Why Entourage Sucks

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I think you can tell a lot about a person based on what kind of entertainment they’re into.  I don’t necessarily mean television shows and movies – although those can be good indicators – as books, music, and magazines can be quite telling, too.  When it comes to television shows, I am very confident that anyone who lists “Entourage”  amongst his or her favorite shows is the type of person I’d want nothing to do with.  The first season was interesting and somewhat unique, but the series quickly – very quickly – became predictable, boring, and well, stupid.  I know that Entourage isn’t meant to have depth, but even for a light, “fun” show, it’s horrible.  Entourage returns on July 12, and there’s no way I’ll be watching.  Keep reading to see why I think Entourage sucks.

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Every single show starts off one of two ways; there are very few exceptions: either “E” gets a wake-up telephone call from Ari Gold, who’s douching it up on a golf course or something, or the four guys (E, Vince, Drama, and Turtle) hang out in the kitchen, engaging in witless, poorly-written banter while Drama cooks breakfast.  Vince will be confused about something, Turtle will make a remark about banging some hoes, and Drama will get defensive about something and reference an old acting gig.  Keep in mind that this last for about two or three minutes, which amounts to roughly 1/10th of the show.  And people like this?

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The show’s usual running time is about 22 minutes; it rarely cracks 24 minutes.  Unfortunately, nothing but repetitive, trivial bullsh*t goes down each episode, the highlight being some wasted, pointless celebrity cameo.  With the exception of Gary Busey on the beach (which even I will admit was pretty funny), the celebrity cameos are nothing more than a distraction from the show’s mundane storyline, poor writing, and terrible acting – and I’ll get to that in a minute.  Most plotlines revolve around Vince making a crappy movie, Vince considering firing Ari, or Vince pining over some chick.  Drama and Turtle are thrown in for a little comic relief.  Rinse and repeat.  It’s amazing that a show about a Hollywood actor could be so boring.  I’m a friggin’ malpractice attorney and I’m more entertained going to a discovery conference than I am watching Vinny Chase go to a Playboy party.

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Everyone raves about Piven as Ari Gold, but I don’t see what all the hype is about.  Fortunately for Piven, the rest of the actors on the show are so inept that he comes off like a real thespian.  Kevin Dillon as Johnny Drama has become as one-dimensional an actor as one could fathom.  I know it’s supposed to be funny, but he’s essentially become a caricature of himself.  Insecure ramblings about his glory days on Viking Quest, obsessing over calf muscles, and constant inquiries as to available roles for “an older brother type” are recycled show after show.

When I first starting watching the show, I thought that maybe Adrian Grenier’s performances were so vapid because Vince himself was a shallow, pretty actor.  As the show went on, though, I realized that Grenier is a terrible actor who adds no depth whatsoever to Vincent Chase.  Again, I know it’s supposed to be a “fun” show, but shouldn’t I care whether or not Vince is a success in Hollywood?  With Grenier playing him, I just can’t; there’s no semblance of character to which I can relate.  I don’t have a big problem with E, but I can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone who is about 4’11” can nab the girls that he does.

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And finally, there’s Ari Gold, the boastful, obnoxious agent who treats everyone around him like crap.  Like Drama, it’s the same thing with Ari every episode: he kissed Vince’s ass, makes some dumb jokes about Lloyd’s knees being dirty, delivers half of his lines with the palms of his hands together and placed under his bottom lip, and delivers the other half with his arms spread and a big, stupid grin on his arrogant face.  And for all this the guy won an Emmy?  Whatever.

If you do enjoy Entourage, that’s just fine and dandy.  I hope you enjoy the upcoming season.  For me, though, it’s redundant, amateur crap, and I can’t imagine a more wasteful way to spend 22 minutes of my Sunday night.

And oh yeah, not that it has any bearing on the show, but Johnny Drama looks like a hogfish:

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59 Comments

  1. Roland June 1, 2009
  2. IcemanD June 1, 2009
  3. Madison June 1, 2009
  4. IcemanD June 1, 2009
  5. IcemanD June 1, 2009
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  12. Madison July 10, 2009
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  13. bee July 13, 2009
  14. Madison July 13, 2009
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  18. bunker August 14, 2009
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  20. HBOoo August 15, 2009
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