comes out” kind of game.
Ofcourse, no one tells you, purchase the day it comes out, and be done with it by the next day. Hopefully they fix this flaw with the forthcoming sequel.
Quantum of Solace
Hey, let’s make a Bond game that doesn’t entirely suck, and let’s make it six minutes long.
My caption for that photo pretty much says it all.
Okay, so those are a few of the games I thought were way too short. What games do YOU think were too damn short? Take to the comments and let me know. Maybe you will inspire a follow-up list.