Don’t Next Me! My Time Spent on Chat Roulette

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If you haven’t yet experienced Chat Roulette, you’re either missing out or incredibly lucky.  Allow me to explain.  Chat Roulette is, as you’d probably expect, well, chat roulette.  Simply by going to the website (you can access it by clicking HERE), you’re paired up in a video chat room with a total stranger.  If the person has a webcam (and really, it’s not much fun to chat with someone who doesn’t), you’ll see the results of your roulette “spin.”  It could be a cute girl from Brazil, it could be a man dressed as a cat, or it could be much, much worse.  I decided to spend some time on Chat Roulette and for the most part, it was pretty interesting.

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Sometimes it feels just like this.

The first time I tried out Chat Roulette, I was at home and used my laptop.  I don’t have a webcam connected to my laptop, so it was pretty tough to keep the interests of strangers for more than a few seconds.  And that was if I was lucky enough to get someone to stick around at all, being that almost everyone “nexted” me immediately once they found out that I didn’t have a webcam.  “Nexting,” by the way, is simply clicking the “Next” button at the top of the screen to kick out the present stranger and get hooked up with a new one.

I found my best strategy was to type “Hello” right away, in hopes that the stranger would respond without leaving the chat room.  If I got a response, I had just a few seconds to keep the stranger around, so I’d either compliment their features or clothes (“Nice glasses,” or “I like your hat”) or try to make them laugh.  I was more successful than I thought I’d be, but that just means I was able to chat for over a minute.  My two most “successful” chats involved a kid in Chile stoned out of his mind and a goth girl accompanied by her scary-mask-sporting friend.  I realized that to really expereince Chat Roulette, I was going to need to have a webcam on my computer, too.

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Yikes.

I spent this past weekend at my aunt and uncle’s house and, fortunately for me, they have a webcam on their computer.  Firing up Chat Roulette, I immediately realized that I probably should have put on a hat or combed my hair.  It’s really long right now, and since I’m Jewish, I wasn’t blessed with the type of hair that flows nicely or ends in gentle wisps.  No, I’ve got a full-on Jewfro, and without any product or a hat, it looks like a disaster.  It’s not quite a Seth Rogen/Jonah Hill model, but it’s big and unkempt.  At least I still have my hair, right?  Anyway, the strangers on Chat Roulette were more than happy to comment on it.  More than a few times I was greeted with “Nice Jewfro,” but I suppose that if I’m going to get made fun of for something, it could be a lot worse than my hair.

Occasionally my girlfriend would peer in over my shoulder, which would elicit demands of “Take of your shirt!” or “Show your tits!”  She didn’t play along.

When my girlfriend wasn’t around, I managed to chat with a very cute Brazilian girl who wore glasses.  I complimented her glasses, she complimented my smile, and it was a match made in Chat Roulette heaven.  Thankfully, I retained enough high school Spanish (yes, I am aware they speak Portuguese in Brazil) to communicate for a few minutes, and after being battered and bruised by previous strangers, I found a sweet girl willing to chat for a bit.  It did wonders for the ego, as it’s quite humbling to be placed in a chat room with a cute girl, only to have her “Next” you before you can so much as say “hello.”

Other highlights included a group of guys drinking beers at a house Florida.  I expected insults and belligerence, but they were actually pretty cool guys.  It turns out that Chat Roulette is a big part of their pregame, and I imagine that they’re not the only ones to embrace this form of instant entertainment.  I also came across two college girls in Arkansas who were drunk and stoned.  I asked if Chat Roulette was what they did before going out at night.  They giggled, which prompted me to ask if Chat Roulette was the night.  Indeed it was.

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Sometimes, you can get lucky.

The last highlight – or lowlight, really – was a guy’s erect member in all its glory on my computer screen.  I couldn’t have pressed “Next” any quicker.  When the next stranger arrived, I told him how thankful I was that he wasn’t a giant meatpipe.  He laughed pretty hard and clapped his hands, as it was apparent that he’s had the same unfortunate experience as me.

I think I’ve had my fill of Chat Roulette, but then again, I don’t have a webcam.  If you’re looking for a quick time-waster, I can’t think of too many options that’d be better.  You’re certainly going to meet some, uh, interesting people, but if looking at male genitalia isn’t your thing, you might want to avoid Chat Roulette altogether.

Anyone else use Chat Roulette?  What was the weirdest/funniest thing you saw?  Let me know.


24 Comments

  1. JZ February 16, 2010
  2. Limitus February 16, 2010
  3. matt February 16, 2010
  4. JZ February 16, 2010
  5. Drew Dickinson February 16, 2010
  6. nissmo February 16, 2010
  7. Wilson February 16, 2010
  8. moe February 16, 2010
  9. Emily February 16, 2010
  10. Madison February 16, 2010
  11. Laura February 16, 2010
  12. Paul Tassi February 16, 2010
  13. Wilson February 16, 2010
  14. ann February 17, 2010
  15. Lagrange February 17, 2010
  16. IcemanD February 17, 2010
  17. matt February 17, 2010
  18. Madison February 17, 2010
  19. Requiem February 18, 2010
  20. Pingback: Unreality - Chat Roulette: The Movie | February 26, 2010
  21. Paula March 7, 2010
  22. amin March 8, 2010
  23. Dan March 15, 2010
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  25. david January 2, 2011

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