Fat, Ugly or Slutty – Where Online Gaming Misogynists are Crucified for All to See

I was recently directed toward this site, FatUglyorSlutty.com. It may sound like the world’s worst HotorNot clone, but rather it’s more of a social experiment.

It was started by a few female gamers tired of the heaping piles of misogynist shit they heard or had sent to them day in and day out over Xbox Live, which is notoriously full of assholes and immature creeps. But while I’ve become immune to being called a “faggot” at this point, I didn’t realize just how bad things were for girls on these sites.

I can’t even reprint most of the stuff that’s said here, and since its inception, the site has grown past XBL to other game centers as well, though the Microsoft service does remain the top contender.

The best part of this is that these idiot’s gamertags are presented front and center for the world to see, so any internet white knights out there can go and counter harass them if they see fit.

I fully believe that other people are the primary reason multiplayer gaming sucks so much these days, so maybe if a site like this gets really popular, people will curb their language, especially toward women, for fear of being publicly crucified.  Although in counterpoint, since Gamertags are still anonymous to the public, some may start saying vile stuff to see if they can MAKE it on the site.

I think moderators need to browse this site and starting handing down bans to these assholes. THAT’S the only way to get through to them I imagine.

  • m/k

    Oh look, now everyone’s starting to understand why I stopped playing any kind of online game a year ago.

    I’ve never been as tortured as I have on Xbox Live – not on any inage board or chat service or even a fucking Middle Eastern country [semester abroad in Lebanon]. It’s almost enough to make one hate their gender.

    Is this right? Where are these douchebags? Why does everyone complain about the lack of females playing video games or into ‘nerdy’ things, and as soon as we do you turn around and act like the most despicable assholes ever to inhabit the earth? The questions -and comments- are endless. I was harrassed once at a comic convention for wearing a fucking Metroid shirt. At a comicon, with antsy zit-faced teenage anime bitches abound and I was the only one subject to a fierce lecture even I couldn’t have conquered up on the worst of my days.

    I’m sorry for the rant, I just think that this is one of the injustices of the modern world. You know, besides poverty and corruption and all those things. But these groups have always been this way. I usually can’t walk into any [serious] computer or game store without either [1] snickering and lude comments or [2] downright flaming [ex: “Hey miss, are you looking for purses or didja just wander into the wrong store?”, as I look for a replacement fan for my takeapart project] Just as online anonymity has been a blessing for trolls and ugly folks, so has it been for the few females like me who wish to venture to such depths.

    tl;dr: You GUYS suck and I’m moving to some far off country.

  • Anon E. Moose

    Well, I’ve always known that name-calling is a huge issue in the online world, but never did I realize it was of the magnitude of poverty and corruption! [insert surprise face multiple *gasps* etc.]

    While it IS rather disturbing you get stuff like that in real life (you yanks sure have it messed up), you can’t seriously be crying over someone calling you fat over the web. If you knew the person who was attacking you was gay you’d probably exploit that and be like “You’ll never play on Broadway, princess!” or “Your daddy wanted a boy, not a fudge-packer!” so it’s rather normal to hit where it hurts.

    One last thing:
    Can’t take the heat? Stay in the kitchen. :3

  • Thank you for the link Paul. I am glad this site exists, as people should be called out for this sort of disgusting behaviour.

  • Autumn

    Anon E. Mossi, sorry but you really have no say in any of this. My girlfriend plays video games and the amount of insults and despicable hate she gets is shocking. Literally, it’s impossible to communicate with anybody when she’s in a game. Kids, immature morons who have never felt female contact, everybody – just saying the most shocking things. You’re right, it shouldn’t bother someone if they get insulted over Xbox Live but unless you’ve dealt with constant harassment every single time you enter a game, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Even when she doesn’t speak, she gets harassed. I would not want to ever even join an online game if it meant getting countless messages insulting you, sexually harrasing you, etc. Another thing? I never knew so many people have vision cameras on xbox. She gets more messages of guys’ penises than anything else.

    It really ruins the whole multiplayer experience. Those people are scum. All of them. We can’t just be like “Oh, why are you getting upset? Stay in the kitchen, lololz sexism is funny.” Moron.

  • Rob J

    “I fully believe that other people are the primary reason multiplayer gaming sucks ” – I know its true but its sounds so fucking hilarious!

  • Sara C.

    Bullying sucks no matter what genders are involved, but girl gamers do get crapped on in a special way. I only do the multiplayer thing with real-life friends, but I feel for people who want to partake anonymously just to end up getting bullied.

    It’s funny to see that there are still so many men with open hostility towards anything feminine or perceived as such (hence the prolific insult of “faggot” used towards each other). Definitely not helping the “never seen a real-life vagina or had sexual intercourse” stereotype of a male gamer, that’s for sure, since that hostility seems to underline the whole fear of the unknown thing.

    Gender stereotyping reversal side note: I just got married and we got a PS3 for our wedding. My husband grew up not allowed to play any video games, and lots of his friends were in a similar situation, so they didn’t even have each other to fall back on. On the other hand (with painted nails!), I got my NES for Christmas when I was 6. Watching him play the first GOW is adorable. It’s a regular You Are Dead par-tay up in our hizzouse.

    Now you boys let me know if you can’t understand any of this, and I’ll be sure to take the cock out of my mouth.

  • Limitus

    I for myself am not that into XBL. Some Rockband matches, a bit AC:Brotherhood thats it. And no way I’d turn on the mic, even if I had one.
    So I’m really surprised that there’s such a big mass of a**holes out there, who harass and chase away the most precious thing god gave us: female gamers!

    Of course everyone knows that there are way less female than male gamers. So I can’t understand that they ruin some possible (may it be reallife- or gamer-)relationship with such stupidity.

    I praise every female gamer I meet and try to build such a relationship. Not because I want to meet them in person or sth like that, but because I guess they are dying out and should be “rescued” and supported.

    Hope everyone gets what I’m trying to tell^^

  • crentist

    I sometimes play games online, but i never feel like i have to sit and chat with the people i play with. If it is such a problem for you girs to play online, why not just play without the chat? And if guys comes on to you because you have a girl avatar or something, why don’t you just change it to a male?

  • Anon E. Moose

    Lol, Autumn, way too much butthurt.
    As a matter of fact I do know what’s it like to be in an avalanche of hate messages and insults. I’ve bore through that for some 2 years when I was a guild master in WoW, and might I add during those two years my girlfriend used to game with me, both WoW and other games as well and the only times when someone attacked her on her gender were in instances when she and someone were arguing on a game related topic. Nobody ever went to her and started trash talking her for a reason, at least not that I know.
    Maybe your girlfriend (and that girl up there complaining) just do stuff wrong, that’s why they attract attention and hate. Call me sexist, chauvinist and whatnot, but the average woman often times doesn’t have the reflexes, knowledge and coordination needed to be a proper player.

  • Elodie

    @ Anon E. Moose:
    Next time you troll, try not to be so obvious. Lol.

  • trashcanman

    I feel bad for female gamers that it is as crappy as it is for them online. Most of them don’t even use their mics because as soon s these losers hear a feminine voice, they go into full monkey-douchetard mode. I like the idea of that site calling these pussies out, but I can’t really endorse banning people who appear on that site since I don’t believe in censorship for any reason. Sticks and stones and all that. Still, of Microsoft chooses to ban idjits who consistently harass their customers, I will not cry.

  • Isn’t there a feature under personal settings to block all messages besides friends ?

  • Ashweee

    as a female gamer, I have never had anything too terrible happen to me and I am thankful for that. Reading over all of the comments and looking at the website, I see there’s a serious problem here. But then I think to myself, “Why have I never had such horrible comments made to me?” (keep in mind my PSN is Ashweee)
    1. I play on the PSN. (and admittedly am a fan girl for the PS3). The only thing I’ve had someone say to me in Black Ops is “Oh, we got a woman!” and that was it.
    2. I mute anyone who is talking from the time I enter the match. No one is ever actually using their mics to talk about strategy for their team, so what’s the point?

    Anyways, I just want to acknowledge that there is a problem and being harassed sucks, but overall there are things that women gamers can do to ignore other players, by letting it get to you you are letting the d-bag, assholes win. They are running you off from their game, and that’s the way they like it.

  • Diva D

    And this is one of the main reasons that I don’t do the multiplayer thing. I’m not a girl, but I don’t dig the way people talk when they don’t have to own up to their words later on.

  • Steph

    Wow, I’ve experienced a lot of irritating people singing and talking about crap on mic, but that I can just mute. I’m beginning to feel glad that I never use a mic myself, and have a gamertag that doesn’t give away my gender!

  • Crash

    Strangely I’m actually with Anon E. Moose here. I’ve never seen any evidence that the ladies get more abuse while playing XBL or PSN network than anyone else. In fact many of the post on this FatUglyorSlutty site could just as easily have been sent to a dude.

    The only problem I see is that they get tons of creepers sending them pics of their dicks.
    Which really doesn’t seem all that bad upon reflection. I don’t think I’d ever have a problem with a female sending me pics of her genitals…

  • Chewbacca

    Anon E Moose, Crash, you’re clearly missing the point. It’s not just “oh, my, girls have it soooo bad online.” They do, but we all do. The level of harassment I’ve experienced and witnessed, as a man, is mind-boggling. I rarely play online. Yes, I mute every other player. None of those players have sent me messages or pictures. And it takes quite a bit to actually offend me, considering I trash talk as much as everyone else does in person as I do online. The problem lies not just in the anonymity, but in our reaction to it. We just let it slide, “oh, I can mute these people.” Well, you can’t mute a text message sent to your profile. The harassment and general dickishness is a detriment to gamers as a whole, not just female gamers. If I don’t want to play online because I’m sick of hearing “duuuuuuuuude, I shot that faggot in the ASS!” “woo bro, I bet you laid that faggot’s mom last night!” Not to mention the racial slurs, extreme profanity (I swear like an old salt myself, but replacing every third letter with the f-bomb is a bit much), and extreme stupidity that goes on, we’re never going to be able to elevate games from “toys for children” to “art.” Case in point: most “responsible adults” claim gamers are childish, immature people who can’t talk in normal sentences. Then the online community provides ample evidence. Then, when I was picking up my copy of black ops, people who had already picked theirs up came running out screaming, waving it over their head, shouting about how we “losers” didn’t have a copy. While we were in line to pick up our copies. Then a surprising amount of them drove off like maniacs- and if someone who once drove his car til the wheel fell off and whose current engine looks like a grenade went off inside it from revving is saying you are driving like a maniac, you better believe that there was some friggin unsafe driving going on- as in people walking back to their cars are having to dodge cars and screaming idiots. And one person who was waiting in line to get his copy was already complaining about how black ops was “just going to be another call of duty game,” and talking about how he was going to trade it in before he ever got it. If you felt that way, why did you even bother ordering it? If we as gamers want to be seen in a positive light, we need to band together against all bullying online. Not trash talk. Trash talk is an age-old tradition. You know, laughing at a good kill, etc. I can remember playing Dashin’ Desperadoes on Sega Genesis against my cousin and taunting him about being hit by a coconut. I made up a song for it. It was fun times. But it wasn’t an attack on his character, that’s not what trash talk should be. “I’ll screw your mom sideways with a rusty spoon!” is not trash talk, it’s offensive tripe spewed for the sake of being a dick. We have to look beyond just the harassment and step up as a whole (although I’m not trying to gloss over the harassment at all) or we’ll always be the immature, puerile idiots the media claims we are.

  • Danielle

    @Crash, Anon: Trust me, just because hear it on the mics, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. During my summers on XBL, there were lots of instances of random hate mail waiting for me after a match.

    Most of it was from butthurt dudes who “couldn’t take the heat” as you say. Of course, if I lost, they were the definition of quiet dignity. =/

    All I can say to other girls is this: play with friends, mute your mic, hide your gender, and dress your spartan/elite in unisex colors. Oh, and make your gamertag something manly or whatever.

    This way people don’t feel as bad as when they’re mowed down by a rampaging pink elite 🙂

  • A McFadden

    And yet some guys seem to think the constant unwanted attention is somehow desirable? I’ve heard a young gentleman complaining that ‘the reason there’s so much misogyny online is that women gamers are automatically worshipped just because they’re female, they don’t have to work and get good at the game’.

    But most of all the OCD-English-major in me is simply appalled at the standard of spelling and grammar displayed by today’s youth on these new-fangled ‘on line games’.

  • kurisu7885

    To those who were worried about censorship, for one ,freedom of speech doesn’t apply as much to a privately own space, and Xbox Live is privately owned. It’s in Microsoft’s best interest to make the space as pleasing as they can do as many people as they can.

    Also, freedom of speech does not entitle one to be an asshole.