Eight Video Game Kills that Made Me Feel Guilty in Freestyle Unrhymed Poetry

Big Daddy (Bioshock)

big daddy

The metal behemoth bellows

I rage and unload bullets and fire

Why does he fight so fiercely?

What monster lurks within that suit?

The battle is won

His armor a tomb

What’s this?

A little girl?

You were protecting her

I didn’t know

I’m sorry

I would have done the same

Should some stranger approach

I’ll protect her now

I promise

Teemo (League of Legends)

teemo

Little Teemo

How did you get here?

This is a battlefield for gods and demons, conquerors and kings

You are so tiny

What are you?

A badger?

A badger in a bunny suit?

I don’t understand

Why should you face off against such foes who tower above you?

But then you shoot me in the eye with a dart

And I step on your poison mushrooms

And I remember why I want you dead

Kaiden (Mass Effect)

kaiden

I didn’t know it would be a choice

When I sent you on that mission on Virmire

You seemed like a nice enough guy

I’m sorry I let you die

Maybe we could have been friends

And explored the stars together

Fought Collectors and Geth and Reapers

Laughed with Mordin and Wrex and Garrus

Saved the entire galaxy

But I really wanted to bang Ashley

And I didn’t feel the same about you

Koopas (Super Mario Bros.)

koopa

Little turtles

Walking around

Not ghosts, not goombas, not bullets, not booms, not piranha plants

Just little turtles

Walking around

I wonder if Bowser is so mad

Because I’ve been killing his children

Little turtles

Walking around

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