Everything I Know About Mario is a Lie

Someone sent me this picture yesterday, and I had to do a double take. Is that Mario selling Princess Peach to another dude while walking away with a fat stack of coins. Yes, yes it is.

This is actually a real title in the series from Japan, and not some Chinese knockoff. Obviously this plot angle was ditched, as perhaps players didn’t want to be working as an Italian bounty hunter, rescuing a princess for some douchey prince who couldn’t get off his ass and do it himself. Look at those skinny legs! Like that guy could ever stomp a Goomba to death.

After receiving nothing more than a kiss on the cheek from the good princess, Mario is about to buy a LOT of hookers with that fat stack of cash.