Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Every Love Story in Mass Effect 2

mass-effect211.jpg

Say you’re sad and alone this Valentine’s Day. Well, I have a solution for you! There are plenty of fine men, women and aliens in Mass Effect 2, just waiting to get your groove on with you, and it might be the most depressing Valentine’s Day ever, but at least you can pretend someone loves you! Was that too harsh?

Annnnyways, the main reason I’m posting this is not to satisfy anyone’s CGI fetish, but to show all the romantic options that you probably missed while playing the game. I hooked up with Tali and Miranda in my first playthrough, and was shot down by Jack during my female Renegade go-round. You’re telling me that chick doesn’t go both ways? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Some of these I didn’t even know were options, and some feature stuff I missed that I didn’t even know was possible. A strip dance from Yeoman Chambers? Are you kidding? Check them all out below.

Male Shepard

Jack:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MdD4g2-sv0&feature=player_embedded

I thought this one would be a little more explicit, since she’s, you know, a tattooed nympho, but Bioware has kind of chickened out this time around after all this shit they took last time for showing bare ass for two seconds in the original game.

Miranda:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xijbArxskqc&feature=player_embedded

Miranda was the much-too-obvious love option in the game, but her scene is probably the most provocative. Space cleavage!

Tali:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFC6GBD5ltw&feature=player_embedded

This was kind of hilarious, and also very cute. I love Tali, and I’m glad she was an option in this game, and she’s who I’m sticking with until the end of the series. Probably.

Kelly:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ja3EjKOqTU&feature=player_embedded

Man, all I got was a quick cut saying we had dinner and “stayed up late.” How did you get all these options?

Morinth:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isARefv1Nvo&feature=player_embedded

WORST. HOOKUP. EVER.

Female Shepard

Jacob Taylor:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3wO4IOJc9U&feature=player_embedded

Once you go bl…nevermind. Look at those sexy space abs!

Thane/Garrus:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2b1P-N1E2E

I did not see these two coming, though granted, I didn’t talk to either my entire female playthrough. The Garrus one is kind of funny, but the Thane one is really sad and touching. Aw, Mass Effect, you get me every time!

In closing, I think it’s good the game expanded romantic options outside of two people for either gender. However, doesn’t a romance with a Quarian, Drell or Turian seem kind of pointless? Humans and humans, and humans and Asari can mate, but I haven’t seen any cross-race characters running around in the game yet, something I believe we would have run across if it was possible. Is being attracted to other races in Mass Effect sort of like being gay? You can love them but not have biological kids together? I guess that’s why they have space adoption.

Bonus! 

Safe Sex talk with the Love Doctor Mordin

About Tali:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1yp78vjKao&feature=player_embedded

About Thane: 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdbVu3xwx9U&feature=player_embedded

I love Mordin, as he’s one of the funniest video game characters I’ve ever come across.

Thanks to Kotaku for finding most of these.

5 Comments

  1. Captain Qwert Jr February 12, 2010
  2. Aycee February 12, 2010
  3. Laudell February 12, 2010
  4. Beth February 12, 2010
  5. Warren February 15, 2010

Add Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Mortal Kombat Movie
Should Hollywood Stop Making Video Game Movie Adaptations?
10 Humongous Plot Holes in the Star Wars Franchise
May the Fourth Be With You: The History of “Star Wars Day”
MCU Characters Whose Costumes Got Worse Over Time
Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Possible Starter Evolution Types
Can The Xbox Series X Win The Console War?
Ill will be the First Horror Game with New Developer Team Clout
Destiny 2
How to Find and Use the Rat King Catalyst in Destiny 2
Yennefer
10 Things You Didn’t Know about The Witcher’s Yennefer
Watchmen Jeremy Irons Ozymandias
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Watchmen’s Ozymandias
Who Is Gotham’s Solomon Grundy?
Explaining Black Sky from Marvel’s The Defenders
Marvel Fortnite Comic Run to Start in June
Kylo Ren
5 Things You Might Not Know About Kylo Ren If You Only Watched The Movies
Lore Olympus
10 Things You Didn’t Know about Lore Olympus
The Top 10 Most Popular Web Comics Online Today
How Cloud-based Logging Is Influencing Gaming Experiences
Why Web Performance Optimization Matters
Monitor
Using Log Management Tools to Monitor Your Web App
Server
Server Monitoring Tools That Provide Uninterrupted Gameplay