Unreality’s Oscar 2011 Liveblog

Welcome to Unrealiy’s third annual liveblog of the Academy Awards. Why should you tune in here over anywhere else? Because we’re awesome damnit, and this is like the Super Bowl for entertainment junkies like ourselves.

I’ll be updating this post through the show with my thoughts on what’s happening, and I’ll probably cover a bit of the red carpet as well. I’m actually pretty excited for the awards this year, as last year I felt things were a bit too obvious (I predicted 85% of the awards correct). This year, I think we have a far better selection of movies and performances, and though I have my favorites, I’m curious to see how it all turns out. Also, James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosting should be interesting.

Alright, so the liveblog kicks off below, probably about 20-30 mins before the actual show at 8 EST. Keep refreshing the pages for the latest updates, and chime in any time with your own thoughts.

7:31 – OK, kicking things off with some good ‘ol E! red carpet action. Just turned it on and Penelope Cruz’s boobs are front and center. Good start.

7:33 – Alright alright alright, it’s Matthew McConaughey. Not sure why he’s here, but OK.

7:35 – T-Mobil is selling a phone preloaded with Inception? That’s weird. I can think of zero circumstances where I’d ever want to watch Inception on my  phone.

7:38 – Christian Bale’s natural accent sounds really weird. It’s even different than it was when he was English in The Prestige.

7:39 – I don’t think Sandra Bullock has aged in 15 years. She and Keanu both.  Must have been something in the water during Speed.

7:40 – Wait, Kelly Osbourne is a fashion analyst now? How the hell did that manifest itself?

7:43 – Yes, Robert Downey Jr. is far more interesting than anything Donald Trump is saying.

7:44 – Kunis. Yes.

7:49 – Mark Wahlberg’s wife wins worst dress award, but it doesn’t count since I don’t know her name.

7:51 – Scarjo looks pretty hot, despite what Kelly Osbourne says. She’s just jelly, as Diablo Cody would say.

7:56 – Last one before the show. Natalie Portman looking somewhat pregnant but still smokin’ hot. Though it appears even pregnancy cannot cause her boobs to exist.

8:00 – I’ve been duped! The Oscars start at 8:30, who knew. At least Ryan Seacrest is being replaced with Tim Gunn, who is awesome.

8:01 – Damn, Jennifer Hudson lost ten thousand pounds.

8:03 – Wow, the female interviewer is crazy butch. HEY NATALIE PORTMAN HOW DO YOU FEEL TONIGHT.

8:05 – James Franco gets a swanky room for his interview. Dude once took 60 credits in one semester during college. No joke.

8:06 – Idea: Justin Timberlake hosting the Oscars. That would be pretty legit.

8:14 – Everyone is raving about Gweneth Paltrow’s robot dress and I don’t know why.

8:23 – Sorry there was a cat on my keyboard. My life is an internet meme.

8:27 – Hooray, Tom Hanks. Start being in better movies again.

8:30 – Alright here we go.

8:31 – Seen better montages on YouTube, but whatever.

8:38 – Pretty funny intro, not sure how Back to the Future fit in, but sure. Note they skipped all the movies who are in no way a serious contender for Best Picture (Winter’s Bone, The Kids Are All Right, Toy Story).

8:40 – Aww Anne Hathaway’s mom. Aww Grandma Franco.

8:42 – Uhhh, what does Tom Hanks have to do with Gone with the Wind?

8:43 – So is he saying that whoever wins Art Direction and Cinematography is going to win it all?

8:44 – Alice in Wonderland???? I don’t care about this award, but that movie was horrific, and it looked horrific to boot thanks to the 3D which muddied up whatever Oscar winning Art Direction there apparently was.

8:47 – Hooray Cinematography! Probably one of the only things Inception will win tonight.

8:48 – Chris Nolan is grown up Leo DiCaprio.

8:52 – Man, those earlobes on Kirk Douglas are no joke.

8:55 – I have a feeling I’m wrong about this one.

8:56 – Kirk Douglas is the man.

8:57 – Yeahhh Leo was the safe pick. I really wanted Hailee Steinfeld, she really deserved it.

8:59 – Oooo F-bomb in the acceptance speech, always a classic!

9:01 – Kunis and Timberlake? Best looking couple of the night I imagine.

9:02 – Really not digging this “reference another movie that won the same award” motif.

9:03 – “You know…” Nice Timberlake.

9:06 – See this category makes no sense because Toy Story HAS to win, because it was nominated for Best Picture. If any of these were better, they would have been nominated for that.

9:07 – Toldya. It was one of my favorites of the year in any case.

9:09 – Yeah bummer year for Dreamworks because How to Train Your Dragon probably their best film ever. If it was up against Cars 2 it would have won.

9:11 – I’m told people want me to say who actually won instead of just hinting at it. So far Alice and Wonderland – Best Art Direction, Inception – Best Cinematography, Melissa Leo – Best Supporting Actress, Toy Story 3 – Best Animated Feature.

9:13 – Why does Jeffrey Dean Morgan have a Spanish accent?

9: 14 – Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Sorkin’s Social Network. First of many for that movie tonight, or will King’s Speech dominate it in the late game?

9:15 – If you don’t know why this should have won, watch the first five minutes again. Great scene.

9:17 – Best Original Screenplay to King’s Speech. Finally I’m back on track with guessing. Well deserved. Sorry, but the script wasn’t Inception’s strong suit.

9:23 – Anne Hathaway is a pretty damn good singer.

9:25 – Aw, I was hoping Jackman would jump out of the audience and join her.

9:26 – James Franco in drag for little to no reason.

9:27 – Odd couple of the night, Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. She used to be a wildchild back in the day though… Google that.

9: 28 – In a Better World wins Best Foreign Language Film. Thought Biutiful was a lock.

9:29 – Reese Witherspoon still looking perky. She kind of dropped off the radar for a while didn’t she?

9:30 – Bale has to win Best Supporting, there’s no one even close in this category. Errr maybe Rush.

9:31 – Nice! Bale wins it. Do something crazy in your speech!

9:32 – 5 million Americans just learned that Christian Bale is British.

9:33 – Ouch, booed for a website plug. Not exactly the time in an Oscar speech.

9:39 – ABC, Disney, Academy circlejerk.

9:40 – Oh my God it’s time for the SOUND AWARDS!!!

9:41 – Enter the only way to get people excited about the sound awards, play the Star Wars theme.

9:42 – Are they not performing the nominees for Best Song this year? I thought that was a great feature.

9:43 – Oh this is Best Original Score. Slightly more interesting than Sound Mixing. Gotta go with Trent Reznor. Can’t believe Daft Punk didn’t even get a nom for Tron. How awesome would this have looked on stage.

9:44 – Wow, Trent Reznor has cleaned up quite a bit since I was cutting myself to his NIN songs in middle school. KIDDING. But yeah, he’s cleaned up. Great soundtrack. Listen to it here.

9:45 – Oo new hottest couple award with Scarjo and McConaughy. Alright, alright, alright. Now come the more boring sound awards. I picked Inception and I don’t know why. I remember there being a lot of sound.

9:49 – Turns out instinct was right, Inception takes both.

9:51 – I have a Excel Spreadsheet for my office pool at JoBlo.com so I’m not just making these picks up. My big misses so far have been Supporting Actress and Foreign Film. People are crazy good at picking over there so I’m guessing I’ve already lost.

9:54 – George Costanza’s crush, Marissa Tomei, announcing all the awards that we couldn’t jam in here tonight.

9:55 – I don’t care what anyone says, Cate Blanchett is strange looking. Though she’s out-stranged by her dress tonight.

9:56 – Only three movies used makeup this year I guess. Wolfman wins. I forgot that movie even existed.

9:58 – Best Costume design. Which Victorian-era British movie will win this year? Is King’s Speech retro enough?

9:59 – Nope, Alice. Good lord, Alice in Wonderland has won two Oscars. I know they’re visual awards, but I thought this movie looked like shit.

10:02 – Obama talking about Best Song? What? Will he be chiming in on any other categories tonight?

10:03 – Oh good we are hearing all the songs performed. First up, Toy Story staple Randy Newman. I’m just going to point you here….

10:05 – We’re doing them all in a row? Zachary Levi can sing? What the whatttt?

10:06 – Tangled was great. See it if you haven’t. Fantastic date movie.

10:09 – Adrien Brody and Maggie Gyllenhaal selling Stella Artois? Uncomfortable.

10:11 – I feel like James Franco is bored. Ooo look Amy Adams. Delightful.

10:12 – Why are people yelling at Jake Gyllenhaal? And yeah, he’s right about these shorts killing Oscar ballots.

10:13 – Strangers no More wins. I picked Warriors of Quigang cause it had a cool title. Jake Gyllenhaal was right.

10:15 – Yeahhhhhh God of Love. Thought for sure I’d lost that one.

10:16 – Best hair of the evening by far.

10:17 – Ahahahaha alright, autotuned Harry Potter is freaking awesome.

10:19 – Whoever thought of this segment is a genius.

10:20 – Oprah? OK? I’m holding out for Obama announcing Best Picture.

10:21 – Best Documentary! Will Bansky win? Will he show up?

10:22 – Booooring. Inside Job wins. Way to go Academy to ensure you don’t have like, a memorable moment at your show.

10:26 – Billy Crystal brought in to pinch hit. Standing ovation from the audience. Maybe he should just take over from here.

10:30 – Hologram Bob Hope doing better than any host in recent memory. I feel like we’re living Futurama or something.

10:32 – Most entertaining presenters Jude Law and Downey Jr. for sure. Actual believable banter.

10:33 – Best Visual Effects goes to Inception. Good good. Cleaning up all the tech awards, but that’s as far as it’ll get.

10:36 – Social Network wins Best Editing. I picked Black Swan? Whoops.

10:41 – James Franco is awesomely awkward. Not exactly right for the Oscars though.

10:42 – Roommate: “Does he have aspergers?”

10:43 – Don’t actually remember that song in 127 Hours. I don’t think that movie is taking home a single Oscar tonight unfortunately.

10:44 – Can they really give an Oscar to a country song by a veteran fictional star making a comeback two years in a row?

10:46 – Nope. Randy Newman. By far the worst of the bunch. Definitely no “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”

10:52 – Oh hi Celine Dion. Time to be sad for the RIP video.

10:55 – Any glaring omissions? I don’t recall any.

10:56 – Wait, this girl is black?

11:00 – Just the big four awards left right?

11:01 – A million “is Hillary Swank hot” debates resurface around the country.

11:02 – Directing! Tom Hooper, King’s Speech. Fincher SO deserved that. Yes, King’s Speech is good, but what Fincher did with Social Network was far more extraordinary.

11:05 – Just found pictures of Winter’s Bone Jennifer Lawrence on the red carpet. Holy crap, that’s a transformation from that film.

11:11 – Presenter and host both nominees for Best Actor. Pretty crazy

11:12 – Come on Natalie.

11:16 – Nice! I thought they’d give it to Benning because she’s old, and Portman has a career ahead of her. But yeah, she definitely deserved it, she’s amazing in Black Swan. And yes, that move is far more than just a Kunis/Portman sex scene, though that doesn’t hurt.

11:19 – Man, even the camera operators. She got everyone in there.

11:20 – “Flub! Drink at home.” Deal, Hathaway.

11:21 – This is the most locked category in the last ten years. No question Firth wins this.

11:25 – Absolutely. You know how hard it is to learn how to fake stutter accurately?

11:28 – Alright, what do you think for Best Picture? Will King’s Speech pull off a relative sweep? Or will Social Network knock it down at the last minute? There is no option three. It’s retarded they’ve expanded the category to ten pictures when no more than 2 or 3 ever realistically have a shot.

11:32 – Spielberg to announce Best Picture. Yet another person I’ve seen tonight who needs to start making great movies again.

11:35 – The King’s Speech takes it. Yeah, that definitely seemed the way the night was heading. I think I let my personal preference cloud my picks of what would realistically win this year. But whatever, it is a phenomenal movie and I’ve no problem with it winning (though I stand by Fincher for director like I stood by Cameron last year).

11:38 – Well that’s all she wrote. Wasn’t a big fan of the Franco/Hathaway combo, but a lot of good movies on the docket this year for sure. Looking forward to next year as always. Much better way to end with this kids’ choir and all the winners coming out onstage than the hosts just waving and credits rolling.

So, what’d you think?

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  1. Damn, where can I see the actual show? AP only showed the red carpet.

    Is it weird that I thought Helena Carter looked pretty hot with those sunglasses? Well not as hot as Johansson but not bad at all.

  2. Silly Paul. How To Train Your Dragon was good, and Despicable Me should have been nominated as well. And The Illusionist is an amazing animated art film film. So, yeah. Toy Story 3 was good, but the weakest of the trilogy.

  3. Am I the only one who’s a little disappointed that Mandy Moore wasn’t showing off her legs?

    And yeah, I was hoping Randy Newman would finish his song with “…something like that.”

  4. Everything about it was shitty. All the awards were either really really obvious or really bizarre and stupid. Only funny or entertaining part was Downey and Law.

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