Five Things About the Phantom Menace That Didn’t Suck

I’ve posted a few Phantom Menace-themed items this week in the lead up to the 3D re-release of the movie Friday, and with them, I’ve always made one point very clear, the movie sucks.

It’s old news, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to see the terribleness again in 3D, but I thought that it might be a bit too easy to bash, and there wasn’t a point to beating a dead horse into the dust.

Instead, I’m going to try and put a rare positive spin on something I can’t stand, coming up with a few things that were bright spots in an otherwise horrible mess of plot, dialogue and acting. Here they are:

1. Finally, Epic Lightsaber Battles

I appreciated the use of the lightsaber battles in the first film as avenues of character development, as Vader and Luke often spent more time talking than fighting, but there’s a time and a place for that, and sometimes you just want to see these weapons and warriors let loose.

Before it went WAY overboard in Revenge of the Sith with a stupid volcano fight that was almost a parody of itself, the Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Darth Maul fight was, and is, simply fantastic. The dual sided red blade swinging against the blue and green ones while Duel of the Fates blasted in the background was everything fans wanted from a lightsaber fight, and it even ended with a bit of ultra violence as Maul was chopped in half. Impressive for a PG film.

2. Darth Maul was Wicked

That leads me to my next point, where we focus on the only good villain of the entire new prequel trilogy. Don’t get me started on Grievous or Dooku. This is supposed to be a positive article. But Maul? He was amazing.

No, his character wasn’t given nearly enough screen time, and he didn’t need to be mute, but it’s hard to think of a more fearsome looking villain across any sci-fi feature. He could have been an icon, had the film itself not stunk, but he was one of the bright points of the film, and a truly malevolent bad guy.

3. Pod racing is Actually Kind of Awesome

I hated, hated little Anakin more than I’ve hated almost any other annoying little kid in a movie, and thought the plot development which made pod racing decide the entire fate of the galaxy was incredible stupid.

That said, the pod race itself was undeniably thrilling, and I even think it might be worth it to see in…dare I say it…3D. Perhaps my memories are tainted by fond memories of Star Wars Episode I Racer on N64, but even now, the race scene is pretty damn cool, regardless of the idiocy of its significance.

4. Queen Amadala’s Wardrobe was Amazing

The Phantom Menace had the uncanny ability to make seasoned actors seem awful with its atrocious script, and Natalie Portman’s Amadala was no exception.

But looking past the dialogue, you have to admit that her costume design was something to behold. No, it didn’t at all fit in with anything else in the movie, and could have been straight out of The Cell, but each costume was a masterwork of forward-thinking fashion, and the film could have benefited if perhaps everyone else in the galaxy wasn’t just wearing brown and black robes all the time.

5. Ummm…

Look, I tried, but now all that’s coming to mind is Jar Jar and trade federations and midichlorians. Though there were a few bright points, the film is undeniably terrible in many, many ways. The closest thing to a final compliment I could give it would be that at least Hayden Christensen hadn’t shown up to emote yet.

I’m skipping all three of the new films in 3D and MIGHT go see the original trilogy in the new format if I hear it’s any good. Someday, someone will make more Star Wars films, but I do pray it’s not George Lucas.



  1. HarshReality February 10, 2012
  2. Gil February 10, 2012
  3. hallam February 10, 2012
  4. Chris February 10, 2012
  5. Dorito February 10, 2012
  6. OsabenKenobi February 10, 2012
  7. Reboram February 10, 2012
  8. Jason February 10, 2012
  9. Barretstrife February 10, 2012
  10. hallam February 10, 2012
  11. Johnny D February 10, 2012
  12. Diablo February 10, 2012
  13. JJ February 10, 2012
  14. Chris February 10, 2012
  15. Jason M February 10, 2012
  16. Mark February 11, 2012
  17. Smoke Tetsu February 11, 2012
  18. Seantheartist February 11, 2012
  19. sage February 11, 2012
  20. MetFanMac February 12, 2012
  21. BuddyLee February 13, 2012
  22. Bob February 13, 2012
  23. Nickjaa February 13, 2012
  24. Reynaldo K. Cruz February 14, 2012
  25. Crash February 14, 2012
  26. glad2notBu February 17, 2012
  27. AK November 5, 2012

Add Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Top 10 Alien Horror Movies of All-Time
The 10 Best Bigfoot Movies of All-Time
The Most Iconic Accessories To Appear on Film
Here’s How to Make That Lasagna From “Garfield”
Everything You Need to Know about the Sheh Rata Shrine
The Top 10 Educational Games and Platforms Online
5 of the Best Virtual Reality Multiplayer Games
The Top Five Characters from Borderlands 2
The Top 10 Sci-Fi TV Shows of All-Time
Ranking Every Season of Arrow So Far
What is the Cast of Firefly Up to Today?
How Timmy From South Park was Saved from Being Removed From the Show
The History of and Story Behind the Wonder Woman Logo
Who is The Black Flash?
10 Things You Didn’t Know About Firefly from DC Comics
10 Fun Facts About “The Legend of Korra” Comic Book
Five Awesome Pieces of Marvel Themed Jewelry
10 Awesome Geek Themed Book Lights
10 Great Products for Any Legend of Zelda Fan
LEGO Reveals A TRON: Legacy Light Cycles Set
An Interesting Gallery of Undertale Cosplay
Famous Cosplayer Yota Nakiri Before And After She Started Cosplaying
Amazing D&D Cosplay Brings Kenku To Life
Five Video Games that Generate the Best Cosplay