Kame-chan the cockaitel takes a break from being an annoying, worthless animal to sing Saria’s Song from the Zelda franchise. Nothing personal against Kame-chan (because as far as birds go, he’s aight), but why would someone have a pet bird? They’re loud, they defecate constantly, you can’t cuddle with them, and they have that dangerous beak – the type of lipless, sharp mouth that haunts my dreams. I don’t get it. It’s still way better than owning a cat, though. What do people say when you inform them that cats suck? “Not my cat; he’s just like a dog.” The highest compliment you can give a cat is pointing out its similarities to a dog. What does any of this have to do with Zelda or singing birds? Hell if I know. It’s Sunday afternoon and all the E from last night still hasn’t worn off yet. My monitor tastes amazing.