You were Sam! You were cute little redheaded Sam on Different Strokes. You came to us out of nowhere. When executives saw that Gary Coleman wasn’t growing and not getting any cuter they realized a new spark would have to reinvigorate the show. And boy did you ever. With your country music, fun little accent and moral fiber you gave that show new life. We loved you. I loved you.
And then you went on hiatus. You grew up a little and appeared out of nowhere on that show Salute Your Shorts on Nickelodeon (also in Terminator 2 when everyone in the world looked at you and went “isn’t that the little kid from Different Strokes?”). You still had red hair but tried to portray yourself as tough and “metal” like by allowing the hair to grow way too long. I for one didn’t buy it. You weighed 6 lbs soaking wet and the thought of you as a badass just never played well.
And as if the long hair and toughness wasn’t enough you went out and joined a rock band. You released a CD and it didn’t do too well. You’re currently still in a band (called Arbuckle). You’ll try to be tough for the rest of your life and I’ll always know you as Sam. I just want you to know that.
You’ve lent your voice to many a cartoon and video games over the years and I applaud you for sticking with it all this time. Perhaps one day we can shoot the shit about being tough. Honestly I have no clue how to be a cool dude. Maybe you can teach me.