Battle Royale: Heroes vs. X-Men

heroes

There has been much debate since Heroes‘ debut of exactly how much it has ripped off the X-Men for characters, plot point, powers, etc. Though the X-Men can’t claim ownership of the whole super mutant concept, it is a bit shaky as more and more heroes show up with even more Marvel created abilities.

Because of the similarities and ongoing feud, I wanted to orchestrate a universe-crossing battle with each hero pitted against the mutant whose powers they ripped off borrowed for the show. The battle lasts ten rounds, and after the dust settles we’ll see who comes out on top. The fighting begins after the jump.

Round 1: Claire vs. Wolverine

claire_wolverine

Yeah, alright, this isn’t really fair. Wolverine would chop Claire up into little cheerleader bits, seeing as she doesn’t have any means of attack besides her dreaded taser. But as the little Claire pieces scatter the ground, would each of them re-grow themselves to form an army of Claires? Well, Wolverine can do this all day…or all century, whatever.

Winner: Wolverine (X-Men lead 1-0)

Round 2: Tracy vs. Iceman

tracy_iceman

Please, let’s see some ice armor Tracy and then we’re talking. Granted she’s just learning to use her power, but she’ll probably be killed off before she can do anything remotely cool with it. Meanwhille, Iceman has an ice surfboard. Cowabunga!

Winner: Iceman (X-Men lead 2-0)

Round 3: Hiro vs. Nightcrawler

hiro_nightcrawler

Both can teleport, but only one can time travel. As much as I love Nightcrawler, Hiro would kick his ass, because what he lacks in combat skills, he makes up for in the ability to go back and try again if he screws it up. Yeah, it’s not exactly the fairest way to fight, but that won’t change the fact that Nightcrawler would end up dead after Hiro stops time, walks up to him and puts a samurai sword through his chest.

Winner: Hiro (X-Men lead 2-1)

Round 4: Matt vs. Professor X

matt_prof_x

Matt is like Professor X when X was thirty. Potentially Matt could be as powerful as the good professor given another decade or two of power development, but even though he can create illusions now, his powers still aren’t up to the level where the Cerebro wouldn’t blow his brains up.

Winner: Professor X (X-Men lead 3-1)

Round 5: Nathan vs. Angel

nathan_angel

We’re talking regular, feathery Angel here, not post-apocalyptic blade slinging Archangel. If that’s the case Nathan wins out because he doesn’t need giant, useless wings to fly around, opting more for the “Superman” style of flying about. They’d be fighting and Angel would end up getting stuck in a doorway. Game over.

Winner: Nathan (X-Men lead 3-2)

Round 6: Super Mohinder vs. Beast

mohinder_beast

Both are super-agile doctors who do research on the genetic mutations that cause power development. But I think Mohinder has the edge here because he seems to be a bit stronger than Beast, plus he apparently has a few Spider-man powers thrown into the mix as well. Sorry Beast, you need more than blur fur to win this one.

Winner: Mohinder (Tied at 3-3)

Round 7: Meredith vs. Pyro

meredith_pyro

Claire’s mom has yet to use her power for anything remotely cool besides burning her own house down and almost killing her child. Useful! And also she feels the need to “flame on” her palm anytime she’s introduced to someone. Pyro wins because he can do this.

Winner: Pyro (X-Men lead 4-3)

Round 8: Arthur vs. Rogue

arthur_rogue

Both have the power to zap the ability (and life) out of another mutant, but Arthur’s power seems much more advanced and dangerous. Rogue only keeps the power for a short period of time, but there doesn’t seem to be a limit on how long Arthur can keep his stolen goods. He also can absorb so much of a person that they literally turn into dust on the spot, even if they’ve been rumored to be immortal. I’ve never seen Rogue pull that off.

Winner: Arthur (Tied at 4-4)

Round 9: Sylar vs. Mageneto

sylar_magneto

Both are supervillains and controlling metal is pretty much as good as telekinesis, which is really the only power Sylar ever feels like using. But now that he can heal after tinkering with Claire’s brain, nothing would be able to stop him. I think Magneto might find himself looking at the top of his own skull by the end of the fearsome battle.

Winner: Sylar (Heroes lead 5-4)

Round 10: Peter vs. Phoenix

peter_phoenix

The end-all, be-all of super powerful mutants. I’ve lost track of how many powers Peter has amassed at this point, but he would be throwing every single one of them at Phoenix. Ultimately however, she’d obliterate him in a tempest of psychic energy, and there’s nothing invisibility or regeneration could do to stop her.

Winner: Phoenix (Tied at 5-5)

Wow, I really did not expect that to be tied, I’ll be honest. I thought the X-Men would crush it, but it seems when you rip off someone’s powers, sometimes you can make them bigger and better. But I feel that we should do one more tie breaking round, just so we have a clear winner, so that leads us to…

Sudden Death: Ando vs. Apocalypse

ando_apocalypse

*STOMP*

Oh, will you look at that, X-Men win!


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