Mario Katharsis: Fallout 3

Fallout 3 is a game that changed my life. Well, maybe it didn’t change it, but it came pretty damned close. I decided to get Fallout 3 on a whim whilst perusing the used game selections at Gamestop, during one of their “Buy 2, Get 1 Free” sales. I had already chosen The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (a satisfying button masher with breathtaking visuals) and Ninja Gaiden, and needed to snag myself the “freebie.”

I’ve heard good things about this, I thought to myself, picking up Fallout 3. And the rest is history.

Dogmeat: one of the most faithful companions ever encountered in a game.

I’m not a gamer who is great at first person shooters. Of course, when I say “I’m not great” I mean “I’m the worst who’s ever existed.” I haven’t yet figured out why that is, considering that FPS games pretty much boil down to the most basic of gaming instincts and controls. Now, I realize Fallout 3 isn’t a straight-up shooter, as evidenced by the option to play the whole thing in third person, but I went ahead and took the opportunity to play the action RPG from a first person viewpoint, so as to increase my skillz.

And hey, it worked! Playing the slower moving game as an FPS helped me become a better gamer. I adjusted my spatial awareness to accommodate my limited view of a mere rectangle full of pixels, something that always drove me crazy with shooters—I was constantly trying to unconsciously stick my head in the TV in order to gain a better view of what was around me. For some reason I do better when I can place my avatar’s body within the context of the world around it. But here I was, moving around with the same style of viewpoint that was the norm for Halo and the like.

I also avoided using VATS whenever possible, and shot and killed my onscreen enemies in real time.

Though let’s be honest, the only time I would get this sort of result was with VATS, so there was no way I was about to abandon it completely.

And when I first encountered a deathclaw, I died looking it straight in the eye. Immediately. Seriously, did anyone successfully kill one of those things the first time you ran into one? I feel like I was a pile of meat before I even knew what was happening.

When I burned Harold, his fiery face was the only thing filling my screen. When I came across a bunch of raiders tormenting a dog, I felt like it really was me versus a bunch of bullies, and I was the one meting out righteous justice. And when one of those stupid giant mutant crabs killed my dog shortly after I got him, I was the one who punched that giant crustacean in its tiny a**hole face.

Yeah, more like mireJERK.

Now? Now I can pick up any shooter and skillfully avoid thoroughly embarrassing myself, thanks be to my time in the Capital Wasteland. I may not be the queen of headshots (though I actually pull my fair share), but I can confidently say I can pick up and play any kind of game. I can tell people I’m a serious game journalist with nary a chink in my armor.

Except sports games. Booooring! Fifa 13? Come on. Just go outside and play soccer.

Mario Katharsis Rating: Star. Because now I can play all games. I am INVINCIBLE, mofos.


16 Comments

  1. DocDoom November 14, 2012
  2. Tonyctitan November 14, 2012
  3. Michael November 14, 2012
  4. Mark Jr November 14, 2012
  5. Drew November 14, 2012
  6. Gil November 14, 2012
  7. trashcanman November 14, 2012
  8. Sara Clemens November 14, 2012
  9. frikkenkids November 14, 2012
  10. banditone November 14, 2012
  11. banditone November 14, 2012
  12. Steve November 14, 2012
  13. Sara Clemens November 14, 2012
  14. Remy Carreiro November 14, 2012
  15. Mijo November 14, 2012
  16. ant2206 November 14, 2012

Add Comment

The 10 Best Bigfoot Movies of All-Time
The Most Iconic Accessories To Appear on Film
Here’s How to Make That Lasagna From “Garfield”
The “Star Wars: Last Jedi” Gag Reel Features Carrie Fisher Slapping Oscar Isaac 40 Times
Breaking Down Each of the Races in Tera
How to Get Going with an Enchantment Table in Minecraft
How To Make Dye in Ark: Survival Evolved
10 Fun Facts About the Keo Ruug Shrine in Legends of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
How Timmy From South Park was Saved from Being Removed From the Show
Who Are the Most Popular Superheroes on TV?
Analysts Say By 2028 Netflix Will Grow To 262M Subscriptions And 72% Of America
“Rick and Morty’s” Rick Sanchez is Full of Life Wisdom
If “Ready Player One” Were More Realistic (Comic)
Video Highlights The Most Useless Superhero Powers of All-Time
RPG Bosses You Always Fight On Your Quest (Comic)
The True Power of the Infinity Gauntlet (Comic)
LEGO Reveals A TRON: Legacy Light Cycles Set
A Noise Canceling Noodle Fork That Drowns Out Slurping Sounds
We Need to Talk About These Kids Meal Spongebob Toys
“Star Wars” Darth Vader Stovetop Kettle Will Bring You To The Dark Side
Famous Cosplayer Yota Nakiri Before And After She Started Cosplaying
Amazing D&D Cosplay Brings Kenku To Life
Ideas for Female Video Game-inspired Halloween Costumes
Five Video Games that Generate the Best Cosplay