Eleven Video Game Animals You’d Want as Pets

mew

Two things inspired me to write this post. The first is all the talk about Barack Obama promising to buy his daughters a puppy now that he’s president (I hear they want a goldendoodle, which sounds like something from Harry Potter). The second is that I’ve been wandering around in Fallout 3 for thirty #$^%ing hours and I still haven’t found this dog I see in all the damn screenshots. I even beat the main quest line and he showed up in the end cutscene! Sigh.

Anyways, I wondered what other pets I could sub in for him, if I had every other video game to choose from. See what would make the world’s most bizarre pet shop after the jump:

1) Sonic – Sonic the Hedgehog

sonic

Hedgehogs normally suck ass. They’re spiky and mean and not nearly as cool as hamsters. But what if your hedgehog was blue and could break the sound barrier? Hell yes. And he’d make you rich by bringing you and unlimited supply of gold rings.

2) Mew – Pokemon

mew_2

There were 151 300,000 Pokemon to chose from, but I ultimately decided on Mew. He’s friendly, catlike and adorable, not to mention he could shield your entire house with a psychic force field if he wanted to. Also, I’m hoping he can just mentally dissolve the poo in his body for a litter box free household.

3) Chocobo – Final Fantasy

chocobo

Now I’m talking about a full grown Chocobo, not one of those annoying little baby chripy ones. I want a big one I can ride and put battle armor on. Granted it doesn’t exactly look fearsome riding around on Big Bird, but it’d be cool nonetheless.

4) Ecco – Ecco the Dolphin

ecco

He’s like Flipper, if Flipper could kill sharks with sonic pulses. Fish are generally pretty boring pets, but I’m pretty sure having your own dolphin would be badass. Granted his games kind of sucked (they made a PS2 one??), but he’d be a pretty great pet, provided you don’t mind sharing your pool.

5) Brumak – Gears of War

brumak

It’d be kind of cool to have a pet where you could literally live on their back if you wanted to. Although I have to say, I’m not sure I could afford the steam shovel would be required to clean up his daily dumps.

6) Epona – The Legend of Zelda

epona

She’d (he’d?) probably be the most loyal pet on the list. Who was there whenever you didn’t feel like hoofing it across forty miles of Hyrule? Epona. Who was there when you needed someone to get the hell out of Dodge when you were being chased by ghosts wielding scary lanterns? Epona. So who would be there when you needed a ride home after a drunken night at the bar? Epona.

7) Yoshi – Super Mario Bros.

yoshi

How could I leave Yoshi off the list? He’s been used and abused in various Mario games, often cast into bottomless pits when questing for coins, but he’s always been a true friend. Yeah, he’s a dinosaur, but probably the least intimidating one since Barney, and often is downright adorable. Take him for a walk around the park, and you’ll have all the ladies ooo-ing and ahh-ing in no time, provided he doesn’t eat them and poop them all out as eggs.

8 ) Kazooie – Banjo-Kazooie

kazooie

No, not Banjo, what the hell would I do with a bear wearing shorts? I want Kazooie, his backpack residing bird friend. Yeah, he’s pretty damn annoying, but how many other pets can actually help you fly, or even better, shoot eggs out of their mouth? How does that even work incidentally?

9) Zombie Doberman – Resident Evil

zombie_doberman

What’s better than a guard dog? A zombie guard dog! Granted it’s entirely possible he might turn on you at any given moment, causing you to wander the earth forever in a state of un-death, but hey, at least no one’s ever going to steal your flatscreen.

10) Conker – Conker’s Bad Fur Day

conker

Another Rare character makes the list, but this one is far from the G-rated action of Banjo-Kazooie. He was cute and cuddly in Diddy Kong Racing, but has developed quite the temper the past few years and has frequently been spotted running around with two submachine guns trying to get laid. Now that’s my kind of pet.

11) Parappa – Parappa the Rapper

parappa

Oh your poodle won a dog show? My dog can %#&ing rap! Granted a few of the animals I’ve selected can talk, but none can spit out mad rhymes like Parappa. He’d be great for parties, but would probably have kind of an attitude in day to day life around the house.


  • TSex

    I’m fairly certain Kazooie is a “she”, not a “he”.

  • Wait, really? You just blew my mind. Although that would explain the eggs…

  • Yea, Kazooie is definitely a girl. I remember being confused about the whole egg thing when I was little too, so I actually read through the manual to figure out what was going on :o)

  • tank

    look, doesn’t matter if kazooie is a he or a she. i think we can all agree it was bitch.

  • LOL Kazooie the ambiguously gendered pet

  • Vei|side

    What about back in Super Mario Bros 2?! Birdo sure wasn’t very modest having her vagina on her face.

  • SMBaublitz

    Dogmeat can be found in the area called Scrap Yard its very NNE of Megaton. Across the river. You will find him killing some Raiders. He is pretty useful. But he can die.

  • haterade

    What about Rush the dog from Megaman? He was a trampoline and a rocket and a submarine for christ’s sake. That would be sweet.

  • Areign

    echo games were awesome on the sega

  • Veer

    what about Aggro from Shadow of the Collossus?
    i’d take him over Epona

  • Greg

    What about Daxter? Who wouldn’t want Vinnie Delpino as a pet?

  • ades

    nothing is better than a prinny, they are cute and can do your homework, if the homework is not good, you can throw away them ……

  • Eli

    I personally would have though Pikachu would have been on here.

  • anonOsumthin

    What about Daxter from Jak and Daxter. Who wouldn’t want an adorable little ottsel of their own?

  • S.L.A.Y.e.R

    where’s dog from Half-life 2?

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  • To find the dog in Fallout3 you need to find the junkyard – he’s sorta in the center of it (at least he was when I found him)

  • Hahaha watch this video to see what Yoshi would be as a pet in real life: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1788882

  • [i]Fish are generally pretty boring pets[/i]

    Good thing Dolphins are mammals >_>

    Also, Felicia FTW

  • What about Navi from Legend of Zelda series???

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  • jacob

    is that ecco post just for lulz? its a mammal, not a fish. and he killed an entire alien race bent on eating all life in the ocean… twice. well, the queen twice. and traveled to the past. and the future. and is good friends with a double helix… person thing.

  • Sonic, best pal a kid could have 😉

  • rabidamoeba

    What no Moogles?

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  • bettina

    i love banjo and kazooie…the new one i’m not so sure about =/. But kazooie is definitely a girl, don’t feel bad about it because the majority of us didn’t know at first….kinda reminds me of the crying game….

  • Mike

    Dogmeat was not in the Scrapyard for me. He actually was just SW of Vault 101, about 5 minutes walk in the opposite direction of Megaton. First time I ventured that direction I found him.

  • fusionpoo

    the way me and a couple of my friends got dog meat is once you get the minefield quest from moira go to the scrapyard on the way and he should be fighting some raiders

  • Chocobo & Yoshi, most definitely.

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  • Sara

    Why aren’t Moogle’s on this list? I would kill for a Moogle.

  • Arcania

    Dogmeat’s in the North-eastern part of the Scrapland fighting some raiders. Also, there’s one thing missing from that list.

    BATTLETOADS!

  • Walkori the Uberctopus

    what about that thing from ffvii? red xiii i think his name was… he can sorta talk in english, hes friggin huge, red, and he can fight… and cast spells… and hed seem like the kinda smart dude that might be able to help with hw….

  • Walkori the Uberctopus

    and to the freak who suggested navi… HEY, LISTEN, HELLO, BLUE, WATCH OUT, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, LISTEN!!!! OMFG the most pissy thing ever not to mention that you might squish it… which would actually maybe be a good thing… but seriously… navi like ruined OoT… i liked seeing baddies while she was out because she would fly there and start bugging them

  • GABRIEL

    uhh, blond moment on your behalf. if you look at the screenshot, you’ll notice its the junk yard.

  • Vitaburst

    Felicia is a babe. I’d kill to have a pet like that.

  • Kat

    Yes, Kazooie is a she. 🙂

  • Felicia FTW!!

  • Zergling, SC. 🙂

  • george

    epona > aggro
    period.

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  • @ Vei|side
    I thought Birdo was actually a boy? Am I misinformed?

  • BLee

    UHOH HOTDOG

  • Mew would be great. Just as pettable as a cat, but can vaporize my enemies? Hell yes.

    Rush from Megaman would be awesome too. Robo-dog for the win.

  • MR. Socksforavagina

    Slippy from Starfox lol

  • Twenga

    I love Yoshi is the best!!!

  • JT

    I would choose either Yoshi or Pikachu (which wasn’ t on the list).