I’m Pretty Sure ‘The Expendables’ is ‘Action Movie’


And by Action Movie, I’m referring to the Date Movie, Epic Movie, Scary Movie series, where everything is a parody of the actual genre. How else can you explain this ridiculous ass cast and this ridiculous ass premise, which I don’t fully even understand. Something about killing a South American dictator that happens to be the Latino guy from Dexter unless my eyes are deceiving me?

This isn’t a “trailer” trailer, per se, it’s a rough cut used to sell the movie, which is why it seems not particularly well put together. It looks essentially just like Rambo, except now Rambo has badass friends that are just as ****ing crazy as he is.

I mean, this looks awesome the way any over the top mindless action move looks awesome in the most primal of ways. The acting is just horrendous, but that’s to be expected. But the one thing I can’t deal with? Stallone’s stupid ass goatee.

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