IMDB’s Bottom 10: The Starfighters

Perhaps it’s because I hate myself, but more likely it’s because I love movies. Even bad movies. Especially bad movies, come to think of it. Call it noble, call it stupid, but I have decided to brave the worst celluloid has to offer: the ten worst movies of all time.

Movie: The Starfighters

Drink of choice: Le Ferme Julien Rose

Companions: Friend and stalwart movie viewer Andy Feldman

IMDB Bottom 100 Ranking: #10

Choice Quote: “Did you know flying a plane is like making love?”

The film’s titlecard or a failed Atari game?

On the surface, The Starfighters is a film about an Air Force base. At it’s deepest level, The Starfighters is a film about an Air Force base. Given the fact that the only way to view this movie without buying a VHS copy online was to watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, I knew I was in for a stinker. Still, I adore bad movies.  Unfortunately, one of the criteria for a movie to be bad is that there has to actually be a film.

The Starfighters has, at various moments throughout its 90 minute run time, more stock footage of Air Force planes refueling and bombing targets than a training video. Remember the beginning of Mel Brooks’ classic Spaceballs? The ship that carries Dark Helmet makes a hilariously tedious entrance, dragging on and on across the frame. This movie is like one long, unfunny version of that gag.

The backside of the never-ending ship during the opening of Spaceballs

Is there a plot? I’m not entirely sure. The movies jumps between lengthy segments of dialogue-less plane footage and scenes between a small group of military personnel cavorting at a bar, one pilot driving his date to some kind of a Lover’s Lane and also a pool party. Given how many defenseless targets are bombed in this movie, and the fact that Mr. Top Gun never gets the moves on his lady love, I’d say this movie is about a non-existent war against the sand of Death Valley and a guy struggling mightily to get to second base.

Should you see it? Absolutely not. Think back to my first installment, on Thankskilling. That movie is F- awful and also a must see. I’ve probably watched it six times by now. However, not all bad movies are good times. The Starfighters is excruciatingly slow, and the credits should’ve featured a cameo appearance by Scramble, since Andy was fighting the tedium by playing it on his phone throughout the viewing. Half my notes on this thing were plot developments phrased as questions, since I could never tell what exactly was going on. Next time you go to the gas station, watch someone fill up there tank. Repeat eighteen times. Congratulations, you’ve just watched The Starfighters!

[Note: If you are really a glutton for punishment, the MST3K version can be streamed on Netflix instant]

Next up: #9, 2002’s Ben & Arthur. Wish me luck.


  1. Steve February 27, 2012
  2. Tim February 27, 2012

Add Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

How to Save Movies From Streaming Platforms on a PC
The Top 10 Alien Horror Movies of All-Time
The 10 Best Bigfoot Movies of All-Time
The Most Iconic Accessories To Appear on Film
Mastercard Becomes Global League Of Legends ESports Sponsor
Black Desert Online’s Drieghan Expansion Playable at EGX 2018
The Five Best FPS Games of All-Time
Everything You Need to Know about the Sheh Rata Shrine
Top Internationally Rated British Shows to Watch In 2018
A Guide to the Cars of Breaking Bad
The World is Freaking Out About Netflix
The Top 10 Sci-Fi TV Shows of All-Time
The History of and Story Behind the Wonder Woman Logo
Who is The Black Flash?
10 Things You Didn’t Know About Firefly from DC Comics
10 Fun Facts About “The Legend of Korra” Comic Book
Five Awesome Pieces of Marvel Themed Jewelry
10 Awesome Geek Themed Book Lights
10 Great Products for Any Legend of Zelda Fan
LEGO Reveals A TRON: Legacy Light Cycles Set
An Interesting Gallery of Undertale Cosplay
Famous Cosplayer Yota Nakiri Before And After She Started Cosplaying
Amazing D&D Cosplay Brings Kenku To Life
Five Video Games that Generate the Best Cosplay