Say you’re sad and alone this Valentine’s Day. Well, I have a solution for you! There are plenty of fine men, women and aliens in Mass Effect 2, just waiting to get your groove on with you, and it might be the most depressing Valentine’s Day ever, but at least you can pretend someone loves you! Was that too harsh?
Annnnyways, the main reason I’m posting this is not to satisfy anyone’s CGI fetish, but to show all the romantic options that you probably missed while playing the game. I hooked up with Tali and Miranda in my first playthrough, and was shot down by Jack during my female Renegade go-round. You’re telling me that chick doesn’t go both ways? You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Some of these I didn’t even know were options, and some feature stuff I missed that I didn’t even know was possible. A strip dance from Yeoman Chambers? Are you kidding? Check them all out below.
I thought this one would be a little more explicit, since she’s, you know, a tattooed nympho, but Bioware has kind of chickened out this time around after all this shit they took last time for showing bare ass for two seconds in the original game.
Miranda was the much-too-obvious love option in the game, but her scene is probably the most provocative. Space cleavage!
This was kind of hilarious, and also very cute. I love Tali, and I’m glad she was an option in this game, and she’s who I’m sticking with until the end of the series. Probably.
Man, all I got was a quick cut saying we had dinner and “stayed up late.” How did you get all these options?
WORST. HOOKUP. EVER.
Once you go bl…nevermind. Look at those sexy space abs!
I did not see these two coming, though granted, I didn’t talk to either my entire female playthrough. The Garrus one is kind of funny, but the Thane one is really sad and touching. Aw, Mass Effect, you get me every time!
In closing, I think it’s good the game expanded romantic options outside of two people for either gender. However, doesn’t a romance with a Quarian, Drell or Turian seem kind of pointless? Humans and humans, and humans and Asari can mate, but I haven’t seen any cross-race characters running around in the game yet, something I believe we would have run across if it was possible. Is being attracted to other races in Mass Effect sort of like being gay? You can love them but not have biological kids together? I guess that’s why they have space adoption.
Safe Sex talk with the Love Doctor Mordin
I love Mordin, as he’s one of the funniest video game characters I’ve ever come across.
Thanks to Kotaku for finding most of these.